Rustic Hearts

Sophie

I stand from my seat on the swing and walk over to him.

“Daddy, why didn’t you come for me?” I ask as I sit in the rocking chair next to him.

He stares off into the night sky for a few moments, carefully choosing his words. “I tried. Once she got you to the city, it was hard to track you down. That director fella—Patrick Stone was his name—he had moved you two into an apartment. He, uh, was worried about the scandal of it all. See, he had a wife and two kids back in California. He tucked you and your mother safely away in New York and paid me a visit a few days later. He threatened to press charges for the assault, and he threatened to sue Pop and Rustic Peak for breach of contract because I’d forced them to leave before the eight weeks was up. We had already used some of the funds they had paid for sod and to do one of the major fence repairs, and we needed the rest to pay the lean we had against the ranch and purchase new heifers and just survive for the rest of the year. I couldn’t pay him back, and I didn’t even have the money to fly to New York to get you and fly us both back. My back was against the wall. He knew it.

“My plan was to come and get you after the next season. By then, I was sure he was going to shake Vivian loose. He was only keeping her up to try to hush everything until after his movie released.”

“You never came.”

“I did. Once. Your mother met me in the city, and she came without you. The director had cut her off, just as I’d predicted, but she had moved on and was seeing some wealthy businessman. She was so happy and full of light that I hadn’t seen in years. She begged me not to take you from her.”

“And you just walked away?”

“I did. I knew that man could give you two a life I couldn’t. I was a broken man back then. I wanted to get myself together, and I did. I met Madeline and fell in love again. She’s a good woman. By the time I pla

“Why?”

“Vivian is codependent. I knew she had married a couple of times, and I didn’t know if the current one would last. She needed you. She needed you to believe in her.”

“But I needed you.”

Pain passes his eyes as he explains, “I failed you. I was still trying to take care of and protect Viv. I guess I have been all these years. Even now.” He shakes his head in disbelief.

“Your mother was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. I still remember the first day I met her. She came to the door, selling fresh eggs from her parents’ chickens. She was wearing this simple yellow cotton dress, and her hair was in a braid. She took my breath away. I think I fell in love right then and there. Pop wouldn’t buy her eggs because we had chickens of our own, so I kept sneaking out and meeting her at the gate to buy a couple with my own money each morning just so I could see her. Gram made me eat eggs for breakfast, lunch, and supper, but I didn’t care. The days were better when they started with her smile. You have the same one.”

He looks over to me with a soft expression.

“I’d have done anything back then to make her smile, and when the time came, I even let her go to see it.”

“I don’t understand.”

“She didn’t belong here. She had to escape this life. Our life. She was suffocating here. Did I like the way she did it? No, ma’am. Hurt like a son of a bitch. Coming home and finding my girls gone. I knew that man was no good and was just going to use her up and spit her out. But she had stars in her eyes and wouldn’t listen to reason, and I had to stop trying to hold on to her. She was like a caged bird. Every day, she grew a little bit sadder, and it broke my heart to see her light fading. I loved her so much, and I wanted to keep her forever, but I couldn’t.”

I look around the porch as a light wind kicks up, and the tinkle of the wind chime dances in the air. “I can see that. Mom is too much personality for this place.”

He nods in agreement. “I think you and her have that in common.”

“I don’t know. I was happy here with Pop and Gram and Emmett and you. I hated leaving. I missed Dallas and my horse. I was so homesick. Don’t get me wrong; I love the city now. I love my life there, but this feels like home too.”

“You are the best parts of both your mother and me. You have her curiosity and thirst for adventure and my stubborn attitude and appreciation for your roots.” He looks over at me with tears in his eyes. “I think that makes you pretty special, sweetheart.”

He takes a deep breath.

“She loved you too, you know. Anytime I brought you up, she would fall apart. Like even thinking about you was too painful. I thought you’d broken her heart, and that was why. After a while, I stopped mentioning you.”

“She did love me but not enough to stay. Love is defined by choice. If there were only one option, then you are just that—the only option. Choosing to love another person in spite of all the other options available … that’s the part that makes it special. That’s the part that makes it all worth it. I chose her, but she didn’t choose me. That’s our love story in a nutshell.”