Class Dis-Mythed

Bee blushed. The Pervects giggled. "Thank you, Skeeve!"

"Aahz! Aahzmandius!" a voice boomed out.

I turned in the direction of the voice. It was familiar, but I couldn't place it. Then I saw her.

Waddling towards me, dressed in what could have been the same faded, tentlike house dress she had been wearing when I visited her a couple of years back, was Aahz's mother, the Duchess. The elderly Pervect glared through her little glasses.

"Where is he? My little boy! My ungrateful son! Holding back on his mother's millions! No, he thinks that I can get by on air! And there he is!"

Suddenly, I found myself under a spotlight. All the magicians who had been interviewing the Geek turned to cover me. I saw my face multiplied a thousand times, each image wearing the same gudgeonlike expression of horrified astonishment.

"He comes to play in this fancy game, but he doesn't come to see his own mother! Just when I'm waiting to make another investment. I can't wait for the capital, you stingy boy! What will the neighbors think? There you are!"

"Duchess," I said, weakly, backing away from her. My escape was blocked by the dozens of people crowding in to see what all the shouting was about. "How nice to see you."

"My son!" She threw herself at me. "You've lost weight!"

No one, especially not a dozen, multi-focus crystal balls could possibly have missed when her arms sank right through the meaty sides of "Aahz" and wrapped around my much slimmer body.

"It's a disguise spell!" someone shouted.

The Geek went wide-eyed. "If you're not Aahz, there's only one other person who knows everything he does—Skeeve!"

"Skeeve!"

The guards on the side of the stage looked at one another, and started heading in my direction. I fought loose from the Duchess's embrace. I had to make a quick getaway. I concentrated on my comfortable little study on Klah, and squeezed my eyes shut.

"Not so fast, buddy," a harsh voice said.

I opened my eyes. No BAMF. My transportation spell had not worked. The arena guards had been supplemented by the Perv police force. I stopped counting after the first twenty uniformed officer. The most decorated, whom I assumed had been the one who spoke, held up a short silver wand.

"Trying to escape," he said, one eyebrow raised. "Just what we'd have thought from someone with your record."

"Isn't that the Great Skeeve?" one of the magicians asked.

"Yeah! Get a good angle. We can get this on the evening news!"

"Just a minute, sergeant," Jinetta said, stepping in between us. "What's the problem here?"

"This Klahd has been exiled from Perv, lady," the officer said. "Having broken the terms of his parole, he's going to spend a couple of years in jail thinking about why he ever bothered to come back."

"Sir, I believe you might be mistaken," Pologne said, adding her slight frame to help shield me from view. "This is a game show. There have been a lot of illusions employed during the course of this contest. Why would you think this is the real Skeeve? This is a Klahdish wizard Mr. Geek hired to impersonate him. He's one of the monsters for the Monster Monster Challenge. Wouldn't you be afraid to face a wizard of his caliber?"

"Frankly, no," the sergeant said, looking me up and down. "He looks like the real thing to me."

"A lot of Klahds look alike," Freezia said. "Are you sure it's really him? It could be that one over there?"

Bee caught the hint and promptly Datspelled himself into a duplicate of me.

"Or one of those two over here?"

Pologne and Jinetta became Skeeves and started moving around me. I took one step back and to the right. Tananda gri

"Stop that!" the officer barked. "This isn't fu

"Which one do you mean?" Jinetta asked, i

"I'll show you which one." The officer pointed the wand at us. Just then, Tolk gathered himself and leaped into the air, grabbing the wand out of his hand. He galloped about ten feet away and lowered his forequarters, wagging his tail with glee.

"Come here, Canidian. Give me that!"

"Come and get it!" Tolk shouted. "Let's play keepaway!" He dashed away into the darkness, pursued by ten policemen and two magicians with crystal balls. I backed into the crowd with the other Skeeve-faces. Something hit me on the shoulder. It was Melvine.

"Go on," he whispered in my ear. "Get out of here while the going's good! See you around! I owe you. We all do."

I didn't hesitate a second.

BAMF!

Safely back in the i

Bu

"This has been a Deveelishly Handsome Production."

"You did a good job," Bu

I dropped my eyes modestly. "I have to admit, I think I did all right for my first big teaching job."

"Your first?" Tananda asked. "You're going to do it again?"

"No!" I protested. "I mean—that's not what I mean—well, maybe," I added wistfully. "It was kind of fun. And I'd know more of what to do and what not to do in the future."

"That reminds me," Bu

All three women looked at me expectantly.

Sheepishly, I took a sip from my glass. "That's one of the things I haven't really learned how to do yet."