Blame it on the shame Part 2

"Men like a little something to hold onto," she continues. "Can't be all skin and bones with no derriere." She scans the room. "Ain't that right, boys?"

"Yes, Ma'am," all the guys say in unison...including Ricardo.

I roll my eyes and toss my napkin in my dish.

I hate every last one of them. I can't believe I ever wanted to be part of this stupid family.

Maybe letting DeLuca think he's the father of my baby is the right thing to do after all.

At least he knows how to protect someone.

Somewhere in the back of my mind a voice whispers, 'No, he only knows how to manipulate you, use you and control you.'

God, I can't wait until this breakfast from hell is over and I can play the tape.

 

 

When Jackson walks Alyssa out to her car, I decide to make my move.

I look at Tyrone. "Can I use your laptop?"

"Sure, it's in the living room."

I walk into the living room and grab the laptop. I quickly stick the disk in and attach the wire that will enable it to play on the television.

This way everyone can see.

Including Momma herself. Maybe then she'll realize her 'good feeling' about her was oh so very wrong.

That's when I feel Ricardo's presence behind me. "What are you doing?"

I turn around and force myself to remain expressionless. "I saw a cool video. I thought you would enjoy it."

He gives me a strange look and rubs the back of his neck. "Well, before you do that...we really need to talk."

I'm about to protest because I don't have anything to say to him at the moment, but his eyes turn hard and he grips my elbow. "Now."

He leads me to Tyrone's room and slams the door behind him.

That's when I go off on him. "It's fu

"Cut the shit, Lou-Lou. You insulted her and you lied to me," he bellows. "You told me you didn't know anything about her. So how the fuck do you know she attended NYU?"

I snort. "Wow, you are such a fucking hypocrite. You do realize that you just accused me of the very same thing you did to me, right?"

His jaw tightens and I know I've got him. "Yeah, Ricardo. Your 'we're a team, let's be honest' act is up. You obviously know her, therefore you lied to me."

When he stays silent, I jab a finger in his chest. "How do you know her, Ricardo?"

He looks like he's going to speak but another bout of jealousy washes over me. "You fucked her, didn't you?" I step back, appalled. "God, you're disgusting. Does Jackson know he's her sloppy second yet?"

"I don't know her," he says.

I put my hands on my hips and give him a look. "Not really," he amends. "It's more like I know of her."

He backs me into the wall, his expression unyielding. "And no, I didn't fuck her," he growls.

I raise my chin. "Then why are you so protective when it comes to her?"

He leans his forehead against mine and grabs my face, his eyes burning into me. The air between us crackles and sizzles, a mixture of intensity, anger, and longing.

I fight the urge to crush my mouth against his and lose myself in him— because my intuition is telling me that everything's about to change.

His hand slides up my neck. "You have no reason to be jealous of her...you know how I feel about you. And you're right, I am protective when it comes to Alyssa. But not for the reasons you think. My driving force to protect her is because of guilt, not love—and certainly not lust."

He leans down, his lips a centimeter away from mine. "I'll tell you everything, Lou-Lou. Every single thing you want to know. I just need one thing from you."

Tears prickle my eyes because I should be pushing him away right now—not wanting to give him whatever he's about to ask me for.

That's the thing about love, though...it's never rational. I draw in a shaky breath. "What?"

"I need the truth," he says, his voice strained. "Show me your arms."

I push him away, furious about what he's accusing me of. "You think I'm on drugs?"

"I don't know," he begins. "You sleep all the time—and when you're not, you're hauled up in the bathroom. And lately, you disappear for hours and hours, claiming to be at the library...yet you never bring any books home. You also refused to tell me where you ran off to this morning. In addition to that, your attitude today isn't like you at all. So yeah...I think you might be on drugs."

He looks me in the eyes and swallows hard. "And I'm begging you to prove me wrong right now."

My stomach drops because I can't tell him the real reason behind my behavior. Even though I'm angry with him...I still love him. Therefore, I still need to protect him.

However, that doesn't mean I'm going to let him think I broke my promise. I would never do that to him.

I blow out a breath and hold out my arms. He lifts both sleeves to my sweater up and I scoff, "There, happy?"

He curses under his breath and grips my arms so tight I wince. "Get out," he spits.

I shake my head, beyond confused.

Until I look down and see what's upset him so much.

I had lab work done this week. Twice.

"No," I say, frantically. "This isn't what it looks like. These aren't track marks."

His eyes turn black and he gives me a look so threatening and dangerous, it cuts right through me.

Yeah, he's definitely a DeLuca.

That look alone can kill a person 50 different ways, I'm sure of it.

"I'm not on drugs, Ricardo. You have to believe me."

I lick my suddenly dry lips and try to control the tremors.

"Fine, then give me your purse," he says gruffly.

I eagerly hand it over to him. Maybe now he'll finally believe me.

I'm just as horrified as he is when he proceeds to pull out a needle and three bags of heroin.

How the hell did those ever get in my bag?

I don't have time to think about that because his nostrils flair and he sneers, "I guess you were saving these for an after breakfast snack?"

"N-no," I stammer. "I have no clue how those got there. It's a mistake, Ricardo."

He leans in, his face is so close to mine I honestly don't know if he's going to kiss me or bite me. "Get the fuck out," he snarls. "The only mistake I made...was giving my heart to someone like you."

I stare at him wide-eyed. My heart squeezes because he's never been this cruel to me.

"Ricardo, I swear to you—I'm not on drugs." I don't even realize there are tears ru

"Fine. Then I have one other question."

"What?"

"Who were you with this morning?" He bangs the wall beside my head. "And don't you fucking lie to me again."

I can't look him in the eyes as I utter, 'DeLuca."

His adam's apple bobs and he looks so dejected it causes my heart to break.

I see the question burning in those dark orbs of his. The question he's too afraid to ask because it will crush him.

And that's when I realize that this right here...is my opening. If I have any chance of getting DeLuca to believe this baby is his...Ricardo has to believe it too.