Garden of Sins

24. Get it in your head, Caden

Alayna

Carter is throwing a party in his garage and this time you’re there with me, which is unusual enough in itself because you don’t want me here, Caden. But you did take me to his garage that one night, right? We were up there in his bed...but I can’t think about that now because doubts arise if I think too much about it.

I’m already upset and confused about what happened at the di

I’m insecure because you said you were going to Melissa’s house, but part of me doesn’t believe you’d cheat out of spite. It doesn’t fit with my image of you.

Time and again, I feel like I’m losing my mind when I am around you because there are strange images and questions in my head. But then I hold on to the way you were with me that one night, how you opened yourself up to me, and I instinctively know you have this heart that I saw. You showed it to me and I know that you don’t do that for everyone.

Do you really feel betrayed by me, Caden? Or why did you ask that question at the table? I mean, I have no interest in Carter, but it seems to me, maybe because of what you’ve been going through with Melissa, that you constantly assume I have feelings for him that I don’t. I admit that I like him a little more now than I did in the begi

“Alayna...” You sit next to me and stroke my arm with your fingertips. The first soft touch in hours and it feels so unspeakably good. I love it when you touch me like this, as if you felt that I was thinking too much again. It tires me. I simply want to pretend that nothing is wrong. I merely want to enjoy my time with you and for a moment, forget everything else.

My gaze glides over your shoulder to your devastatingly beautiful face. Your turquoise eyes are still a bit cool and I wish there was something I could do to thaw them, but I do not know what. Sometimes, you seem so tormented and I really hate that. I want to stroke your face, take your hand, and go up to your room with you, but I won’t. I guess the storm is not over just because you’ve calmed down a bit.

“Yes?” I reply so that you understand me over the music.

Your head is tilted. Your black hair shines in the blue lights that fill Carter’s garage. There are so many people around, but you’re all I see.

You sigh and brush a few strands from my face. “Go to Carter, baby girl, and tell him I want to talk to him.”

Irritated, I frown and glance briefly at Carter’s bedroom. I saw him there earlier, out of the corner of my eye, fleeing with a blonde. Why should I enter his room now, where he could be doing anything?

“Why?” I ask with a frown.

You bend over and gently stroke my jaw with your lips. Everything inside me trembles and goose bumps trickle down my neck. You are so intense, Caden, you electrify me. My eyelids slide shut, automatically tilting my head as you put your perfect mouth against my ear.

“Go,” you whisper. “I have to talk to someone else.” With that tone, I’ll give you whatever you want, just don’t reject me like you did before and knock my hand off you.

“Okay,” I whisper and only open my eyes when you pull your head back and your warmth disappears.

I look at you again as I push away from Carter’s dark bar under the stairs.

You wink at me and the corner of my mouth lifts. I love it when you’re so good-natured. I need that and I soak it up.

Finally, I tear my eyes away from you and push past all the stoned people, the smoke burning my eyes. As soon as I step on the first tread of the spiral staircase, I get a queasy feeling. I frown and my hand slides over the black metal of the banister.

I still remember exactly how you brought me up here. I remember how tight your fingers were around mine and how you were in a hurry, completely different than usual.

I shake my head slightly and glance up before I climb the last four steps.

The broken door hangs open a crack and I push it with my fingertips. I hope Carter isn’t doing what I think he is doing.

Because I ca

My first instinct is to step back, but I hesitate, everything inside me freezing because the scene is eerily familiar.

The red neon lights above Carter’s bed illuminate the blonde’s body. She is tied to the bed with a belt around her wrists and has her ass stretched out toward Carter. He just fucks her, apparently not noticing me at all. He is still wearing his jeans and has them open in the front, but I can only stare at the blonde. A lump forms in my throat.

What the fuck is this sick shit?

She’s tied up just like I was. Carter’s fingers are digging into her hips as hard as yours were on mine.

My fingers grasp the doorknob tightly and for a moment, it feels like my lungs are completely constricted. I find it hard to breathe. This image...this exact image is what keeps repeating in my head when I recall what you and I did in here. Shit, Caden, am I losing my mind?

As if Carter feels my presence, he turns his head towards me. Lust shines in his eyes. I’ve seen that look a few times before, haven’t I? Not on your face, but his. That hazy look. That fire in the turquoise. Not yours, but his.

My heart starts racing and my fingers are sweaty.

Carter lifts a corner of his mouth. “You are such a bad girl, just standing there watching me fuck her. Aren’t you ashamed of yourself?” he asks and thrusts harder into her. At the same time, I flinch with his thrust and gasp. All at once, I hear the exact same voice saying to me, “You are such a bad girl. Fucking me in his bed. Have you no shame?”

My knees weaken and I grip the doorknob because my legs threaten to give way. This can’t be happening. I thought...this is you, Carter, right? Or is it you, Caden, and that was Carter down there? Because I was up here with you that night. You and I were having sex exactly like this. Carter can’t know that. Or is it merely a coincidence? Are you two just too similar? What’s happening?

My head is spi

“Fuck, Carter?” I breathlessly exclaim. The moment Carter smiles at me and slaps the blonde’s ass, I threaten to rip apart inside because that was exactly what we did, right, Caden?

That was you, wasn’t it?

This isn’t you, is it?

This is Carter, isn’t it?

That’s not Carter, is it?

The next moment, I feel another presence at my back and I freeze. It feels like you. That is you, isn’t it? Your scent infiltrates my nose and your breath sweeps across my neck as you bend towards it.

“One,” you whisper and this time I shiver. My hand clenches the door handle and I close my eyes for a moment and take a deep breath.