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fired smart?"
I started to rebuke my bodyguard, but slowly his
words sank in. That was a good question! Aahz was
strong ... I mean STRONG! By rights he should have
been able to rip the stone teeth out of the window all by
himself. What was keeping him here?
"Oh, I'm having so much fun in here I just couldn't
bear to leave," Aahz barked back. "I'm in here because
I can't get out, that's why. What's more, if any of you
have any ideas about how to get me out, I think now's a
real good time to share them with the rest of us."
"Wait a minute, Aahz," I said. "Why can't you get
out... and how did they catch you in the first place?"
"I was framed," my partner retorted, but I noticed
his voice was a bit more subdued.
"We already know that." Impressed. "What I want to
know is why you didn't just bust a few heads and sprint
for home? You've never been particularly respectful of
local authority before."
To my surprise, Aahz actually looked embarrassed.
"I was drugged," he said in a disgusted tone. "They
put something in my drink, and the next thing I knew I
had a stake and mallet in my hands and a room full of
officials. Whatever it was they used, it kept me groggy
all the way through the trial... I mean I couldn't walk
straight, much less defend myself coherently, and after
that I was in/we!"
"The old Mickey Fi
ing our entire formation. "I'm surprised someone as
off-worldly as you could get caught by such a corny
stunt."
"Yeah. It surprised me, too!" Aahz admitted. "I
mean, that gag is so old, who would really expect any-
one to try it at all?"
"Only if you figured the mark was louder than he was
smart," Guido sneered.
"Is that so!" my partner snapped, ready to renew
their old rivalry. "Well, when I get out of here, you and
me can...."
104 Robert Asprin
"Stop it, you two," I ordered. "Right now the
problem is to get us all out of here before the balloon
goes up ... no offense, Massha. Now spill, Aahz.
What's so special about this cell that's keeping you bot-
tled up?"
My partner heaved a great sigh.
"Take another look at it, Skeeve. A close look."
I did. It still looked the same to me: a tower room in
the shape of a dragon's head.
"Yeah. Okay. So?"
"So remember where we are. This thing was built to
hold vampire criminals. You know, beings with super-
human strength that can change into mist?"
My gaze flew back to the dragon's head.
"I don't get it," I admitted. "How can any stone cell
hold beings like that?"
"That's the point." Aahz winced. "A stone cell
can't This thing is made of living stone. If whoever's
inside tries to bust out, it swallows them. If they try to
turn into mist, it inhales them."
"You mean...."
"Now you're getting the picture."
He flashed his toothy grin at me despite his obvious
depression.
"The cell is alive!"
Startled by this revelation, I looked at the tower top
cell again. As if it had been waiting for the right cue, the
dragon's head opened its eyes and looked at me.