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I'm happy for Alyssa and Jackson...but fuck, I'm so damn jealous I can't even see straight. I'm jealous enough it makes me want to banish all pregnant women off the planet.
But I can't. The only thing I can do is squeeze Lou-Lou's hand and let her know I'm right here with her. I can let her know she's not alone.
Jackson and Alyssa take a seat at the table and start filling their plates. Lou-Lou's still not looking at Alyssa and Alyssa refuses to look at her, and just as I predicted, it's now awkward as fuck.
“So,” Momma says as she runs her hands along her apron and shifts her feet uncomfortably. “What should we talk about, y'all?”
Shelby looks nervous and Tyrone's too busy stuffing his face to notice the shift in the air.
Alyssa twirls her pasta around her fork and shrugs. “The nursery's almost finished—”
I clench my fists and have to remind myself that Alyssa doesn't know about Thumper. I open my mouth to change the subject, but to my surprise Jackson's the one who cuts Alyssa off mid-sentence. “You guys booked the hall for the party, right?”
He looks at Shelby who gives him a strange look, along with Alyssa. “Yeah, Jackson. I mean the party's next week. I'm pretty sure you got your invitation.”
Jackson points to Tyrone. “I know, I just wanted to make sure he didn't forget.”
Jackson looks at me and I nod a silent thank you. Granted it's a bad attempt at changing the subject but I'm no less grateful for it. Especially when I see Lou-Lou finally start to eat, no longer looking like she wants to put her fork through someone's eye.
“Can't forget the second happiest day of my life,” Tyrone chimes in right before he stuffs his mouth with more food.
“Did you ever settle your big cake crisis?” Lou-Lou questions, giving him a look.
Shelby makes a face. “Cake crisis?”
Tyrone looks sheepish and opens his mouth but Shelby then says,. “Please, those damn cakes were ordered the second after Tyrone proposed.” When we all give her a look, she adds, “He called up the bakery and ordered ten red-velvet cakes right on the spot. In fact, I'm pretty sure that's the only reason he proposed.”
Everyone laughs, including Lou-Lou.
Shelby's usually quiet and tends not to talk too much except to Tyrone, so I know this is her way of easing the tension around the table.
“Speaking of which,” Shelby continues. “You're coming to the party, right, Lou-Lou? I already have you marked down as Ricardo's date and Momma already gave the boutique your dress size. Granted you'll have to go in and get measured for the big day.”
Lou-Lou understandably looks confused. “I need to order a special dress for the engagement party? Exactly how elaborate is this party going to be?”
Shelby shakes her head, her green eyes gleaming. “No, silly. I'm sorry, that was my fault for not explaining myself better. I was referring to the wedding. You're one of my bridesmaids. So make no plans for the end of October.”
Lou-Lou looks at me for a moment before she turns to Shelby again. “No offense, Shelby, but are you sure that's really what you want?” She bites her lip and shrugs. “I mean we hardly even know one another, I'm pretty sure the honor should be reserved for your close friends and family—”
“Damn, Lou-Lou,” Tyrone says, feigning insult. “And here I thought we were tight.”
Shelby laughs and points her thumb at him. “Tyrone wants you to be a bridesmaid.” Her eyes widen. “I mean I do too. You're right, we don't really know one another, but I'd like the chance to get to know you. Tyrone says you're an amazing person.”
Shelby looks at me and winks. “And with the way Ricardo can't stop looking at you like you're the best thing since country fried steak, I know it's the truth.”
Lou-Lou's cheeks turn pink and she puts down her roll. “I guess that means I should lay off the carbs for the next few months.”
Momma tsks and wags her finger. “Oh no you don't. You best be clearing that plate, young lady. Don't make me come over there and force feed you.”
Lou-Lou sighs and takes a big bite out of her roll. “Here we go again.” She looks at Tyrone who's still laughing. “If I've learned nothing else from living with Momma for two months, it's not to argue with her when it comes to food.”
Tyrone points his fork at her. “Smart girl. There are just some battles in life you can't win.” He gestures to the table. “A Southern woman cooking for you is one of them. It's a two plate minimum round' here.”
Lou-Lou looks at Momma and shoves a big bite of food into her mouth. “It's delicious, Momma. Best food I've ever had.”
Momma fixes her hair and beams. “Why thank you, sugar. It was just a little something I whipped up on a moments notice.”
Tyrone waggles his eyebrows at Lou-Lou and they both share a moment before she focuses those doe eyes on me again.
I bring her hand up to my lips and kiss it, feeling both proud and enamored with her.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Alyssa start to fidget, she's the one appearing uncomfortable now.
I open my mouth to include her in the conversation, but to everyone's surprise Lou-Lou does when she swallows hard and says, “Congratulations by the way.”
Her gaze bounces between Alyssa and Jackson. “Both of you.”
There's another awkward pause before Jackson gives her a smile and Alyssa looks at her and whispers, “Thank you.”
“So are you staying here now?” Jackson questions, looking at me.
Before I can answer, Lou-Lou nudges my elbow and says, “I don't know, I think it all depends on how good my hostage negotiation skills are.”
Jackson and Tyrone snort and Alyssa's lips quirk up before her expression turns serious. “I think you should stay, Lou-Lou.”
She looks at me then back to Lou-Lou.
They hold eye contact for a few seconds and there's a moment between them that I don't quite understand, but since it doesn't end up in a fight, I'll count my blessings.
The rest of di
It's not perfect, and it doesn't mean things are fixed, but it's a start.
I wake with a jolt when I realize she's no longer lying next to me in bed.
I reach for my gun and spring to my feet, cursing myself for falling asleep in the first place.
I breathe a sigh of relief when I see her across the room.
She's sitting Indian style on the floor, facing the large window overlooking the city, the light from the moon illuminating the dark room.
I also can't help but notice the small pile of dandelions in front of her. She picks one up and squeezes her eyes shut before she blows on it, sending seeds scattering across the room.
My guts knot and my chest aches as I make my way over to where she is, it's such a heartbreaking, yet beautiful sight.
I plop down behind her, kiss her cheek, and wrap my arms around her waist. “What are you doing, baby?”
She doesn't answer right away, instead she brings my hand to her heart and blows on another dandelion.
“Wishing for miracles,” she whispers, leaning against me now.
I bury my face in her neck and kiss the soft spot just under her ear. “What kind of miracles?”
She shifts in my arms and runs her hand along my jaw. “The kind I'm not afraid to fight for anymore.” She lifts her chin and kisses me softly. “The kind I deserve.” She wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me in for another kiss. “The kind that make me believe again.”
Lightning flashes outside and she places her legs on either side of mine. “I love you, Ricky.”