Class Dis-Mythed

"All right," I said, coming to a halt under the largest tree on the hill. "You've got a list of twelve things. Find them all, and get them down there," I pointed to the spit of land poking out into the glittering sea. "Go for it." I sat down against the tree trunk with my hands behind my head. I had a great view of the whole test area.

The challenge was a simple one. All of the items were brightly colored and in plain sight. The Sear natives had promised to keep from moving them until one of my students came within a couple of paces, and then they had to give a sporting chance, not dragging the item underground right away.

The other thing I had not told my class was that the natives had a very high body temperature. Freezia learned it the hard way when she spotted the first item, a bright blue cylinder. She and Bee noticed it at the same time. In spite of the Cantrip, Bee wasn't as fast on his feet as the graduate student. She dove for the cylinder, only to have it scoot from under her fingertips. Quickly, she brought the other hand smashing down, capturing the object. She plucked the tiny red Sear off the bottom of it.

"Ow!" she cried, dropping it. "They're hot!"

The little being, deprived of its shade, grabbed for the next nearest thing, Freezia's backpack. It started pulling at the strap with surprising strength. Freezia pulled back. Bee laughed at the sight of a full-grown Pervect having a tug-of-war with a creature a mere fraction of her size.

"What are you laughing at, you dolt?" she asked. "No, don't do that!"

The Sear, unable to take the backpack, crawled along the strap and wriggled inside. Freezia threw open the flap and began to excavate its contents, trying to find the intruder.

As her things began to hit the ground, more red dots came swarming up. They latched onto each item and began to drag them away. The Pervect suddenly looked up and saw her possessions disappearing.

"My compact!" Freezia shrieked, crawling after the nearest Sear. It was carrying a gold disk.

"Time!" I shouted. You don't have time! You already spent twenty minutes finding the first part!"

"I want it back! It's a Goochy San Cha

"You can get it later!"

She ignored me. The Sear vanished into a crack in the ground. She started picking away at the edge.

"Oh, my manicure!" she wailed as a chip of orange polish went flying. Furious, she pointed a broken fingernail at the earth. "Cavata!"

Stones and dirt began to scatter upward. She uncovered the gold disk, only to see it slip into another fissure. "No! You little thief!" The dirt flew faster. She disappeared behind the spray.

In the confusion, she had forgotten all about the cylinder. Bee picked it up and put it in his belt pouch, and went in search of the next item on the list.

With a full complement of magik under his belt, Melvine took to the air. With a pleased grin, he descended toward the spot where I had planted a folded yellow sheet. The look of alarm that crossed his face told me that the natives had appeared. They were going to beat him to it. Melvine whipped up a curlicue of wind and made it whisk around the circumference of the sheet to drive them back. I was glad to see him conserving energy.

Tolk found a bundle of bright green sticks. When he stooped to pick them up in his teeth, a native attached itself to his collar. When Tolk trotted away, his collar fell off. It started to bury itself in sand.

"Thass mine!" he exclaimed around his mouthful. He stood transfixed, staring at the swiftly disappearing neckwear. He opened his mouth to let go of the struts, then clapped his jaw shut.

"Uh-huh, you're no' go'a cash me gha' way," he said. He started digging furiously with his front paws, tossing hot sand in every direction. The collar surfaced briefly. Tolk tossed his head, and the neckpiece levitated.

But the natives had magik of their own, and they outnumbered him. He couldn't keep it in the air. He plunged forward to capture it in his paws, but it disappeared into the dirt.

"Da'!" he swore.

He trotted down to the headland and deposited his mouthful beside the cylinder Bee had already placed there. He saw me watching him, and shook his head furiously.

"My mother gave me that collar!"

I threw him a regretful shrug.

"Give that back!" I heard Melvine yell. I sprang up. The Cupy was halfway down the hill beyond a dry gully. He pointed a finger at a clump of dirt. The clump exploded upward. "No! Give it to me. Give it back!" Boom! He tracked his minute opponents to another clump, and blew that one up, too.

"Melvine! Don't waste energy!" I yelled. "You haven't got four hours to hike back to the force line!"

"They stole my blankie!" Melvine howled, his baby face screwing up in a knot. "I want it back!"

"Trade them for it!"

"I don't want to! I want my blankie!" He sat down heavily on the ground. "This isn't fun any more!"

By evening, only Jinetta of the three Pervects still had her backpack. The contents of Bee's field pack had been depleted considerably by the natives. Melvine kept patting his pockets to make sure none of his other possessions had gone missing. Every time we heard a rustle in the grass, all six of my students jumped.

When I called time, they staggered up the hill to where I was waiting. They looked tired and dejected.

"Let's get the camp set up for the night," I said. "I've got three tents here. The big one is for you ladies. The men and I will share the other two. When they're up, we'll make di

"Stay in a tent?" Jinetta asked disdainfully. "Why not go back to the i

"Because," I explained patiently, yet once again, "this is a test of your practical skills. You may never sleep outside again, but you're going to try it for one night."

"But it's inconvenient," Freezia said.

"Yes, it is," I said cheerfully. "Well, the tents won't put themselves up!"

"Sure they will," Melvine said. He aimed a thumb at the nearest bundle of canvas and string. The stiff arrangement of sheets animated, billowing out to the correct shape. Pleased with himself, Melvine relaxed his spell. The tent promptly collapsed.

"I'll help you," Corporal Bee said, starting toward the puzzled Cupy. "You forgot to put up the tent poles—"

I put a hand in his chest and pushed him back.

"Let him solve the problem," I said. "You can help me get the campfire going."

"Yes, sir, I mean, Skeeve."

"I know how to do it," Pologne said. "I reached the rank of Tracker in the Perv Scouts." She marched over to the next folded tent and started to take it apart. Melvine pretended not to care, but I could see him shooting furtive glances in her direction to see how she did it.

"What do we do about…?" Jinetta whispered in her friend's ear.

Pologne turned to me. "I don't suppose you have a shovel, do you?"

Jinetta immediately added two and two together.

"You're kidding," she exclaimed.

"Nope," I said. "No chamber pots out here. No flush toilets. Just the basics: you and a hole in the ground."

Freezia wore a meditative expression. "I suppose we could blink the you-know-what away."

"Don't waste power," I said firmly. "It won't kill you to use primitive means for one night."

"Yes," Pologne said. "I have done it."

"Me, too," Bee put in.

"Who cares about you?" Jinetta said, rolling her eyes.

In spite of the Pervects' disdain, Bee generously lent the camping equipment in his gigantic field pack for the others to use. Jinetta and Freezia disappeared over the ridge of the hill, and returned looking relieved but chagrined.

"That was disgusting" Jinetta was saying. "This had better help us a lot."

Fortunately, Jinetta's pack contained enough camp rations for all three Pervects. I had to grin at the expressions on the faces of the other three students as she ripped open a packet and dumped purple and brown lumps into a big dish.