Alien in the Family

I took a deep breath, let it out, and felt in control enough to talk. “Think that covers the Earth blood. Alex, what’s your plan?”

“I respectfully dec—”

“Dude! Not a good plan!”

He looked at me in confusion. “But . . . I don’t want it.” I saw Leonidas out of the corner of my eye—he was tensed and focused. I could practically feel him trying to influence Alexander’s decision. But no worries, that’s what I was there for, and unlike the Chief Councillor, there weren’t any repercussions they could use against me.

“Alex, want has nothing to do with responsibility. You know why Jeff and the others declined? Because this world is no longer their responsibility—Earth is. But this is your world, and these are your people. Leadership isn’t about wanting—that’s what screwed up your great-uncle. Jeff and Christopher don’t want to have to run everything—they do it because they’re the best at what they do, and our world needs them.”

“I don’t want to rule the way my great-uncle did,” Alexander said.

“That’s a great start. But there’s only one way to achieve that.”

He gave me a long look. “I thought I could stay with all of you.”

I shrugged. “Unlock the freaking gate. I’m sure we’d be open to the occasional visit back and forth. Provided both sides called first and made sure their respective houses were cleaned and tidied.”

“Alexander has already refused the crown,” Victoria said quietly.

“So what? Unless this world’s ready to hail Queen Victoria, then they’d better hail King Alexander pronto. Or else I have a queen standing right down there who could probably rule this planet as well as her own.” Queen Renata gri

“There is precedent,” Leonidas said. “From centuries ago. But since Alexander has refused the crown already, the people must agree.” He sounded worried.

“Not the Poofs?”

Leonidas pointed to one of the Poofs. “This one has accepted Alexander.” How he knew I had no idea, but I assumed they had their ways. The Poof so identified purred, loudly, which seemed to make both Leonidas and Victoria happy. This was really a freak world. “Therefore, the only remaining protocol would be approval by the majority.”

The chanting started softly. It was started by our guys—Tim and Reader specifically—but no one seemed to notice. I didn’t mind. By the time it grew loud, everyone was chanting it. “King Alexander!”

“Does that work?” I asked Leonidas.

He nodded and smiled. “Yes. I believe we can safely say the majority of the population have approved the new king.”

“Democracy along with the monarchy. Nice.”

“It works for us . . . when the right monarchs are in place.” I noted Leonidas hadn’t projected that for the crowd. “Thank you.”

I didn’t reply because Chuckie had helped Alexander get up the stairs to join us. “Nice display of calm.” ACE didn’t broadcast this. Thank God. “Am I a bad man to admit I was hoping Martini would accept the crown?”

“No, I’d have been sort of hurt otherwise.”

Chuckie gri

Victoria hugged Alexander and started crying. I looked at Chuckie and raised my eyebrow. He gave me a very nice smile and an almost imperceptible nod. I was impressed and hoped the bugs worked long range. It was Chuckie, of course, so the likelihood was high that they would.

Alexander laughed. “What can I do to thank you?”

“Well, start with no longer making us the dumping ground for all your freaking problems.” I thought of something. “ACE, remove the Alpha Four Ozone Shield. Leave the ones up on the other worlds, though.” My voice was projecting again. I looked up and saw a shimmering high up in the sky that broke apart and disappeared.

There were gasps of horror from the crowd. “Oh, you don’t like that? Well, here’s what Earth doesn’t like. We’re really freaking tired of being the Alpha Four trash bin. That’s over now. Deal with your own parasitic superbeings. We’ll tell you how, if you want to send an emissary, Alex. One that we approve and who doesn’t come disguised and to do damage to us.”

Chuckie nodded. “Earth has more weapons than perhaps you’re aware of. Don’t put up another PPB net around us; don’t interfere with us any more. We like the A-Cs we have, and if you asked nicely about immigration, we might consider letting you come on over. But we will exterminate with extreme prejudice anyone coming to make us your battlefield ever again.” He was talking to Alexander but looking at Leonidas. I got the impression they were communicating on the super-smart-guy cha

Alexander nodded. “Your requests are fair, even the removal of the Ozone Shield. Once we know the parasitic threat has truly stopped, we can put it up again. And, perhaps, share it with you as well.”

“That we would appreciate.” I looked around. “Time for us to go.”

“Already?” Victoria sounded shocked. “But you just arrived. None of you from Earth have been here before. You are that uninterested in other worlds?”

“Hardly. We’re hot and heavy for the new world experience. We’re also battered and banged up, and some of us have things to do and all. We know the way here now, if you catch my drift.”

“I will open the gate to you,” Alexander said. “You will be able to come when you choose or have need.” He looked a little lost. Victoria still looked shocked. Leonidas looked as though he was fine with our taking off.

I spit in my hand and held it out to Alexander. “Spit.” He looked at me like I was crazy. So did Victoria and Leonidas. Chuckie started to laugh. “Dude, spit. It’s gross enough.” He spit, gingerly, in my hand. I grabbed his hand and shook, did the whole gangsta thing. It was really impressive in a totally icky way. Alexander tried not to gag. “It was spit or blood. You’re bleeding but I’m not, so . . .” He nodded. I figured he was afraid he’d barf if he talked. “Pinky up.”

“What?” he asked weakly.

I raised mine. “Pinky. Up. How hard are these instructions?” He did as I said. I wrapped our pinkies. “Earth and Alpha Four—we have each other’s backs from now on. Agree?”

Alexander looked at Chuckie. Who gri

Alexander nodded. “Yes. Earth and Alpha Four, we have each other’s backs from now on. Agree?”

“Yes.” I shook our pinkies. Alexander still looked confused. Victoria looked more shocked. Leonidas looked as though he was trying not to laugh. I looked at Chuckie. “Aliens are weird.” I let go of Alexander’s hand. He wiped his on his shirt. I wiped mine on his shirt, too.

“What was that about?” he asked me.

I shrugged. “We could do the whole long diplomatic crap and argue over pieces of paper for decades, but it all comes down to the spit shake or the blood oath and the pinky swear. They’re as binding as any piece of paper and, honestly, probably work better.”

“We are allies now?” Alexander seemed very confused. Leonidas, however, looked quietly pleased.

“Yeah! See? The first thing you did as the new king was create an alliance with Earth. Dude, you rock!”

Chuckie coughed. “I’ll send you a note about the ramifications, Your Majesty.”

“Thanks, Charles. I think I’ll need it.”

“I believe I’d like a copy as well,” Leonidas said.

“Absolutely.” Chuckie and Leonidas were smiling pleasantly at each other. I got the distinct impression they were weighing and examining each other in a lot of ways I was missing. “Are you staying on as King Alexander’s Chief Councillor?” Chuckie asked finally. He didn’t sound as though he was going to disapprove if Leonidas said yes, but I also wasn’t sure if he’d disapprove if Leonidas said no.

Leonidas shrugged. “That’s up to His Majesty.”

“And the people,” Alexander added.

Either ACE had projected this or Victoria or Leonidas had, because I heard murmuring from the crowd. They seemed pleased.