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But the title by itself looks sweet on a t-shirt.
Joe
* * *
Read the end, fantastic...made some small changes...
1. took this out: "in a mini-reenactment of the trade towers' collapse" - that's going to pull everyone out of the moment.
2. changed what Zeke the dog is eating to a rat per Adam's earlier scene...makes sense a rat and not a dracula would have escaped the hospital.
3. changed Dr. Mortenson to Dr. Cook...not quite as on the nose.
4. Put Clayton's death (just the last paragraph) after the 2nd to last Sha
Paul - can you drop a choice chapter excerpt into your folder? I'll add it to the manuscript
Jeff - please finish the interview.
I think Joe and I are good with this draft to begin proofing if you guys are.
Blake
* * *
My wife finished reading it, and loved it. But she had a few concerns.
1. She still holds out hope that Clay somehow survived.
2. She guessed Mortenson was Moorecook the moment he picked up the kid.
3. She didn't like it saying "the end." because Driscoll and the Zeke scene were unresolved, she felt it should end with "To be continued..."
4. She's pissed we killed everyone.
I explained to her that the building was incinerated, and that Clay was 100% dead, but if it wasn't clear to her, it won't be clear to others. So we should consider making it either more final, or more ambiguous about the possibility of him surviving.
But keep in mind that the more threads we have hanging, the likelier we are to a
Blake changing Moretenson to Cook is better, and maybe we should go with Paul's original line and have him ask Sha
Maria feels it ended too abruptly, which is a clear sign she wanted more. That's fine, but I don't want that dissatisfaction to result in bunch of one star Amazon reviews. Perhaps that could be nullified if we have the first chapter of DRACULAS 2 as a bonus feature.
As for killing folks, she cried at the death scenes, so I think they worked. But I don't want people finishing this book confused and angry.
Blake, gimme a call and I'll put you on the phone with my wife.
Joe
* * *
Also, we need to keep an eye on a few consistencies.
Some internal monologue is in italics. Some isn't. We should unify it one way or the other.
Also, Clay calls them "draculas." According to Blake, that's what they're called in The Passage, which I haven't read, but which came out after we had the idea for Draculas.
Might want to not call them "draculas" so we don't sound derivative, even though we came first. We might want to stick with the full length "draculas."
Incidentally, the title "Draculas" came from a Twitter joke I did on March 27, 2010.
"There's nothing to fear, but fear itself. And Draculas. There's probably one in your closet right now."
I liked it enough to repeat the joke in CUB SCOUT GORE FEAST that I wrote with Strand, and then had a eureka moment when I realized it would make a good title for a horror book.
Joe
* * *
When I put it up on FB, one comment was, "Oh, I thought it was 2 new authors - Crouch Kilborn and Strand Wilson." Of course, he was being facetious.
Paul
* * *
That Crouch Kilborn guy is a dick.
Joe
* * *
Done - a sequence from MIDNIGHT MASS.
Paul
* * *
1. She still holds out hope that Clay somehow survived.
Nothing wrong with hope. But he and Alice are together in that Great Shooting Range in the Sky.
2. She guessed Mortenson was Moorecook the moment he picked up the kid.
That's because she's smart (choice of spouse notwithstanding.)
3. She didn't like it saying "the end." because Driscoll and the Zeke scene were unresolved, she felt it should end with "To be continued..."
No reason we can't put "(Not)" or "(Not really...)" beneath it. We've been having fun with the readers all along. Why stop now?
4. She's pissed we killed everyone.
Not Sha
That said, I'm not a fan of epilogues in general and this one is no exception. Ending with the baby nursing on Moorecook's blood hints that the story is going to ramp up to another level. The epilogue puts us back to square one: the start of another epidemic. I'll go with what the majority decides, but that's my $0.02.
Paul
* * *
"Blake, gimme a call and I'll put you on the phone with my wife."
Oh hell.
Blake
* * *
I see what Paul's saying to this extent...end with current epilogue (which can become a deleted scene) it ends with oh, the thing continues. End with Mort saying I have plans, we get a sense that it's escalating into maybe a world-wide thing, which is very cool. I'm still on the fence...
Blake
* * *
I'm fine with using the epilogue as an alternate ending or extra scene, and omitting it from the main manuscript. Or using at as Chapter 1 of DRACULAS 2. I'm not nearly as interested in a government dracula testing lab as I am a werewolf outbreak. New genre, new toys, new monsters.
My son just finished reading the book. Liked it. Was pissed Clay died.
I'm also pissed Clay died. That's 3 for 3 in the Konrath house for at least making it more ambiguous.
Stacie and Randall had poetic death scenes that were emotional.
Adam's was heroic. Je
Clay's death is like a bad joke, without the laughter. He's hands down the favorite character. While the other deaths make sense, this one seems cruel. Even in a horror book.
He's your creation, Paul. If you want him to die, we won't fight you on it.
But I'm directing the hate mail I get to you. And in talking to my wife and son, I'm go
I think we could head off that hate mail if he grabs Alice, the building explodes, and his last thought is, "Oh, shit." Then there's always the possibility he comes back.
Joe
* * *
By the way, Paul, it's your own damn fault for writing a great, likable character.
Joe
* * *
I think he's gotta die. It brings a certain closure.
In DEEP AS THE MARROW I had a character named Poppy who I had to kill because her arc demanded it. I got tons of angry mail. But you know what? People remember that book because Poppy died. If I'd found a way to let her live, it might have been, Meh.
Look, I can take out the fusing with Alice scene and leave it a little ambiguous, leave a little hope. If we do a sequel, and we want to bring him back, we can find a way.
Paul
* * *
I vote for leaving it ambiguous.
Joe
* * *
I vote strongly against making it ambiguous. If Clay is on the roof when the hospital explodes, he's dead. We've gotta play fair. Suggesting that we might offer some sort of implausible explanation in the sequel for how he survived isn't going to placate readers.
I also vote to get rid of the epilogue, which makes the book feel like we're trying to set up two different sequels.
Jeff
* * *
Clay isn't on the roof. He's down a few floors.
Here's the thing, guys. We're releasing this as an ebook, and before it goes live 200 people are going to review it.
I love nihilistic endings. I thought the end to The Mist was one of the greatest endings in modern horror films.