Flock

SEAN SLEEPS NEXT TO ME, passing out just minutes after his head hit the pillow. I lie in his hold restless, my thoughts ru

This could cost me my future.

One misstep, being implicated in any of their shady dealings could cost me my life.

Is becoming tangled up with them worth it?

What kind of future can we have?

This isn’t a phase for them that they’ll outgrow, this is their way of life. Their purpose. Do I want to be anchored to it by a relationship that may or may not work out?

It’s insane, this decision, this choice. One I never thought in a million years I would be faced with.

It distorts the natural order of things. This is a no picket fence life.

But somewhere, deep down I knew, I knew something was off—way off and clearly dangerous. I just didn’t realize how off, how dangerous. In a delusional way, I assumed it wouldn’t affect me.

The more I fall, the more entangled I become, and if I’m not careful, if I don’t choose out, I’ll be shackled in by new secrets.

But I’m leaving. In a year, I am leaving. That’s a definite. I’m not going to skip college or throw away my chances at a higher education for anyone.

How much can really happen in a year?

Tyler’s words the day we met come into mind.

“Crazy where a day can take you, huh? That’s nothing unusual around here.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” I whisper into Sean’s hair. I need to sleep on this. My decision doesn’t have to be made today. I can distance myself until I’ve made it. I’ve got the willpower.

Liar.

I run my fingers through Sean’s hair, and he groans lightly in his sleep in thanks, making me smile.

Sleep evades me, and I untangle from Sean and toss the covers off when I hear the distinct sound of an engine pull up in the drive. Padding down the stairs I find Dominic at the kitchen table, wrestling a small plastic-wrapped package with a freshly uncapped beer next to it.

“Is it broken?”

He looks up from where he sits, eyes sweeping me before getting back to his task. I approach him and take the thick gauze from his hand and gently examine his injury. Both his wrist and hand are twice their normal size.

“Ouch. Could be broken.”

“I can bend it.”

“You okay?”

“Shitty night,” he grabs his beer from the table and takes a long pull.

“Where’s Tyler?” I ask, starting on his bandage.

“He’s indisposed.”

“Did something else happen?”

“He’s good. Business as usual.”

“Just a party, right?” I can feel his eyes on me as I carefully layer the material snuggly against his skin. “Tell me if it’s too tight.”

“Why are you going along with this?”

I pause and meet his silvery depths, which threaten to pull me under and dart my eyes away. When I make my decision, I need to be far away from the two distractions that will only make it harder to step away. “I’m not sure if I am yet.”

“I didn’t think you were the type.”

“I’m not, it’s just as surprising to me, if you want the truth.”

“Always.”

One side of my mouth lifts as I carefully wrap his wrist and hand. “Says the deviant liar.”

“Some people can’t handle the truth,” he drains the rest of his beer. “It’s best to let them count sheep.”

“Always so cryptic.”

“You’re smart enough to decipher truth from fiction.”

I pause my hands. “I’m not so sure after tonight, but that’s a rare compliment coming from you.”

“I don’t let my dick get in the way of my judgment.”

Our gazes hold for long seconds as I draw more conclusions. They both made the decision to bring me in tonight. Together. It has nothing to do with our sexual relationship. The feelings that stir because of that make my heart sing.

“You can trust me,” I say, securing the metal teeth on the bandage.

“It’s a lot to ask.”

“So is keeping your secrets.”

“You don’t know my secrets.”

“I know what I think I know, and that’s plenty.”

“And what do you think you know?”

The last few hours I’ve been staring at Sean’s ceiling sorting through his subtle teachings of the last six weeks. He incorporated the ‘club’s’ beliefs into our courting and did so in the most effective of ways, spoon-feeding me until I knew what they collectively stood for, without directly coming out and saying it.

“That you’re high up in an organization of backroads’ misfits who do bad deeds to carry out good ones.”

I’m not at all surprised when my answer is silence.

“So, what happens now?”

He reads my question, and it has nothing to do with tonight’s discovery.

“I’m not Sean.”

“Meaning?”

“I don’t do these talks.” He drains his beer as I secure the teeth a little tighter on his bandage. “But I could use a shower.” I’m not sure what he’s implying. He clearly needs my help undressing due to the injury, but I’m unwilling to go any further until I figure out what I need to.

He stands and awkwardly grabs another beer from the fridge. He uses the edge of the counter to pop off the cap and downs it like water before moving toward the stairs, and timidly I follow. Once inside his room, I glance around taking advantage of the peek into his world. Hundreds of books line the shelves next to his fully loaded space station with giant monitors. Next to it on a small table are three charging laptops. The pained grunt echoing from the next room deters me from taking more of a curious look around, and I meet him where he stands in the bathroom toeing off his boots. He bends to rip his sock off and loses his footing, his beer bottle clinking against the counter as he tries to brace himself. I laugh, steadying his hips with my hands, and between our efforts, he remains upright. He gives me a lazy half-smile, his eyes going glassy. “Fuck, my left hand really needs my right.”

“I’m sure the alcohol you sucked down didn’t help. We should have iced it first,” I free him from his other sock.

“It can wait until morning.”

“It really shouldn’t.”

“Cecelia,” he expels a breath that’s more like a plea, and I concede. I’m just as exhausted and wish my mind would let me sleep.

Moving in behind him, I unfasten his ski

“Thank you. I’m good now. If you want to go.”

The touch is sensual, sweet, and in reply, I lift my T-shirt off. His eyes flare as he drinks me in bare. It’s our first time being alone and naked since we had sex, and I can’t tear my eyes away. But I have to, so I turn my back on him and rest my head in the crook of his shoulder as the water warms. Once it’s ready, he releases me, and we step inside. I tilt the faucet head, so most of the water pours over his body. I’ve already had my shower.

With another man, Cecelia. His roommate and best friend.

This ca