Class Dis-Mythed

Pologne snarled at him. "Are you insulting my friends, you ugly creature?" She raised a manicured set of talons and beckoned dangerously. "Come on over here and say that again!"

"Now, now," I said, getting in between them. "Nice job you did on the last round," I congratulated the Pervish champion. I gave him a hearty slap on the back with a solid magikal kicker. It knocked him stumbling. I gri

"Thanks," Crasmer said.

I turned to the Sorcerer's Apprentices. "That was heroic of you, kid," I said, slapping Bee on the back in turn. "It ain't every demon who can face a bowl of Pervish food and live."

"Well, it wasn't the first time," Bee admitted. "Master S— my last teacher got me to try it."

"Like it?"

"Not a chance! No offense, sir!"

Apparently the name of Skeeve was not to be said out loud in this venue. I was amused.

Jinetta shot me a conspiratorial wink. "His teacher had us try a lot of things we would never have done before."

"Like teaming up," Melvine put in. "I'm not much for ru

"We put up with him," Pologne said. The two of them made faces at each other, but I could tell it was affectionate banter. I hoped Markie could see it from wherever she was watching. Maybe I had launched M.Y.T.H., Inc., Mark II.

Tolk leaned against Freezia, who was idly scratching his ears. The Canidian perked up suddenly, and came ambling over on all fours to sniff my wrist up and down.

"Hey, cut that out!" I roared.

"Sure sure sure," Tolk said, retreating. Instead of the suspicious expression he had worn before, he had a silly grin on his face.

"Oops," Bu

"I better get out of here before Bee does Dispell on me," I whispered to her. I turned to the contestants. "Good luck to you all, and may the best team win."

We hurried back to the bubble.

The Geek did his round of handshakes then joined us.

"Now, we're go

A very slim, very tall Pervect female in a tight, pale yellow evening dress sashayed out of the darkness carrying a ceramic box that rattled as she walked. Wild whistling erupted.

"Now, calm down, gentlemen," Schlein instructed the audience, coming over to offer an elbow to the young lady. He escorted her to a fancy carved table. "It's time to draw lots then meet your monster!"

A hulking Pervect male came forward.

"Brucel will draw for the All-Pervects."

After a hasty conference, Tolk was urged up to the table.

"And Tolk for the Sorcerer's Apprentices."

I folded my arms to wait for the results. The Geek took my action as a criticism. He ran a finger around inside his collar.

"Aahz, I want you to know this is fair. It's entirely fair, I promise! I can't help it if the monsters are killers! It's all part of the game."

"Yeah, yeah." I steeled myself. This was my own doing. I had demanded a fair competition, and to make it fair, I had to stay out of it. This might be the hardest thing I had ever done. Whatever happened, I had prepared my students as well as I could, considering their inexperience, and I had ensured that they had an honest chance. They wanted to do this. They had come here willingly to be part of Sink or Swim, and they had earned the opportunity to go all the way. I couldn't do a thing without calling a halt to the entire proceedings. I looked down at my apprentices sadly. "I know."

Brucel stuck a hand into the box and came up with a marble.

"The All-Pervects have chosen orange!"

"Oooooh," breathed the audience.

Tolk planted one flat paw over his eyes and shoved the other into the lottery box. He handed the marble off to Schlein without looking at it.

"The Sorcerer's Apprentices have chosen purple!"

"Aaaaah," the audience responded.

"We'll be back in a moment, after this word from Duzzido, the detergent that can get any stain out of your finest clothing! Duzzido it? You bet it does!"

The stage went black for thirty very long seconds.

"Welcome our final two teams!" Schlein a

The All-Pervects, whittled down to five members by the preceding rounds, stepped into the spotlight from the right. They had on fresh jumpsuits of pale green that contrasted well with their complexions, but did not conceal the bandages around a wrist here, an ear there. They looked grimly determined.

"And the challengers!"

"Booo!"

I glanced down. The audience was actually cheering and waving its arms, but the sound that reached me was disapproval. The Geek shrugged.

"People like to have bad guys and good guys, Aahz. It's nothing personal. If, and it's a big if, they make it to the final round, we'll reverse the audience reaction. You'll see."

"Welcome the Sorcerer's Apprentices!"

I could see that my students were u

"Can't tell the players without distinguishing marks," the Geek explained.

"Except for the fact that one team is nothing but Pervects."

"Well, there's three on the other team. That made it okay with 29% of the focus group we're ru

"Yeah," I said shortly. "I knew that."

"You won't do anything rash to me if something goes wrong, will you?"

I looked at Bu

"No. Of course not."

"Well, it's never 'of course' with you, Aahz," the Geek said. "I just want your assurance, that's all. Can I offer you a side bet on the outcome?"

"NO!"

I turned my back on him.

There were two paths marked on the floor that led in opposite directions, one purple and one orange. From my vantage point, and from the views provided by a dozen crystal balls arrayed about the Geek's bubble, I had a view of a roofless, hatbox-shaped building. The paths led to diametrically opposing points that each led into a maze which took up half of the hatbox. Each maze was beautifully designed, with marble statues and pillars, tinkling fountains and potted plants for decoration. In the center, where the mazes met, was a set of double doors. Before them rose a pedamented pillar on which sat an ornate golden key, of the hefty variety chatelaines used to rap the knuckles of lazy servants.

"That's the door to the Chamber of Success," Bu

I nodded. I was much more concerned with a sealed chamber the shape of a drum in the center of each maze. Fire and smoke issued from carved openings in the walls of the drum in the orange sector. Cascades of hot sparks flew out of the sealed room in the purple sector. Both concealed monsters were roaring and banging around inside their prisons. The very walls shook.

The teams entered the maze. I could follow all of the action easily, in one or more of the crystal balls in the Geek's floating office. The All-Pervects went into their half like an army infiltrating enemy territory. One of them went first while the others covered him from the entrance. As soon as he signaled that he was safe, the others followed one at a time.

"Hup! Hup, hup, hup!" they chanted.

So, they'd practiced before they came on the show, too. No team was as inexperienced as the oath of amateur status would lead one to believe. They were simply unpaid. I gri