Alien in the Family

I hugged her back. “I love you, Mom.”

She kissed my head. “Good. You know the saying—your son is your son until he takes a wife, but your daughter’s your daughter for the rest of your life. Your father and I wouldn’t have it any other way. And we love Jeff, too, just in case you were worried we were going to suggest you marry Charles or Christopher, like every other relative.”

I laughed as we separated. “You mean you’re finally off the ‘check out your options’ bandwagon?”

Mom shrugged as she went back to the clothing rack, and I started to get out of my clothes. “You checked, and your decision seems made. While we love Charles and Christopher and Brian, too, they aren’t your choice. We’d love any decent man you were in love with, kitten, but your grandfather’s right. You do need a big tomcat to take care of you and keep you in line—and Jeff seems to be the best there is at that job. Besides,” she added as she tossed me a grin over her shoulder, “Jeff seems to want lots of children.”

“Why is it always about the babies with our family?”

She shrugged as she brought Option 1 over. “It’s natural. You always want to see your children get children they deserve.”

“Thanks ever.” Tried on the dress. It fit and looked really good. “Wow.”

“James insists you show him everything, whether you like it or not.”

“I like this a lot.”

“Yes, I’m sure.” She led me out.

Got a ton of squeals from the various females. Reader looked extremely critical, and Chuckie shrugged. “It’s nice.”

“Take it off. Next.” Reader sounded like my Uncle Mort.

“Um, James? I like it. Chuckie likes it.”

“He said it was nice. Nice is fine for di

Mom and I went back and did the whole thing over again. And over again. Mom got tired and called Lucinda in for assistance. So she helped me do the whole thing over again. And over again. The girls and my grandmothers squealed with joy at each appearance. Chuckie pronounced a few more nice, a couple as okay, several as gag-worthy—at least, I took him sticking his finger toward his open mouth and making gagging sounds to mean that he didn’t think they were the best choice—and a couple as deathly dull, indicated by him leaning his head back and snoring loudly.

“I thought this was supposed to be fun.”

Lucinda laughed. “I understand now why James told us concentrated and fast was the correct choice. Imagine doing this at dress shop after dress shop. For weeks on end. And not coming up with anything.”

I thought about it. “Wow, let’s try on the next dress that’s right here!”

She nodded. “Jeffrey’s always said you were smart.”

CHAPTER 61

WE WERE DOWN TO THE LAST TWO DRESSES. I was clear that mermaid style was the way to go, since Chuckie had started perking up as soon as I tried the first one. But that had been several dresses ago, and nothing had made Reader happy.

Mom was on dress duty so Lucinda could sit and rest. The three of us needed a vacation already. But it was great for girl bonding. I’d heard a lot about Martini’s youthful exploits and mishaps, so I had a good arsenal of stored blackmail. Same with Christopher. They had pretty much been inseparable, but I’d known that. I reminded myself that they’d both had a year to get used to me, and everything would be fine.

I realized I was worrying about things I never thought of normally as I slid into another dress. This one was simple but gorgeous. Mermaid style, sleeveless with straps, and a lot of fancy embroidery with silver thread on shiny satin.

“Wow, this one looks wonderful.” Mom sounded impressed. “It’ll take a while to get in and out of it with all the buttons in the back, but it’s worth it.”

Went out, got the requisite girl squeals—their enthusiasm, unlike mine, Mom’s, and Lucinda’s, hadn’t waned—and Chuckie sat up. “Nice. Very nice.” The way he said it made it sound better than nice.

Reader nodded slowly and made the twirly-finger move he’d been perfecting. I only twirled when Chuckie liked something, so I hadn’t twirled all that often. “Good. Keep it as an option. Let’s see the next.”

“James, there’s only one next.”

“Fine. Let’s see it.”

Sighed, went back into the room. “Chuckie likes it, James says we can keep it as an option.” Mom and Lucinda both heaved sighs, and Mom started unbuttoning while Lucinda took the last dress down.

“It’s very similar,” she said, sounding thoughtful. “Less . . . showy than the other one.”

It was similar. Sleeveless with thin spaghetti straps where the other had thicker ones, embroidery that was the same color as the main fabric so it was more subtle, silk instead of satin so softer and less shiny than the first. It hugged my body and flared out just above my knees. It had a short train that complemented my entire backside. Cut low enough in front and back that a bra was out of the question, but I didn’t need one with the way the bodice was designed and fitted. The back cut straight across, under my shoulder blades, the front had a subtle dip instead of cutting straight across or plunging. Like the other, it buttoned all the way down the middle of my back to the end of the train.

Mom and Lucinda stared at me. “This is the dress.” They said it unison. The unison thing was starting to really freak me out. It had to be wedding related.

I was heading out when Lucinda stopped me. “Take your hair out of the ponytail.”

I did. I mean, why not. Mom dug my brush out of my purse, and I did a full brush and fluff. Noted that I could actually move in this dress, form-fitting though it was.

Went out, wondering what the male reaction was going to be. Interesting reaction from the girls: They all went quiet, as though they’d drawn their breath in. My grandmothers looked as if they were going to cry.

Okay, great. What about the male opinion? Looked over to Chuckie and Reader. Chuckie was sitting up like he’d been goosed, his eyes were wide, and he looked shocked and wistful at the same time.

Looked at Reader. Got the usual frowny-face of concentration and the finger twirl. Twirled. Reader indicated I should twirl again. “On your toes.”

“Yes, sir.” Twirled again on my toes. Once more for good measure. “Getting dizzy, James.”

He gri

“Paula?”

“Paula Varsalona. Great designer. Great lady, too, love her.” He waved his hand in front of Chuckie’s face.

“Uh-huh.” Chuckie was still staring at me.

“Perfect! That’s the reaction we’re looking for. Get out of that one carefully, please. I’ll bag it and move it as soon as you’re dressed.”

“Um, does that mean I can sit down and have something to drink?”

“Yes. For a few minutes.”

“Thank you, Sergeant Reader. Thanks for starting me on the exact opposite end than this dress was, too.”

Got the cover-boy grin flashed at me. “You deserved to have the full experience. Just did it in a short amount of time. Thank me later.” He turned to the other girls. “Okay, we’re going to stick with the same designer for you. So, everyone but Lorraine I want changing into one of these other dresses. Should have all your sizes in here.” He pulled a rack over and looked at me. “Go on, out of the dress.”

I rolled my eyes and went back into the bedroom. “Well?” Mom asked. “What did Charles and James think?”

“This is the dress.”

Mom and Lucinda high-fived each other. They got me out of the dress and hung it carefully while I put my clothes back on. Grabbed my purse—the Poofs were snoozing. They seemed to do that a lot. Lucky things. Then the three of us went out of the room.