Blame it on the shame Part 2

First, it started with her constant trips to the bathroom...she blamed it on her stomach problems.

Then she started dozing off constantly. Usually after her trips to the bathroom.

And this week? She's been spending hours and hours at the library.

Or claiming to be at the library.

Trepidation fills my chest with my next thought.

When I asked her where she went this morning...she wouldn't give me a straight answer, even though I know damn well where she was.

Also, her eyes are red and bloodshot. That's not the biggest clue, though.

The biggest clue is the way she's treating me right now.

How did I miss all the signs?

No...she wouldn't do this to me.

Lou-Lou would talk to me instead of turning to that shit again.

Although, it would possibly explain why she didn't tell me about going to see DeLuca.

I have force myself to calm the fuck down so I don't cause a scene in front of everyone.

She promised me.

Besides, I have no proof. I'm just basing all this off speculation and my own fucked up experiences.

I have to trust that she wouldn't do this to me. To herself. To us.

I walk into the kitchen and try like hell to shut down that little voice inside my head that whispers, "She might."

I take a seat next to her at the table without saying a word. This feeling in my gut is only getting worse every second that passes.

Especially when I look up and see Jackson walking to the table...and I notice he's not alone. Alyssa's standing right beside him.

She's also wearing his t-shirt...which I can only assume means she spent the night with him.

I'm about to pull him aside and rip into him again. But then he does something that stops me.

He lifts his chin and gives me 'the look'.

That look can only mean one thing...he's serious about her. Fuck...there's nothing I can do to stop this from happening anymore.

There's only one thing I can do now...add her to the roster and take her into my little circle of protection.

Christ. I feel like I should open my arms wide and tell her 'Welcome to the family.'

Instead, I give Jackson a nod and Alyssa a smile. I see Jackson's gaze drift to Lou-Lou briefly but he guides Alyssa to the table to take a seat.

I don't miss the look Momma gives her. Yup, that's the 'Momma Bear' look.

I take a sip of water and silently wish Jackson good luck.

Jackson walks over to Momma and attempts to give her a hug, but he's suddenly pushed aside by Alyssa.

Alyssa raises her chin, holds out her hand and looks Momma right in the eyes. "Hello, Mrs. Davis. I'm Alyssa Ta

Next to me, Lou-Lou gasps.

Momma appraises Alyssa for a few moments before wiping her hand on her apron and shaking Alyssa's hand. "It's nice to meet you too, and please; call me Momma."

Lou-Lou's glass falls to the ground and I instinctively reach over and give her knee a squeeze.

I'm going to make it a point to pull Momma aside after breakfast and talk to her about Lou-Lou.

Lou-Lou promptly removes my hand from her knee and gives me a dirty look.

I'm not sure what I did to her since last night, but fuck this shit. I'm not going to sit here and just take her treating me like this.

She's on her own for breakfast this morning.

My frustration bubbles and that little voice from before gnaws at me. Only it's stronger and this time...I can't seem to stuff it down.

Last night, I made love to a woman I'd do anything to save.

And this morning, she's slowly ripping my heart out.