Phule's Company

After an awkward few moments had passed, the colonel resumed the discussion.

"Now, what we need to consider before reaching our verdict is not only that Phule-Proof Munitions is the largest arms manufacturer and distributor in the galaxy, not to mention the current supplier of arms and munitions for the Space Legion, but also that it is the largest single employer of Legio

"Excuse me, Colonel, but didn't I read somewhere that the lieutenant and his father were on the outs?"

Colonel Battleax fixed the captain with her coldest stare. "Possibly. Still, family is family, and I'm not sure I'd want to bet on how the father would react if we threw his only son into the stockade for a few years. Then, too, assuming the lieutenant eventually inherits the company, I wouldn't relish going to him for a job when I retired... not if I was one of the ones who sentenced him to jail."

"It would be a lot easier if he just resigned," Major Joshua muttered darkly as he mulled over this new development.

"True," the colonel said, unruffled. "But he didn't... and you know Legion regulations as well as I do. We can level any kind of punishment we want on a Legio

"Maybe if the sentence was rough enough, he'd resign rather than accept it," Captain Humpty suggested hopefully.

"Perhaps, but I wouldn't count on it. I, for one, don't like to bluff if I'm not willing to live with the consequences if it's called. "

"Well, we've got to do something to him," the major said. "After all the coverage he's gotten from the media, we'd look silly if we didn't make an example of him."

"Perhaps." The colonel smiled tightly.

Major Joshua scowled. "What do you mean by that... sir?"

"I mean it wouldn't be the first time a Legio

"You aren't seriously suggesting that we let him off scotfree, are you?" the captain broke in. "After what he's done? I don't favor ignoring-"

"I wasn't suggesting we let the lieutenant escape unscathed," Colonel Battleax interrupted hastily. "I merely think that in this particular situation, it might be wisest if we considered some alternatives to confinement in the stockade for punishment. Perhaps we could find a new assignment for our misfit... a tour sufficiently unpleasant that it would leave no doubt in his or anyone else's mind as to the opinion this court has of his little Wild West show."

The officers lapsed into silence then, as they searched their minds of a posting that would fill their needs.

"If he were a captain," the major said to himself, breaking the silence, "we could ship him off to the Omega crew."

"What was that, Major?" The colonel's voice was suddenly sharp.

Joshua blinked as if waking from a dream, jolted into remembering that the court president was from Headquarters.

"I... Nothing, sir. Just thinking out loud."

"Did I hear you say something about an Omega Company?"

"Sir?"

"Do you know anything about this, Captain?"

"About what, sir?" Captain Humpty said, mentally cursing the major's loose tongue.

The colonel swept both men with an icy glare before speaking again.

"Gentlemen, let me remind you that I've been in the Legion twice as long as either of you. I'm neither blind nor stupid, and I'll thank you not to treat me as if I were."

The other two court members squirmed uncomfortably, like schoolboys in a principal's office, as she continued.

"The Space Legion is smaller and less glamorous than the Regular Army, more like security guards than an actual fighting force. We don't enjoy the advantage they have of fielding units made up entirely of soldiers from one planet, hence our policy of accepting all applicants, no questions asked.

"Now, I know this policy has always caused problems for field officers such as yourselves. Despite our loose discipline and regulations, there are always those who don't fit neatly into military life-misfits or losers, depending on how polite you want to be when describing them. I'm also aware that, in direct disregard for standing orders regarding the treatment of Legio

Her forefinger began to tap impatiently on the table.

"I am aware of all this, gentlemen, and now I'm asking you bluntly: Is there an Omega Company currently operating in the Legion?"

Confronted by the direct question, the other officers had little choice but to respond, and respond truthfully. Honesty was a primary requirement within the Legion (it didn't matter much what you told outsiders, but you weren't supposed to lie to your own), and while field officers were masters of half-truths and omissions, this particular approach left little maneuvering room... which was why the colonel used it.

"Ummm..." Major Humpty farbled, searching for words to sugarcoat the confession. "There is a company that seems to be drawing more than its share of... Legio

"Losers and problem cases," the colonel cut in. "Let's call a spade a spade, Major. Where is it?"

"Haskin's Planet, sir."

"Haskin's Planet?" The Battleax scowled. "I don't believe I'm familiar with that one."

"It's name after the biologist who explored the swamp there prior to settlement," Captain Joshua supplied helpfully.

"Oh yes. The contract with the swamp miners. So that's the current dumping ground, eh?"

Humpty nodded curtly, relieved that the senior officer seemed to be taking the news so calmly.

"The CO... the commanding officer there has been consistently... lax in screening his transfers..."

"And in everything else, as I recall," the colonel added grimly. "Lax... I like that. There may be a future for you in media relations, Major. Please continue."

"Actually the situation may correct itself without Headquarters intervening," the captain said, hoping to evade the stigma of having betrayed their fellow officers to Headquarters. "Scuttlebutt has it that the CO's tour is over soon, and no one expects him to reenlist. A new CO will probably put a stop to things out of self-preservation."

"Maybe... maybe not."

"If you're worried about reallocating the... problem cases," the major put in hastily, "I'm sure normal attrition will-"

"I was thinking about our problem of sentencing Lieutenant Scaramouche," the colonel interrupted dryly. "If you'll recall, that is the subject of our discussion."

"Yes... of course." Humpty was relieved but surprised at the apparent change in subject.

"What I was about to say," Battleax continued, "was that in light of this new information, I think Major Humpty's earlier suggestion has a certain degree of merit to it. "

It took the other officers a moment to follow her train of thought. When they did, they were understandably taken aback.

"What? You mean transfer him to the Omegas?" Captain Joshua said.

"Why not? As I just pointed out, Omega Companies are a fact of life in the Legion. While Headquarters generally disbands them as being too easy a solution for our problems, at times they have their purposes... and it seems to me this is one of those times."