Garden of Sins

I sigh theatrically. “Alayna, make me a coffee,” I demand lazily. I want to look at your ass. It’s not boring, but quiet.

You look out of the corner of your eye at me before you take a deep breath and I raise my eyebrows challengingly. Under my gaze, you finally submit because I think you sense danger.

Your chair scrapes across the floor as you stand up and I grind my teeth because once again, it is much too loud. Can’t you stand up quietly? Dad grinds his teeth as he watches me. The roar of the coffee machine almost makes me lose it as it performs. You want to put in a spoonful of sugar as usual, but I say stop, and you pause.

“No sugar, Alayna.” You frown because I usually take sugar. “Carter drinks his coffee with sugar, not me,” I lie, simply to mess you up more in your already confused state. If I’m fucked up, so are you. It’s that simple.

“Milk?” you ask insecurely and uncharacteristically quiet.

“Yes, Alayna. Milk. I want milk.” Naturally. Who drinks coffee without milk?

“Caden!” Dad says menacingly. I can hear in his voice that he is about to press me against the wall by my throat and punch me in the face. Maybe that’s exactly what I need.

“More. More...more,” I say as you pour milk into my coffee. “Oh, fuck, Alayna, that is way too much!” I bark. “You drink it.”

Your eyes widen, Alayna, and your hands shake.

Dad rises. He takes the coffee from you and sets it on the counter, and then stares at me. A cheek muscle twitches suspiciously. “Caden. Listen.”

“Dad...” I say indolently, but with a cautionary undertone. “I’d rather you don’t get involved right now.”

“You don’t tell me when to interfere in my house, you fucking toad!” He has his back to you, standing between us. I hate that, so I start to get up. Nobody stands between you and me, not even my fucking father.

Dad flexes his muscles, at that moment, Mom moves in front of him and I pause.

What a buzz kill.

“Caden, stop it right now.” She puts one hand on my tense chest and I can feel the blood rushing through my veins. “I’ll call him... I am certain he’ll come home.” I look at my mother and wonder if I should hurt her so she’ll leave me alone, but Dad growls, “Don’t even think about it or I’ll break your neck and you can sleep on the street!”

I raise my hands defensively and take a step back. “Take it easy, guys. I merely wanted to play a little.” Nobody here seems calm, so I turn and stroll into the garage. Over my shoulder I shout, “One ...” and hear you hurrying after me. That’s a good girl.

You arrive a few seconds after me, completely out of breath, after I have sat down on the couch and lit the reserve joint that Carter always keeps stashed in the drawer under his TV.

You are so pale and scared — it bores me.

“I called Carter fifteen times, but he doesn’t answer. I wonder if he answers when you call. You love communicating with him.” Yes, Alayna, I know you texted him yesterday.

The messages before were always harmless: Have you seen Caden? I’ve been trying to reach him. Can one of you pick me up? Where are you? I can’t find him. Tell Caden I’m pissed.

And his answers were always brief: Fuck you, Alayna. Leave me alone, Alayna. Take your Alayna-shit somewhere else, Alayna. No, Alayna! No, Alayna! No, Alayna! Tell him yourself, Alayna! I’m too fucked-up for this shit, Alayna.

But yesterday you asked him where he was. The checkmarks turned blue quickly, but he didn’t answer you. You were sad afterward, Alayna, weren’t you?

“Do you want to know where he is, Alayna?” You swallow, still standing in the doorway as if you are thinking about ru

You’re a bit fu

“Sit in his beanbag chair.” Hesitantly, you go and drop down, your hands still shaking.

“He’s safe with Melissa. He has probably already fucked every orifice the little bitch has. I have to say that was something she was good at. Fucking. She did these crazy things with her little pussy, Alayna, that you should learn too. Did you know that we had her, the two of us, at the same time? After that, everything escalated. She only wanted to be with Carter. Carter. Carter. Carter,” I say frankly and examine my freshly trimmed nails with supposed interest.

The color has disappeared from your face. “Why are you so mean, Caden?” you ask shakily.

“Why, Alayna? Does it hurt you to know that he probably has his dick in someone else right now?”

Tears come to your eyes. You try to blink them away because you hate to cry in front of others. Oh, I’m going to make you cry in front of me, Alayna. And beg and plead and sob.

“No, but it hurts me to hear you say how good she was, Caden,” you say in disbelief and sniff.

“I can show you photos, I still have them. I have a folder for each one.”

“No, thank you,” you reply hoarsely and tears run down your cheeks, which you angrily wipe away. Yes, yes, first they like my brother and then they weep. It is always the same.

“Maybe you should.” I put my legs up on the coffee table and hit the joint hard. “Come here, Alayna.” I casually take my cell phone out of my pocket and wave to you invitingly.

“Caden, please stop it,” you demand weakly, but I can still see the pain and uncertainty in your green shimmering eyes.

“Oh, Alayna, you know, the problem is...” I sigh, “…you should never come between my brother and me and make eyes at one of us because if we lose each other, one of us loses his head and goes mad, while the other loses his heart and feels nothing. Do you want me to feel nothing, Alayna? Do you want that? That I am always this way? And that’s not even close to what I’m showing you now. If he is gone another week, I’ll have killed all of you.” Your eyes grow huge. You still haven’t come here, Alayna. “Well? Are you going to come over here or do I have to get rough?” Before I finish the sentence, you are sitting next to me. I know the type of psychological stress you are under when I start counting and I love it. I love psychological stress. I admit it.

I get comfortable on the couch and put one arm over the backrest behind you, but without touching you because I won’t touch you. This is your punishment, Alayna, for texting him.

I give you my cell phone and your fingers tremble even more. “The code is our shared date of birth. Do you know it?” You nod slightly and enter 1031.

Halloween, we really are the spawn of Satan, Alayna. What can I say?

My screen comes to life. I chose a black background yesterday because I couldn’t see your smile. Carter, on the other hand, always had Melissa as his background until they broke up. He’s such a little sentimentalist.

“So, Alayna, open my gallery,” I instruct business-like.

“I don’t want to do this, Caden.” You look at me pleadingly and your eyes shimmer. Nevertheless, your pleading will get you nowhere with me. It bounces off me.

“Okay. I’ll tell you how it was and how many times we did it right there where you are now sitting, where you sleep and eat every night…”

You gasp. “Okay, I’m opening it. Just stop,” you exclaim stiffly. Your whole attitude radiates pure unwillingness.

“You have to open the M folder.”

You stick your thumb over folder A.

“Yes, your pictures are in there, Alayna, but you already familiar with them, at least, some of them. Now go to M.” My voice gets harder. If you tap on folder A now, you would see all the pictures I took of you when you didn’t even know I existed.