Womb Bloom

Jo

I didn’t see anything apart from rocks, which we had to walk on carefully so as not to stumble on them. Jo

***

Each stone emanated its own hue: red, yellow, blue, purple. I felt like a lynx pouncing from one stone to the other. There was lightness and gracefulness to my movements. The stones I needed to step on pulled my feet towards them. That’s how I covered ground.

Just before morning we reached the summit. The group had almost but dispersed. Some people had stayed overnight in the little huts. For Jo

I had almost stopped believing in its existence. I was tired of the search for partners and the repetitive process of building a relationship and then breaking it up. How painful and energy-consuming it was to invest in a person and then break everything that had taken such effort to build. To break up without looking back. I was so tired of it that I had almost accepted to be a wild wolf in the wild forest of creation…

What we had made this night journey over the rocks for had begun to show itself – the sun was rising. I witnessed red light filling everything around it through the mountain range. It felt as if the sun had spilled itself over the whole sky and swallowed it. Fiery reddish-burgundy flashes rampaged around. It was incredibly beautiful. I’d never seen anything like it. A few minutes after that sun had appeared, another sun began to swim up from behind the mountain tops, showing itself without haste, bit by bit until it had turned into a big yellow disc.

Morning had broken. All who had witnessed this miracle were bathed in light. Everyone stood in a state of bliss and smiled at each other. This was a dawn of new hope for each person. It was a new stage in life; to leave the past in the past and start living a new page of life.

Jo

Sun salute

This practice is done at dawn. First we face east since the sun rises from this direction. Palms pressed together at heart level, we breathe in and stretch our arms out to the sides. We look at the sun and breathe in his energy and on the inhalation bring our hands together. Repeat 4 times.

We then turn to face north, repeat the movements 4 times, then west, south and back to east where we conclude the movements.

At sunset everything except for the breathing is the same – we stretch our arms out on an exhalation and join them together on an inhalation. At sunset we breathe out everything that we’ve amassed during the day. We renew our energy and bid farewell to the old Sun so that tomorrow we can welcome a new day with the new experiences it will bring.

***

After the Sun salute Jo

Week 2

The test showed two stripes. Clear laughter of heartfelt happiness rang out from my body. Jo

A true miracle has taken place. A divine plan. It’s almost unreal. I can’t quite believe it! Maybe I’m dreaming?! I don’t believe it…Have I really succeeded? Have we done it?! From now on I won’t be lonely, at least not for the next 9 months. Wherever I am, whatever place I’ll be going to, there’ll be another being with me; a friend in my belly.

***

After a few days of travelling down my fallopian tube, the embryo attached itself to my womb latching onto its little chance to be the recipient of life. In spite of my hyperactive life filled with Replege, dance, flights, and tempestuous sex, the embryo had survived and taken root in me. That was the first test that it passed in life. Now I had to get used to the constant company; sleeping with a new being inside myself, eating, walking, swimming with it the whole time and being aware of my duality 24 hours round the clock.

***

Two massive worlds are crammed into me and there is so little of the outside world …

I had never been this happy. Before I thought that I would be happy after publishing my first book, after setting up the Replege project or when I had earned my first million. But all that just gave me a short upsurge of joy that lasted a few minutes. True happiness was what I was experiencing now. Like a supernova explosion, a new star had lit up on my firmament – my womb. Crazy dances barefooted on the yacht with my beloved were now in the company of a third. Jumping on the soft seats on the deck I felt as light as a feather. I didn’t feel my weight but flitted above it. I united with the moon, the stars, the sea, the Universe. I was spi

So much happiness was heaped upon me in one go; such a massive cosmic gift which I still had to accept. Sometimes we are given such big gifts by fate that it turns out we aren’t able to accept them. We can’t accommodate them and run away from them. Once we lose them we feel regret. But I had matured for this gift. Now I was a mother. And this is a completely different status for a woman, a new meaning and experience of herself. Now I was a true woman!

One healer in Mexico called don Bartolomeo doesn’t give consultations to women who haven’t yet given birth or at least those who haven’t found themselves a couple. He usually tells them: “First work through your sexuality, open up motherhood in yourself, and only then come to me with your questions. What spiritual growth can there be talk of if you have not yet gone through this?” Of course there is also another path of spiritual development; asceticism, monasticism and eternal virginity. But that’s another story.

Week 3

I felt like a 15-year-old who had just fallen in love. Walking down the road I could feel the freshness of the trees that had come to life after winter; the scent of the first budding leaves, the scent of first love, an explosion of life, a brand new wave. A bud was budding in my belly too. I felt that the processes inside me were taking place with explosive-like speed. I couldn’t keep still for a minute. A wave of energy. Drive. Adrenalin. Movement. I constantly longed for adventures, trips and journeys.