Garden of Sins

“Have you ever noticed that we can do such crazy things because we look exactly the same?” Caden says and I squint thoughtfully.

“Do you mean, for example, fucking a chick while pretending to be the other one?” I ask drily.

He widens his eyes as if that is the answer. “YEEEEES! That’s what we’ll do,” he exclaims and attempts to jump up, but even after three tries, he can’t get up. Attentively, I watch all this, ready to catch him, provided I manage to stretch out my arm.

“Alayna? Melissa? Danielle? Rebecca? Aaliyah? Cynthia? Loona?” I list the women we already have shared.

“Oh, Looooona!” Caden exclaims, sounding a bit scared. “She was awesome, but a little aggressive at the end!”

We laugh because we both recall that garden gnome who wanted to beat Caden up with a baseball bat that seemed bigger than she was.

Roaring with laughter, Caden falls off the couch. He lies on his back like a turtle, holding his stomach, unable to get up. I can’t control myself anymore either. Fuck, it feels so good after all that manipulation and fucking crap. Honestly.

“We are always much too serious. We should see life as more fun! And when I manage to get out of this beanbag, bro, let’s go to the mailboxes and empty them!” I a

“Whoa, wait, bro, I’ll help you,” Caden says and rolls around so that he lies on his stomach next to me on the floor. He crawls to me like a soldier in a war. When I see him like that, I laugh again and so does he. He lies there cracking up and I lie there laughing uncontrollably. God, it’s crazy.

“YOU’RE TOO FAR AWAY, CARTER,” he complains angrily.

Half-heartedly, I cheer him on. “You can do it, man!”

All of a sudden, my door is ripped open and Caden is so startled, he shoots up and bangs his head on the coffee table. I can’t breathe I am laughing so hard. I don’t even care that someone entered without knocking. Only Caden is allowed to do that, but he’s already here, so it’s probably not Caden.

He holds his head, laughs, and falls onto the sofa.

“That hurt,” he remarks almost reproachfully.

“And it’s going to hurt a lot more in a moment, you fucking toad!” thunders behind us.

Fuck, it’s Dad — and we’re fucked. It’s not fu

Oh...he stands above us and says something about Alayna and Melissa, Danielle, and fed up, and boot camp.

Then I start to laugh again. “Boot camp, Caden!” He giggles like a girl and Dad smacks me on the back of the head, which really hurts and makes me moan, and not in the good way, honestly. He continues with Antarctica, polar bears, and mauling, and I don’t know if he’s truly saying it or my brain is imagining it. Is Dad actually standing here? Does Caden see him too? Now I know how Alayna must feel. Or Danielle.

Yeah, then Dad yells at Caden, and he replies that everything with Alayna is completely different than the others and that he loves her. Dad then a

Then nobody laughs anymore.

We both pale and stop breathing because Granddad is the only one who can really intimidate Caden and me. Shit, especially me.

I can only hope I don’t have to go along, so I make myself small, grateful for this beanbag that I try to become one with.

“You won’t be laughing when you’re with my dad,” Dad thunders in Caden’s direction before he whips around to me and points his index finger at my face. I flinch even though he is far away. “And you! Your turn will come.” Shit, it sounds like Dad’s trying to kill me. It’s like the mafia. I wonder if he’s involved. I actually thought he was on the other side of the law.

“Dad, please, no,” I yell, “Not Granddad!”

“Oh, yes,” he whispers threateningly. “And sober up, you good-for-nothings.” He departs, leaving the door open.

“He’s so uncool,” I murmur to Caden out of the corner of my mouth.

My brother nods. “Absolutely.” And we stare at each other, stricken and nodding for what feels like an eternity. Perhaps it is, for at some point, my neck begins to hurt.

Shit, we are so fucked up.