AlterWorld

Dear Max,

After careful consideration, we've found your idea original, legally viable and ambiguous enough to give it a green light. However, we have a few key conditions.

1. You can't transfer the patent to a third party without administration's approval.

2. The company will receive 80% of all profits from the sales of your item by automatic taxation on every sale.

3. We expect you to increase sales gradually and would appreciate your consideration of the market's stability and public feeling.

For our part, we can guarantee you our full legal support.

Chief of the AlterWorld Financial Department: Mr. Dave Lee

Oh well. Curiouser and curiouser. Had they just dealt me the role of a pawn in a big boys' game? Having said that, it wasn't as if I had any alternatives. I could play it safe and mix with the crowd, or I could take a few risks diving into the heavyweights' slimy money ponds and surfacing with profit. That way I could gradually acquire enough weight myself to be able to tackle tasks more serious then choosing the right shoe color. To do that, I needed to reach top levels as well as achieve financial stability and support from friends or clanmates. I still had to think about it all. But this tobacco thing demanded my immediate attention. It looked as if I'd been the first to have successfully jumped through all the hoops, so the company had decided to take a chance on me. Tobacco trade was such a gold mine that I'm sure the admins would back up the devil if he somehow managed to skirt around the smoking ban. I had to accept their offer. This wasn't the right moment to haggle over the terms. I pressed Confirm.

Fine minutes later, I received another message, this time from AI.

You've been granted permission to generate recipe: "The Emperor's Smoldering Delight".

Category: Class D Food.

Price of basic recipe: 400 gold

Price of unique recipe: 4000 gold

Price of patent: 2000 gold for 1% coverage

You've been granted permission to generate recipe: Yellow Brown Dye, tasteless, odorless.

Category: Class E Food Colorants

Price of basic recipe: 100 gold

Price of unique recipe: 1000 gold

Price of patent: 500 gold for 1% coverage

Total price of the basic package: 500 gold

Total price of the unique package: 5000 gold

Total price of the unique package with maximum patent: 30000 gold

Without even thinking, I accepted the last version. The gold clinked, making me thirty grand poorer. I had five thousand cash left.

Congratulations! You've received a unique recipe "The Emperor's Smoldering Delight"!

Requires level 50

Requires 100 Cooking Skill

Ingredients: Swamp Lily leaves, Juice of Millefleurs, Pollen of Gigantic Fly-Trap

Congratulations! You've received a unique recipe "Yellow Brown Dye, tasteless, odorless".

Required level 50

Requires 100 Alchemy Skill

Ingredients: Juice of Brown Fern, Wax from Forest bees, Spring water

Would you like to learn the recipes?

Yes! A moment later, I had the skill I needed. Now my alchemy was up to date but I still had to level up my cooking skill. Not a problem. I opened the auction and ordered two basketfuls of sandwich fillings of various difficulty levels. I also discovered tons of recipes from the happy selling crowd. After an hour and a half of slicing, layering and wrapping I was the proud owner of three hundred indestructible sandwiches and a precious skill.

I checked all the ingredients I needed to make the dye and tobacco. The dye was no problem. Its ingredients were so easily available that the cost of production turned out to be around 1 silver. After another half-hour, an army of fat vials lined up on my table.

Tobacco proved more difficult. Either Gigantic Fly-Trap didn't grow here or nobody bothered to collect its pollen, and it was only available from two sellers. One of them was asking 2 silver for a batch while the other, for some reason only known to him, demanded one gold for the same quantity. I bought up the former's entire stock which amounted to sixty doses, then PM'd him offering to buy any quantities he might happen to have. Then I set up auto buy with the task of buying all six ingredients in bulk for a setup price. This way I could get the cream of the auction's crop. The auto buy didn't charge much—3% of the deal—but promised to save me a pretty pe

And things got rolling.

By the evening, I finally made it to my recliner, took a swig of strong coffee and a tug on a cigarette, the first in this world. Jeez, it felt good. And the way the smoke wafted around! The real-world manufacturers would have jumped off a cliff for my iridescent smoke recipe.

I finished the cigarette, rolled my eyes and lingered in the chair, enjoying the fragrance. Even more important was the fact that I wasn't ruining anyone's health by selling the stuff. All I was doing was helping others enjoy their habit.

Time to run field trials. I stuffed all the rollups into my bag—about two hundred in total, costing 4 silver each—and walked downstairs into the main hall. As always, evenings were pretty busy. I walked over to the bartender, exchanged a few words and ordered a shot of brandy. With a practiced gesture, I produced a cigarette and flicked it into my mouth. I slapped my pockets, searching for a lighter, found none and made an international gesture as if asking him for a light.

Mechanically, he reached under the bar and struck a match. His hand froze halfway to the cigarette. His eyes stared at my mouth. I leaned forward and lit up. Then I inhaled, just like in that cowboy advert, and let out a cloud of smoke. His eyes grew enormous as he stared at his own reflection in the iridescent smoke rings. He made a very peculiar movement with his nose, taking in the familiar aroma. His burned fingers twitched as he dropped the match.

"S-s-spare a smoke?" he stuttered, voiceless.

With pleasure. I offered him a rollup. Breaking matches, he finally lit up and drew in a lungful. Slowly he exhaled. His face was euphoric. "This is too good…"

Everybody spoke at once.

Apparently, the patrons had long left their places and surrounded us, waiting for his verdict. Now they all fought for my attention, interrupting each other, all saying the same thing, "Spare one, sell some, leave a few, please!"

"One per head," I shouted over the noise as I handed out the precious sticks placing them into their impatiently shaking fingers.

A minute later, the i

A teleport popped outside in the courtyard. The door shook and collapsed, hanging on one hinge. A bloodied paladin in dented armor burst into the hall, oozing drops of blood onto the floor. His life pulsated in the orange zone. But he didn't seem to care. His nostrils widened as he sniffed the air. His practiced eye singled me out in the crowd. Avariciously he headed for the bar.

Someone uttered his name, recognizing the famous knight. "Fuckyall!"

He held out a compelling palm. I placed a cigarette into it and struck a match. The warrior inhaled, closed his eyes and exhaled through both nostrils. Then he loosened up as if someone had deflated him. The hard expression left his face; his lips curved into a smile.