Garden of Sins

Oh, no, bro, that is not all! I hit him in the side repeatedly. “You want to fuck with me?” I ask. “You’ve been fucking with me too long!”

Still furious, I straighten up a bit and press my knee against his chest, making him gasp and cough again. I know I could kill him right now I simply have to press hard enough.

“Come on,” he croaks. “Do it, Carter, it’s what you want.”

I clench my jaw, slowly press my knee deeper into his sternum, and hear it crack.

With his eyes closed, he rears his back up and groans in agony.

“CARTER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU ARE KILLING HIM! GET OFF HIM!” Alayna screams behind me. My head whips over my shoulder and I see her rushing through the rain in our direction.

“Fuck off!” Caden hisses at her.

Melissa grabs Alayna’s arm. “Don’t get involved.”

“HE IS KILLING HIM! NO!” Alayna shoves Melissa away with a sweeping arm and storms towards us. “Caden!” she screams and the desperation in her voice pierces me. Fuck, what am I doing? Why am I doing this? Why am I so fucked up? Why can’t either of us just be normal?

“FUCK, get off!” Alayna yells frantically and shoves me hard to the side so that I flinch a bit.

Fuck, she’s right. Fuck! I have to stop. I’m going to kill him. And he’s my brother! What the fuck am I doing?

Abruptly, I take my hands off Caden and I pull myself up. Immediately, Alayna kneels next to him as I walk backward completely rigid without taking my eyes off him.

“Carter.” I hear his hoarse voice, but I only shake my head stubbornly.

Fuck, I almost killed him. It’s never been this bad before.

“Don’t do it,” he gasps and the rain pours down on him and Alayna. Don’t do what? Lose my mind? I’m losing my mind right now and Caden knows it. Shit, I have to get out of here. Everything inside me is urging me away from here.

So, I turn away with a jerk.

“Fuck, Carter!” Caden yells after me, but I stomp towards the car. I can still see my sister making a phone call under the canopy. Nice! She’s probably calling Dad. And I don’t give a shit. I have to get out of here, just get away.

Fuck everything.

“Fuck!” I yell again and I still have so much inside me. So much rage. So much hate. Too much of everything and I don’t know if I’ll ever be rid of it.

* * *

Still completely rigid and paralyzed I sit in the car. The howling hypocrite next to me is still crying.

She does not speak. That’s a damn good thing because one wrong sound and I’d pull my gun out of the glove box and kill her. Put a hole right through that pretty little face.

WHORE!

I’m soaking wet and my cracked knuckles sting as I race across the wet road at breakneck speed.

I see my father’s car approaching just as fast and accelerate so that he doesn’t get the idea to stop me. At the moment, I can’t guarantee anything. Melissa lives dangerously next to me. And maybe not for long.

TRAMP!

She plays with her hands in her lap and sniffs. She sniffs. That whore. She sniffs!

“So?” I utter harshly as my speedometer reaches ninety in town. Great. Terrific. I hope I am pulled over so I can beat up some cops. My dad will get me out or someone else will. “How was his dick in your mouth, Melissa?”

She rubs her forehead, then her wet hair, messing up my leather. That bitch.

“Carter, you know...”

“What?” I cut her off. “Are you looking for someone else to blame for your fate? Did he force you? Did he put a spell on you? Is he a vampire or an all-powerful magician? Melissa? WHAT? Say it,” I snap at her.

SLUT!

She takes a shaky breath and blinks at me oh-so-afraid. I’m about to rip open the door and shove her out of the speeding car so that she breaks all her bones.

“You know how he can be. He makes these moves, looks at me a certain way, and changes his voice. Then it’s like a switch in my head flips. I didn’t want to, not at all,” she says, trying to convince me, this bitch.

I accelerate. “I don’t know,” I reply drily. “Maybe you just love his cock in your mouth. Maybe you love playing the shy little girl because you know how I’ll react. Maybe you’re just a cheap little whore. You whore,” I spit out.

“Carter,” she cries in shock and furrows her brows. I hate her and I hate Caden, and I hate my parents because they gave birth to us. I especially hate that shitty traffic light that turned red, but I push down on the gas pedal even harder. FUCK IT!

“Carter!” the bitch next to me screams. “You’re going to kill us!”

“That would be nice, wouldn’t it? You wouldn’t have to justify anything anymore!” I yell and slap the steering wheel. “YOU NEVER HAVE TO JUSTIFY ANYTHING! YOU JUST HAVE TO CRY AND SAY: HE DID THIS AND HE DID THAT AND I JUST BELIEVE YOU, DON’T I, MELISSA?”

She cringes because I am yelling at her. I have never yelled at her before. But she’s as much a little whore as the next, like all the women and people around me! Goddammit!

“Carter, I love you,” she insists, and in a moment, she’ll have the back of my hand across her face if she doesn’t stop.

“Sure,” I snort. “Caden loves Alayna too. Look at what he did. And with who.” I look at her disparagingly. “I hope it was worth it to him because you’re not worth it, you fucking bitch!”

I accelerate into a deadly curve on the highway.

Melissa screams and holds on to the handle above her. I still want to push her out of the moving car so that she breaks all her bones.

“Shut the fuck up,” I warn her. “Stop screaming!”

She claws harder and breathes frantically. I want to take her breath away forever. I don’t want her to be so dramatic.

“I swear, Carter! I didn’t mean to do it! He manipulated me! You know exactly how he does it,” she cries, pleading. FUCKING DRAMA QUEEN!

“It’s only easy when part of your brain wants to participate, Melissa. It’s as simple as that. Do you believe me when I tell you I’ve noticed over the last few days that you can resist all that shit? If you want to, you fucking bitch!”

She shakes her head frantically. “I’m not as strong as she is.” She’s really not. She’s pathetic.

“You’re not,” I confirm with disgust. “And that is why I don’t want to see you around me or my family anymore. Next time, you’ll eat a bullet, Melissa. I won’t give a shit then. Stay away from me. This is my last warning. If you disobey it, I promise your life will get even shittier.” Maybe I should just drop her off with the hookers. That’s where she belongs, apparently.

“Carter!” she whispers hoarsely, but her voice no longer affects me. Nothing touches me anymore. I am completely deaf.

“Go to hell, Melissa.” With a jerk, I fly into a rest stop. My monster is not interested in tears or protecting anyone. My monster doesn’t care how she gets home or if someone fucking rapes her. I am so lucky to have this monster. Nobody can fuck with me like this. Not if I don’t want to be fucked.

“Get out,” I growl faintly when I stop in front of a motel in the middle of the highway.

Her mouth opens and she looks around, irritated. “What?”

“Get the fuck out of my car, you fucking bitch,” I hiss and lean over her, trying not to touch that disgusting bitch.

Clumsily, I open the door and nod. “Get the fuck out of my car. Never call me again. You can die standing at your window waiting for me, I won’t be back, and you would do well to stay away too!” If I see her again, I’ll kill her.