Maskerade

'It's my gnome de plum,' said Na

Gra

'You sent them some money to get it all printed?' she said.

'Only a couple of dollars,' said Na

Gra

Her lips moved silently as she thought about numbers.

'Oh,' she said, quietly. 'And that was it, was it? You never wrote to him again?'

'Not on your life. Three dollars, mind. I dint want him saying he wanted 'em back.'

'I can see that,' said Gra

'After all, there's a lot you can do with three dollars,' said Na

'Right enough,' said Gra

'I got a slate,' said Na

'Pass it over, then.'

'I bin keeping it by me in case I wake up in the night and I get an idea for a recipe, see,' said Na

'Good,' said Gra

'I'll make another cup of tea, shall I?' said Na

'Hmm?' said Gra

Na

'You've never been very good at numbers, have you?' said Gra

'Oh, you know me, Esme,' said Na

'That's good, 'cos I reckon this Master Goatberger owes you a bit more than you got, if there's any justice in the world,' said Gra

'Money ain't everything, Esme. What I say is, if you've got your health–'

'I reckon, if there's any justice, it's about four or five thousand dollars,' said Gra

There was a crash from the scullery.

'So it's a good job the money don't matter,' Gra

Na

'Could be a bit more,' said Gra

'It never!9 'You just adds up and divides and that.'

Na

'But that's a–' She stopped. The only word she could think of was 'fortune' and that wasn't adequate. Witches didn't operate in a cash economy. The whole of the Ramtops, by and large, got by without the complications of capital. Fifty dollars was a fortune. A hundred dollars was a, was a, was... well, it was two fortunes, that was what it was.

'It's a lot of money,' she said weakly. 'What couldn't I do with money like that?'

'Du

'Got it in a tin up the chimney,' said Na

Gra

'Beats me why peopled fall over themselves to read a cookery book, though,' she added. 'I mean, it's not the sort of thing that–'

The room fell silent. Na

Gra

'Oh, yes,' said Na

Gra

'Yes. Oh, yes. Yes. And some... cookery anecdotes, yes.'

Gra

Na

'Er... look under Famous Carrot and Oyster Pie,' she said. 'Page 25.'

Gra

'Er... Ci

Gra

'And?'

'Er...Celery Astonishment... page 10.'

Gra

'Can't say it astonished me,' she said. 'And... ?'

'Er... well, more or less all of Humorous Puddings and Cake Decoration. That's all of Chapter Six. I done illustrations for that.'

Gra

'What one you looking at?' said Na

'Strawberry Wobbler,' said Gra

'Ah. That one always gets a laugh.'

It did not appear to be obtaining one from Gra

'Gytha,' she said, 'this is me askin' you this. Is there any page in this book, is there any single recipe, which does not in some way relate to... goingson?'

Na

'Porridge,' she said, eventually.

'Really?'

'Yes. Er. No, I tell a lie, it's got my special honey mixture in it.'

Gra

'What about this one? Maids of Honour?'

'Weeelll, they starts out as Maids of Honour,' said Na

Gra

'An' you actually set out to–'

'It just sort of turned out that way, really.'

Gra

And it was by 'A Lancre Witch'. The world was, Gra

'Gytha Ogg,' she said.

'Yes, Esme?'

'Gytha Ogg, you look me in the eye.'

'Sorry, Esme.'

' "A Lancre Witch", it says here.'

'I never thought, Esme.'

'So you'll go and see Mr Goatberger and have this stopped, right? I don't want people lookin' at me and thinkin' about the Bananana Soup Surprise. I don't even believe the Bananana Soup Surprise. And I ain't relishin' going down the street and hearin' people makin' cracks about bananas.'

'Yes, Esme.'

'And I'll come with you to make sure you do.'

'Yes, Esme.'

'And we'll talk to the man about your money.'

'Yes, Esme.'

'And we might just drop in on young Agnes to make sure she's all right.'

'Yes, Esme.'

'But we'll do it diplomatic like. We don't want people thinkin' we're pokin' our noses in.'

'Yes, Esme.'

'No one could say I interfere where I'm not wanted. You won't find anyone callin' me a busybody.'

'Yes, Esme.'

'That was, "Yes, Esme, you won't find anyone callin' you a busybody", was it?'

'Oh, yes, Esme.'

'You sure about that?'

'Yes, Esme.'

'Good.'

Gra