Wonder

Mr. Tick is certainly bored of his ticks. I watch him blame Mrs. Tock for being a boring wife who can’t find a way for him to spice up his life. Mr. Tick really hates London. He hates the rainy weather, the drunks late at night, the football games, and calls it a boring city. Mrs. Tock keeps telling him that soon the Wonderland Monsters will arrive, and the city will become incredibly entertaining. Mr. Tick says it’s all lies, like there’s never been a real Severus Snape in Harry Potter.

The couple are so bored that Mrs. Tock doesn’t mind finding me in her kitchen. She doesn’t ask how I got inside their secret hideout. Worse, she doesn’t remember who I am.

This is going to take some time.

“Tea?” she offers me.

“Please.” I am trying to think of the right words to explain to her that I am from the future and that she is supposed to help me.

“I don’t know how to please my husband,” she complains. “I mean, our marriage was perfect the first two thousand years. The love, the cuddles, and all the things we did together. But then, a thousand years after a thousand years, things went down the drain.”

“How long have you been married?”

She scratches her head. “I really forgot.”

“Never mind.” I wave a hand, like a good neighbor chitchatting with her. “I’m sure it’s been a long time. Ever had kids?”

“Mr. Tick doesn’t want to.” She lowers her head. “He thinks he is still young. He still chases young girls.”

“Midlife crisis.” I rub my cup.

“He says I’m boring,” she explains. “That I’m always late.”

“You’re Mrs. Tock. It’s who you are.”

“See? I’m meant to be late. All women are meant to be late. We need time in front of the mirror.”

“I agree.” Now that I can finally stare into a mirror.

“Of course, he doesn’t need a mirror. First of all, he is too tall for all mirrors. Secondly, he has no hair to comb.”

“Three hairies, I believe.”

“I’m surprised you can see them.” She snickers. “He keeps lubricating them, combing, and even dying them. All for that girl he’s liked recently.”

“I’ll bet she is young.”

“Nineteen. Can you believe it? He’s easily her great-great ancestor. Her name is Lorina.”

“Lorina?”

“Lorina Wonder.”

I rest my case. I have nothing to say.

“Now he wants a divorce, which we’re not allowed to have.”

“Of course. What would the world be without a tick and a tock?”

“I’m glad you understand,” she says. “He’s looking for a cure for baldness these days.”

“I bet he’s been looking for it for a few thousand years now.”

“And it’s all a hoax. Can’t grow back hair unless you go back in time.” Mrs. Tock laughs. “So do I know you?”

I haven’t told her my name. “I was sent to you from the future.”

She bursts out laughing. “Nice one.”

“No, really,” I say. “Two years in the future you sent me back here. You gave me this address and told me you can help me when something goes wrong.”

Mrs. Tock’s face dims. She doesn’t like what I’m saying at all.

“Listen.” I am trying my best to embrace my Bad Alice personality, but it’s not working. “You were supposed to send me a day back, but you messed up, and I need you to help me go back to yesterday.”

“You’re insane.”

“Not anymore.” I grin. “If you don’t help me, I will die in the next few hours.”

Chapter 62

THE PRESENT: A HOTEL ROOM IN OXFORD

The Cheshire booked a room in the hotel after they’d told him they had a DVD player inside. In spite of being pe

The Cheshire entered the room and turned on the DVD, then pushed a stolen version of Titanic in. People had told him Titanic was the cheesiest when it came to illogical portrayals of romance on film.

The Cheshire liked that. He was experiencing the same thing in Jack’s head; his continuing love for Alice both a

An hour and a half into the movie, the Cheshire was weeping into tissues—he was glad no one was watching him.

But he couldn’t help it. Love and sacrifice were new concepts to him, let alone coming from the freakin’ humans.

He began regretting the way he’d earlier celebrated the Bad Alice’s return with the Queen of Hearts on the phone. Of course, Alice being the Real Alice satisfied his insatiable desire to hurt humans in this world. But only if he hadn’t entered Jack’s body and brain.

Why did I ever possess his soul?

Now, sitting here, his tears wetting his cheeks, he didn’t know whether to help Alice become a hero or resort to the evil one she had always been. It was a shame she didn’t know someone like Jack loved her so much. Even the Cheshire had begun having feelings for Alice.

How he wished someone loved him this way. The last cat he’d loved back in Belgium was a fraud. She was after the delicious rat he’d just caught.

But maybe the Cheshire was destined to become Jack. Alice’s lover. As weird and creepy as it was, even to him, it seemed his only way out of his pain of being a nobody.

Possessing any soul he wished didn’t prove him as invincible as he’d always thought. It was time for the Cheshire to be somebody. Jack seemed like a good choice.

Besides, he had begun to fall in love with the card player.

But still, sometimes the older Cheshire rose inside and wanted to vomit all of this love out. Yuck. It was as bitter as expired milk.

The Cheshire, confused like never before, sat on the bed with one last idea in his head. The most interesting, actually. He vowed not to make a decision about Jack’s love for Alice, not before he knew why Jack came back for her.

If he could only locate that part of the memory in Jack’s brain.

Chapter 63

THE PAST: BIG BEN, LONDON

“Go away!” Mrs. Tock shrills. “Who are you? Time travel isn’t possible.”

“Please, Mrs. Tock,” I say. “You promised to help me. How else do you think I figured out your hiding place?”

“Go away, you creepy girl in the wheelchair.”

I use her fear and wheel myself after her, creeping her out. “Think of it. I know a lot of things about you. Things no one else knows.”

“Like what?” She steps away from me.

“Like Mr. Tick loves tea.”

“So?”

“And brownies.”

“So what?”

“He never lets you near his brownies.”

She stops and stares skeptically at me. “It still doesn’t prove you’re from the future.”

“Tell you what.” I squeeze her against the wall with my wheelchair. “Forget about who I am. If I make Mr. Tick love you back, will you help me?”

“Says the young, inexperienced girl in a wheelchair.”

“Just humor me. Go now and stop time. He will like it.”

“We’ve stopped time a million times. It’s boring.”

“Because it never occurred to you to mess with people,” I say. “Stop time and push a car over the cliff. Make one woman bore into another’s nose. Switch things. It’ll be fun. He will like it.” Sorry, world. I have to do it.

“You think?”

“Just do it!”

***

I spend the next hour trying not to think about the crazy accidents happening in London when time stops. Mrs. Tock returns with a broad smile on her face. “He liked it.” She jumps in place. “He even swore to forget about Lorina Wonder. Who are you, creepy girl?”

“Says the creepiest woman in history.” I roll my eyes.

“What did you just say?”

“Was just coughing. So are you going to help me?”

“Only because you made my husband like me.” She sits next to me and rubs her chin. “Why do you want to travel back in time?”