Ecstasy

He pulls me apart, looks past me as he says, “Use her while you still can.”

Alex wouldn’t know. He wouldn’t know that there’s a warning laced in those words. “While you still can”. Alex probably thinks that’s because I won’t be any good to him after this.

What he doesn’t know is Eli doesn’t care who I’ve been with. Eli doesn’t give a fuck about things like that.

It’s not just a warning to Alex.

It’s to me.

My heart flips in my chest. I wonder if this is a bad idea. I want it, but what happens after this? What happens in the morning? What happens to me? Alex?

Alex doesn’t say a word. I keep my eyes on Eli. Watch him watching Alex. See the stubble on his face. The curve of his Cupid’s bow. The dusty rose color of his lips. Those long fucking lashes.

God, I want to ride him, but he’s gripping my hips so hard, like he wants me to stay still. And then the bed shifts, and Eli looks back up at me. He runs his thumb over my hip bone, and I know what he’s feeling.

I know he knows what he’s doing. He doesn’t smirk as Alex drops to his knees behind me. He doesn’t tease me with his eyes or taunt me with cruel words. He just holds my gaze like he sees me.

Because he does.

And when Alex’s cock brushes against me, and I suck in a sharp breath, Eli says, “It’s okay, baby girl. Just relax,” in such a quiet, soothing voice I just want to...I just want to sink into him. Sink against his chest and let him touch me and love me and—

“Arch your back more.” Alex’s voice. Cold and impassive. Like they’ve switched. Hot and cold, I don’t know which one’s which anymore.

But I do as Alex says.

His fingers come to either side of my lips, stretching me wider. And he can see everything. It’s nothing he hasn’t seen before but this way, like this...

Again, I think this might not be a good idea. This is incredibly fucking stupid. My mind is getting in the way of how I feel physically, ruining this for me. Like a hamster on a wheel, my brain keeps thinking of all the ways this might go wrong.

Fuck, I’m an idiot.

Eli keeps one hand on my ass and jerks my chin with the other, forcing me to look down at him. “Hey,” he says softly as Alex puts a hand flat on my back and starts to press himself against me. “You’re here. Right here. Don’t think, Zara.” He pulls my face down to him, so my lips are hovering above his. “Don’t think,” he repeats softly, and his words touch my mouth. “Just feel.”

And then Alex is pushing into me and everything...burns. It’s tight and uncomfortable and it hurts and...

“Just feel,” Eli says again as I throw my head back, arching my neck and my back as Alex keeps pushing and pushing and just as I think my eyes are going to roll back in my head and I might black out and I don’t know if it’s from pain or pleasure...he’s in.

He’s as far in as he’s going to get, and his chest falls against my back as he fucks me and Eli starts to move too, beneath me.

Both of them are inside of me is nearly too much and I’m too tight and too full and yet...

It’s everything. It’s fucking everything. Especially as Eli trails his hand down my throat and reaches between us, his fingers circling my clit. My i

“Fuck,” he says against my skin. “Fuck you feel so good, Za. You’re so fucking tight. You’re so fucking good.”

They fuck me together, and Eli keeps circling my clit with his fingers, he keeps gripping my ass with one hand. The three of us are a sweaty, panting mess and Alex is still groaning and I’m moaning so loud I know people can hear me.

Kaitlyn will hear me. Us.

I know it and I don’t care.

I don’t care.

When Alex’s hand comes around my throat and his tongue is against my ear and then he’s actually all the way in, all the way inside of me and Eli is too, I just don’t care. I don’t fucking care.

I just want them. I just want this.

“Fuck, I love you,” Alex pants against my ear. “I fucking—I fucking love you,” his words are groans, and his fingers tighten around my throat as he fucks me harder and beneath me, Eli pinches and pulls my nipples and he fucks me, too. They’re both moving so fast and so hard I almost feel as if they’re competing. As if they’re trying to see who can break me first.

And maybe I shouldn’t be, but I’m turned on all the more for it and when I feel myself getting close, they must feel it too.

Eli cups my face with his hand. “I like feeling him fuck you against me,” he tells me as Alex does just that, every thrust driving me further against Eli. Eli’s hand is still between us, still circling me and I’m so close. “I like feeling you nearly get fucking ripped apart.”

God, I’m so close.

Eli likes it. Alex hates it. But Alex just told me he loves me. He just told me, so maybe he doesn’t.

Maybe he likes this, too.

Maybe he likes what I like.

“Come on, baby,” Alex says in my ear. His grip tightens on my throat so hard I’m no longer moaning because I’m no longer breathing. “Come for me. Come all over us for me. You’re a nasty fucking whore, but you’re my whore. You’re mine.”

And then Eli’s hand comes beside Alex’s and they’re both choking me, covering every inch of my throat. And everything is exploding in shades of grey and black behind my eyes and Eli’s other hand is between my legs, his fingers slick and wet against my swollen clit.

Just like when Eli was holding me under, just like when he almost killed me that night, I’m dying for air, but I can’t stop it. My body can’t stop it. I clench around both of them, everything so tight and so full.

They keep their hands on my throat but loosen their grip and I’m moaning, my forehead against Eli’s chest, slick with sweat, and his hand still between us.

And then Alex is tense against my back, grabbing at my neck, his teeth against my shoulder and I know he’s coming, too. The both of us, together, all over Eli.

But Eli isn’t done.

He brings his hand up, the reverberations of my orgasm still throbbing between my legs so that I don’t even need anyone to touch me there. It’s like I can still feel it. And I’m still gasping for air when Eli puts his fingers in his mouth, licking me off him.

I pick my head up, watching him, and behind me, Alex slowly slides out of me. My hands are on Eli’s chest as I stare down at him still tasting me.

The bed dips and I don’t know if Alex gets up, and I don’t care either.

I can’t stop staring at Eli. I’m still breathing hard, still caught up in the feeling of coming around both of them, I can’t really think. I don’t know what Eli wants now. I don’t know how he wants to finish this but, he moves quickly.

One second I’m on top of him, gasping, and the next, he’s flipped us both over and he’s on top of me. For a crazy moment, I imagine him wrestling. I think about how fast he must be. How strong he is.

How hot he probably looks on the mat.

And then he’s kissing me again, the taste of me on his lips, and all of those thoughts are gone. The only thing I can think of is now is the taste of him, the feel of him as he reaches between us and guides himself back into me.

I’m sore, and it hurts, and he doesn’t go slow. He’s hard and fast and rough and I whimper, and it isn’t a good sound.

“Hey,” Alex calls sharply from somewhere beyond the bed, somewhere I can’t see. “Be fucking careful with her.” I hear the restraint in his words. I know he doesn’t want Eli to finish at all. I know Alex doesn’t care about that, but Eli doesn’t slow.