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No, she was not worried.
Especially in those moments when they were finally alone. Those borrowed spaces of time when he was hers, entirely hers. She began to loosen her mental grip of him, little by little, and to her relief and her joy, his response to her only became braver. His hands more possessive. His caresses more daring.
The first night they spent together, he whispered a single word into her hair.
“Sol…”
Simultaneously filled with pain and pleasure, joy and rage, Levana had grit her teeth and held him closer.
When the dome brightened over the white city the following morning, Levana let him sleep until the servant entered to bring her breakfast. Mortified and distraught, Evret lay in bed, frozen, while Levana ordered the servant to cut and butter her rolls. Slice her fruit. Prepare the tea that she had no intention of drinking.
When the servant had gone, Evret scrambled from the sheets. She saw the moment when he took in the spots of blood on the white cotton. How quickly he turned away. How hastily he pulled on his clothes, muttering curses beneath his breath.
Sitting up against her feathered pillows, the tray settled across her lap, Levana dropped a berry onto her tongue. It was sour. Cha
“Not this,” Evret said, without facing her. “I didn’t think you would push it this far. I didn’t think—” He fisted a hand into his hair, cursing again. “I’m so sorry, Princess.”
She bristled, a
“No. My daughter … she’ll have been with the na
Levana glared at his muscled back as he pulled his shirt over his head.
“I will pay for the na
He sat on the edge of the bed to pull on his shoes, shaking his head. Then, hesitating, he dropped the first shoe back to the floor. His shoulders slumped in defeat. Levana gri
“I tried to leave. A week ago.”
Levana hesitated, pulling her finger out of her mouth. “Leave?”
“We were packed and everything. I was going to take Winter to one of the lumber sectors, learn a new trade.”
She squinted at the back of his head. “A new trade doing what? Toppling trees?”
“Maybe. Or at a lumber mill, or even making wood moldings, I don’t know. I just wanted to be anywhere but here.”
Aghast, she set the tray aside. “Then why didn’t you? If you’re so desperate to get away—”
“Her Majesty wouldn’t allow it.”
She froze.
“I gave her my resignation, and she laughed. She said she was having far too much fun watching you make a fool of yourself to let me go now. She even threatened to send guards after me and Winter if I dared to leave without her consent.”
Levana shivered. “I don’t care what she thinks.”
“I do. She’s my queen. She controls me as much as you do.”
“I don’t control you.”
He looked at her, finally, but his expression was bewildered. “What do you think this is?”
“I’m—! I barely—!” She dug her nails into her palms. “You want me as much as I want you. I see it in your eyes every time you touch me.”
He laughed, a cruel sound, so different from the warm, kind laughter she remembered. Gesturing at her face, he yelled, “You’re wearing my wife’s face! She was gone for two weeks and I was miserable and then she was back and I … but she’s not back. It’s you. It’s just you, and you don’t think that’s manipulative?”
Shoving the blankets aside, Levana scrambled into the robe left on her vanity chair. “It’s my face now. This is who I am, and you can’t tell me that what happened last night was a mistake. That you didn’t want it.”
“I never wanted this.” He massaged his brow. “The court is talking, and the other guards. The rumors about us—”
“What does that matter?” She choked down a calming breath. “I love you, Evret.”
“You don’t even know what that word means. I wish I could make you understand that.” He gestured to the empty space between them. “Whatever this fantasy is that you’ve built in your head. None of it is real. You are not my wife and I … I need to go be with my daughter. The only part of her I have left.”
Levana cinched the belt tight, then stood there, shaking with anger, as she watched him pull on his boots.
“You will marry me.”
He paused briefly, before snapping the last buckle at the top of his boots. “Princess. Please. Not again.”
“Tonight.”
He stared at the floor for a long time. A painfully long time.
She didn’t know what she expected to see when he finally lifted his head, but the nothingness surprised her.
They stared at each other for a painful, hollow moment, until it occurred to Levana that he had not said no.
She gulped, pressing forward. “I will find an officiant and we will meet in the sun chapel at nightfall.”
His gaze again fell to the floor.
“Bring your daughter if you’d like. She should be there, I think. And the na
She would be his wife—he could no longer say that she wasn’t.
She would be the mother to his child.
And the rumors would stop, for no one would dare speak ill of the princess’s husband, the queen’s brother-in-law.
“Well?” she said, daring him to say no. Already she was feeling for the energy that surrounded him, ready to bend him to her will if he denied her. This was for his own good. This was the only way to solidify their family. Their happiness.
Releasing the top of his boot, Evret slowly stood. His absent expression had turned sad.
Sad?
No, sympathetic. He felt sorry for her.
She frowned, casting a wall around her heart.
“You have a chance to find love, Princess. Real love. Don’t throw that away on me. I beg you.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “I have already found love. I have shared my bed with him, and tonight, he will be my husband.” She attempted a smile, but her confidence was waning. He had bruised it so many times, and she didn’t want to face rejection now. She didn’t want to force him into this.
But even as she thought it, she knew that she would, if that was the only way.
Evret pulled his weapon holster over his head, his knife hanging on one hip, his gun on the other. A guard. Her guard.
“Well?” Levana demanded.
“Do I have a choice?”
She sneered. “Of course you have a choice. It is yes or no.” Levana ignored the twist in her stomach that told her she was lying. He would not say no, and it wouldn’t matter.
But still, she was surprised at how vulnerable she felt as the seconds ticked past. He wouldn’t say no. Would he? She held her breath and sent—just a subtle tenderness into his thoughts. Just a warm reminder that they were meant to be together, forever.
He shuddered, and she wondered if he knew she was doing it. She stopped, and watched his shoulders relax.
“Evret?” She hated the whine in her voice. “Marry me, Evret.”
He did not meet her eyes again as he crossed to her bedroom door. “As it pleases you, Your Highness.”
* * *
The officiant wrapped the gold ribbon around Levana’s wrist, explaining the significance of their union, the magnitude of the occasion as he tied a knot. He then moved to Evret, taking a second ribbon from the dish on the altar and knotting it around Evret’s wrist. Levana watched closely as the shimmering ribbon settled against his dark skin. His arm was so much broader than hers, making her bones seem bird-like in comparison.