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CHAPTER 34
je
She didn't know how long she sat there, staring at nothing, as somber thoughts glided unceasingly through her mind. In his unrelenting effort to get to her, Richard Rahl had taken Je
Ever since Althea had told her about Drefan, Je
It had been her hope that it would. That hope was dead. Richard Rahl had killed Drefan. Richard Rahl would surely kill her when he found her. And he would find her. She knew that, now. Really knew it. He would find her.
Je
A mad torrent of thoughts cascaded through her mind, everything from hope to despair, terror to rage.
Tu vash misht. Tu vask misht. Grushdeva du kalt misht.
The voice, too, was there, beyond the churning thoughts, beyond the turmoil of emotions, beyond the jumble of disorder, whispering to her in those strangely seductive words.
In the end, all other thoughts melted away in the glowing heat of her anger.
Je
She had tried everything else. She had no options left. The Lord Rahl had cut her off from any other hope. She had no choice.
She knew what she had to do, now.
Je
Shivering with the cold, or maybe the enormity of what she had decided, she knocked gently on the door to the last cabin. Sebastian pulled the door in enough to see it was her, and then, quickly, opened it to admit her. She hurried in though the opening, into the firelight and cocoon of warmth. Delicious heat embraced her.
Sebastian was without a shirt. By his clean scent and the towel thrown over his shoulder, she realized that she must have caught him at the washbowl. He had probably filled a washbowl in her cabin, too, though she hadn't noticed.
Concern creased Sebastian's brow as he stood, posture tense, waiting to see what had brought her there. Je
"I intend to kill Richard Rahl."
He studied her face, accepting her determined words calmly, as if he had known all along that she would someday come to see the inescapable need. He remained silent, waiting to hear the rest of what she had to say.
"I know, now, that you were right," she said. "I have to eliminate him or I'll never be safe. I'll never be free to live my own life. I'm the only one to do it-the one who must do it."
She didn't tell him why it had to be her.
His hand came up to grip her upper arm. His intense gaze never left hers. "It will be difficult getting near such a man in order to do as you must. I've told you that we have sorceresses with the emperor, sorceresses fighting to end the reign of Lord Rahl. Let me take you to them, first."
Je
"Do you think these women could help me with what you said-magic used to end magic. Do you think they might be able to provide me with the means to go after him?"
Sebastian nodded. "I wouldn't suggest it if I didn't. I know the destructive power of the magic on Lord Rahl's side-I've seen it with my own eyes-and I know how our sorceresses have been able to help us fight back. Magic can't do it all, but I think they can provide valuable help."
Je
A small smile curved the line of his mouth.
"But know this," she added. "With or without their help, I intend to kill Richard Rahl. If I must go alone and bare-handed, I intend to kill him. I will not rest until I do, because I have no life until I kill him-by his choice, not mine. I'm at the end of ru
"I understand. I will take you to our sorceresses, then."
"How far do you think it is to the Old World? Until we can reach them?"
"We won't be going to the Old World for now. In the morning we'll need to start looking for a pass to the west, over the mountains. We have to begin looking for a way into the Midlands."
Je
Sebastian's expression twisted with a sly smile. "No. We ca
"I had no idea. Have you known all along that Emperor Jagang would try something so bold?"
Sebastian half laughed. "I'm his strategist."
Je
He dismissed her wide-eyed astonishment. "Emperor Jagang came to the rule of the Old World because he is a genius. He had two alternatives in this, two different recommendations-to attack the Midlands, or to attack D'Hara first. Brother Narev advised that right is on our side, and that the Creator would grant us victory either way, so he had no preference, no military advice to offer.
"The emperor himself already had the goal of Aydindril in mind, though he kept silent on it until he heard the recommendations. My recommendation decided it for him. Emperor Jagang does not always use my strategy, but I was pleased that in this he saw what I saw-that taking the city and palace of Lord Rahl's wife would not only be a momentous military victory, but will also strike a great blow at our enemy's very heart.»
Je
"You don't think the emperor may have taken the Confessor's Palace by now?"
"No," he said with certainty. "We will not waste our brave men trying to take such an important objective until the weather is with us. We will seize Aydindril in the spring, when this wretched winter is over. I think we can yet reach them in time to be there for the great event."
Je
In the crackling firelight, it seemed a remarkable night in more ways than one. The world was changing and she was going to be a part of it. She had changed this night, too.
The fire was warm on the side of her face. She realized that she had never seen Sebastian without a shirt. She liked the sight.
His other hand came up to gently grasp her other arm. "Emperor Jagang will like to meet you."
"Me? But, I'm no one important."
"Oh, yes, Je
"Brother Narev.
Je
Without Sebastian, none of it would be possible. He was such a remarkable man-everything from his wonderful blue eyes and his exotic spikes of white hair, to his handsome smile and extraordinary intellect.
"Since you had a hand in pla
Even though Sebastian seemed as modest as always, she still thought she saw a spark of pride in his eyes, but then he turned serious. "When we meet with the emperor, you mustn't be alarmed by what you see."
"What do you mean?"
"Emperor Jagang has been marked by the Creator with eyes that see more than ordinary men can see. Foolish people are frightened by his looks. I wanted to forewarn you. You mustn't be frightened of such a great man simply because he looks different."