Binding 13

"Fine, I've been avoiding you at school." I admitted, mortified.

"I like honesty," he encouraged with a teasing lilt to his voice. "It's the foundation of a solid friendship."

I laughed and smiled down at the note. "And you actually want me to sign this?"

"I exerted a great deal of imagination drafting that up," Joh

I shook my head and bit back a smile. "You're ridiculous."

"Fair warning, though," he chuckled. "I don’t have sisters and I've never been friends with a girl before so if I fuck this up or say the wrong thing, you'll need to have patience with me."

"Well, I have plenty of brothers," I replied, "so I'm used to boys saying the wrong thing."

Ticking the yes box, I signed my name to the page, and then tore it out of my notebook before handing it back to Joh

The smile Joh

God, he looked like a different person when he smiled.

His entire face transformed.

His eyes lit up.

The dimples in his cheeks were visible.

He was simply beautiful, and I almost told him just that.

Thankfully, I stopped myself just in time, scrambling together, "You look brilliant," instead.

Joh

"I look brilliant?" he asked as he watched me with interest, a small smile still teasing his lips.

"In brilliant condition," I quickly corrected and then cleared my throat several times, buying myself some time to scramble for a lie, before finding one and adding, "considering you're carrying such a bad injury."

A flash of panic lit his eyes for the briefest of moments before the shutters clamped shut.

And just like that, the playful, tender version of Joh

"Don’t go there, Sha

His reaction was like a smack in the face.

"Are you okay?" I asked, hating how uncertain I sounded. "You know I didn’t mean –"

"I'm fine," he finished for me. "And I know. It's okay. I just…I can't...please forget it."

Rejection and dismissal were never nice feelings to endure, which was exactly what happened to me whenever I foolishly opened myself up to this boy.

He had a knack for building me up with words and smiles and false hope, only to crush me with silence.

It hurt more than it should.

It crushed me.

Several students filed back into the bus then, and their loud chattering distracted us both.

"About fucking time," Joh

Shrinking away from his sudden change of mood, I concentrated on the line of students all piling back into the bus.

Several lads from the team passed by our seat then, stopping to clap Joh

He ignored them all, keeping his attention glued to the sheet of paper in his hands.

"Exchanging love letters?" Gibsie taunted as he made his descent to the back of the bus. "How romantic!"

"Go fuck yourself, Gibs," Joh

"Yeah, well, I'd tell you go fuck yourself right back, but I can see you already have that sorted," Gibsie called back with a laugh.

His comment received plenty of attention from other students who decided to jump on the bandwagon and toss out suggestive comments.

"See that, lads? They stayed on the bus when we were inside."

"He wasn’t hungry for what they had in the shop."

"Hup out that!"

"Gowan, Joh

"Get in there, kid!"

Anxious, I stretched up to flag Claire and Lizzie, praying one of them would switch seats with me, but quickly sank back in my seat when my eyes landed on Ronan McGarry two rows up on the opposite side of the bus. Another dozen rows up was Bella.

Feeling trapped, I looked to Joh

"He scores on the pitch, he scores on the bus. How many tries did you hammer into her goal line, Joh

I flamed in embarrassment and dropped my head, quickly learning that spending any amount of time with Joh

Unwanted attention.

I didn’t quite catch what was said next, but Joh

I didn’t dare look.

Instead, I kept my head down and my gaze trained on my trembling hands.

"The fuck you say about her?"

"I was messing – ah, fuck, stop! Jesus, relax! It was a joke."

"Am I laughing, Robbie?"

"Relax, Cap."

"Am I fucking laughing, asshole?"

"No. Christ – ouch! Stop."

"Do you think she's laughing?"

"No."

"No," Joh

"Sorry."

"Say it again."

"I'm sorry, Joh

"To her!" Joh

"Sorry, Sha

"Um, that's okay?" I offered back, because what the hell else could I do?

"Fucking eejits," Joh

Nudging my leg with his, he drew my attention back to him.

"Don’t mind them," he said in a low tone. "That's about me, not you, okay?"

Nodding, I blew out a shaky breath, and turned to look out the window.

He hurt me.

He dismissed me.

And then he jumped right in and defended my honor.

And now?

Now, I was so confused that it was hurting my brain.

The bus roared to life a few minutes later and we were back on the road.

Mrs. Moore called for everyone's attention then and a

I was never so relieved to hear those words.

Sitting in the silence, I tried to work through my rampant emotions.

"Sha

Startled, I turned to look at Joh

"I'm a prick." Joh

"Not good at what?" Now it was my turn to look confused. "Talking? Because you don’t have to talk about it. I didn’t ask you to."

"You're not hearing me," he snapped, then shook his head, looking a

"Saying what right?"

Joh

"I overreacted," he finally said.

"Yeah," I replied flatly. "You're pretty good at that."

Disappointed, I folded my arms across my chest and then turned back towards the window, but he grabbed my arm, pulling me back to face him.