Ugly girl

“I…I’m so sorry,” she says, her eyes filling with tears that I don’t give a shit about. “I didn’t realize witnessing your parents’ murder was a secret.”

I let out a groan as whispers start filling the hallway, and instantly, without making out their words, I know exactly what’s being said. ‘Poor Skylah,’ ‘How sad for the new girl,’ ‘No wonder she’s such a bitch, she grew up with no parents.’ ‘I’d be a cow if my parents were murdered too.’

I slam the locker closed, getting out only my pencil and notepad and turn to face Maze. I notice Damian behind her paying close attention and from the look on his face, either he didn’t hear what was being said in his bedroom on Friday night or Slade hasn’t filled him in yet, but what he’s hearing right now is news to him and the pity is coming off him in waves.

“It’s not a fucking secret. I just don’t broadcast it because I don’t want any of these dumb bitches’ pity, and that’s exactly what you’ve just done. Now everyone here is going to know by the time lunch comes around and I’m suddenly going to become the local charity case. So, thanks for that, but next time you feel like telling a hallway full of students my business, make sure to say it a little louder so the kids in the back can hear. We wouldn’t want the story getting all twisted when they start whispering.”

“Sky, come on.”

I shake my head. “No, this is a cutthroat world and after the shit I’ve been through, I’ve learned not to waste my time on people who don’t have your back. Loyalty is everything to me, and you…well, you just haven’t got it.”

With that, I barge past her shoulder and straight past Damian who tries to reach out to me only I dodge that bullet like I dodged getting an STD from Marcus Mahony.

I make my way out into the fresh air and start heading down to my art room. As I go, I don’t miss the way that every phone I pass is screaming out with a new text message and despite not having seen any for myself, I know that every single one of those messages is about me.

I barge into my art classroom and Mrs. Miles slaps a hand to her chest in fright. “Oh, Skylah, darling. What are you doing here? School doesn’t start for another twenty minutes.”

“I know, I’m just having a shitty day. I was hoping I could chill out here and work on my project for a bit, but if not, it’s cool, I can head up to the library instead.”

“No, no, don’t be silly. Of course you can stay, but I hope you’re not after conversation because I’m a little preoccupied.”

“No, that’s fine,” I say, giving her a fake smile as the relief filters through me at not having to face the rest of the world. “I work better in silence.”

Mrs. Miles nods and instantly gets back to what she was doing before I rudely came and interrupted her morning. I finally settle in and try to focus on my project, only for the twentieth time since I started this school, I find myself sketching the face that’s becoming far too familiar.

As I work, I can’t help but think back over everything I just said to Maze. I stand by every single word but it makes me realize just how badly I miss that loyalty of a friend. I had that with Luce. She was my everything. Outside of my home life, she was the one I could rely on to turn things around. She always knew how to make me feel better despite me never telling her exactly what was going on at home.

I want that back. If only I had the guts to reach out. If I log onto Facebook and hit her up in messenger, I could probably be tracked. I can’t do anything. Maybe an email would work but she deserves so much more than that. She’ll never understand. She comes from a family that is all about love. Her parents are friends with Lucien and Maria and to them, the sun shines out of their asses. My story will never be believed. To them, I’m probably just some ungrateful child who ran away in spite. If only they knew the truth about the company they keep.

Though, I guess I’m the monster for not talking to Luce about this when I had the chance. I was always too worried, too scared to see what she’d think of me and then years went by and I realized it was far too late to start talking. I was on my own.

What kind of friend keeps secrets and hides their true selves? When I think about it, I’m really a stranger to her. She may have known the girl on the outside, the one with the mask I put on every day before walking out of the house, but I never gave her a chance to know the one inside.

Shit, I really am awful.

I hide out in the art room until the bell rings and I’m tempted to stay here but Mrs. Miles boots me out the door. I somehow make it through my first few classes of the day, and just when I think I’ll be alright, lunch comes around.

I head into the cafeteria while taking a bite out of an apple. I don’t know how this is going to go. It feels like the first day with nowhere to sit all over again, though I’m pleasantly surprised to see people giving me welcoming smiles and wordlessly inviting me in.

I ignore each and every one of them. Who knows what their intentions are. I’ve just got through one betrayal, I don’t need to be inviting more in.

I scan the room and my eyes stop at a lone table. The computer geeks usually sit there but they must be caught up in the library today as their table is screaming out for me. I make my way toward it only to have Nessa stop right in front of me and slam her hands into my chest, making my apple go flying out of my hand and smash into three equal pieces on the floor.

“Tell me you did not just do that,” I say, maybe a little too loud as I glance up from my destroyed apple while my stomach growls with hunger, making me regret the decision to leave early without having breakfast.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?”

“Excuse me?” I ask, my brows furrowing in confusion. I mean, I’m pretty sure I haven’t fucked around with her yet. She was next week’s plan but if she wants to bring this shit forward it’s my pleasure. I’m not usually one to approve of these sorts of schedule changes on such short notice, but today, I think I’ll let it slide.

Nessa steps toward me and raises her chin, attempting to seem taller despite her barely reaching my nose. “I don’t repeat myself for trash like you. What are you still doing here? My man made it pretty damn clear on day one that you don’t belong and now you’re going around causing problems for everyone.”

“Day one,” I say as though I can hardly remember it despite Slade’s body pressing against mine with his breath tickling my skin being the very thing that I’ve been struggling to get out of my mind. “Day one…oh, that’s right. Was that the day you weren’t here and clearly have no fucking idea what you’re talking about?”

“Wait…I”

“Yeah, I remember now. You told everyone you were partying on some rich dude’s yacht but really what you forgot was that Kathleen Harris is best friends with your neighbor, and your mom told her mom that you had a rash, you know,” I say, dropping my eyes to her lady bits. “Down there. I wonder, did you get that from Slade or from someone else? Oh, it had to be someone else. I get the impression that Slade doesn’t fuck dirty bitches. Maybe that’s why he was screwing Maze on Friday night instead.”

Her face drops and I watch with delight as her jaw clenches. Damn right, bitch. You can’t fuck with the queen.

“You’re such a liar. Slade was with me on Friday night,” she says just a little louder, making sure everyone hears.

“Oh, so he has your dirty rash too?” I ask, despite already knowing the truth, but seriously, this shit is too good to pass up. “Damn, you better be sure to give him your doctor’s number. He’ll be needing it.”