Soundless

What is it like? Li Wei asks, his face solemn once more. Being able to hear?

I shake my head. It’s too hard to explain.

Why? he asks.

Even describing it . . . well, it uses words you wouldn’t understand. It’s like another language.

Then use words I do know, he suggests.

I think long and hard before answering. Imagine if everything you saw, your entire life, was always a shade of gray. Then one day you blink, and suddenly you see the world as it is with all its colors. Blue, red, yellow. How would you react? How would you handle literally not having the words to describe what you’re experiencing?

Some things don’t need words, he says after a moment, and I wonder if he’s still talking about sound.

Everything needs a word, I insist. We need to know how to describe the world. Otherwise we’d fall into ignorance.

Spoken like someone who spends her days organizing and cataloging everything. Sometimes it’s enough to just feel. You don’t have to label and articulate all that’s around you.

I roll my eyes. Spoken like a barbarian.

He laughs at that, and there’s a warmth in it that makes me smile. We split one of the lunch packs and then begin climbing down once more. There are a few more close calls as small stones skitter down the cliff. I’m able to warn him with tugs of the rope, but our system is cumbersome and delayed. A couple of times, when he clears his throat or coughs, my attention is immediately drawn to him by those sounds. It gives me new appreciation for how our ancestors used to communicate with their mouths: speech. The concept was always foreign to me when I read about it, but now I see how much simpler it would be if there was a sound I could make to warn Li Wei of the next avalanche.

Morning gives way to noon, and we see a huge plateau jutting out of the mountain, promising another break. Beyond it, I can actually make out the ground at the mountain’s base. Hope surges in me that we might pull this off after all. Then I hear the sound signaling another avalanche. I look up, and it is not a small scattering of stones like we’ve encountered before. Large boulders are tumbling down toward us. They create vibrations in the cliff face that even Li Wei can sense, though he doesn’t immediately ascertain the direction.

I have no time to tug and point. Clinging to my rope, I push off with my feet and swing toward him, knocking him off the cliff face. He loses his footing but keeps hold of the rope. For a terrifying moment, we are both swinging in the air, with only our grip on the ropes to keep us from falling. A cascade of rocks begins tumbling beside us, far too close. The sound created is soft at first, almost like an exhalation of breath, but soon grows into a roar as the stones increase in number. One of them strikes my head, and I wince. The instinct to shield myself with my hands is overwhelming, but letting go means certain death. Both of us scramble for footholds, trying to move out of the way of the growing rock fall.

Li Wei swings hard and almost manages to land on another small outcropping, but the added weight of being tied to me throws him off. A second attempt also fails. He tries yet again, harder this time, and is at last able to land on the edge. With his footing secure, he scuttles back and tugs me toward him with the adjoining rope. My feet make contact with the ledge, and he pulls me forward into his arms, leaving us cowering against the mountain as a full-on avalanche of boulders cascades beside us. The falling rocks keep triggering more avalanches, and it is spectacular and terrifying to watch.

When it finally ends, we are both shaking, shocked by how close we came to being caught in the full force of it. I let him hold me a few moments longer before reluctantly breaking the embrace. He gestures to my cheek.

You’re bleeding, he says.

I vaguely recall the rock that hit me and am now aware of a stinging sensation. I lightly touch the side of my face with my fingertips and see blood when I remove them. I dab again and see less blood. It’s nothing, I say. It’s already stopping.

Here, let me clean it. He pulls his sleeve over his hand and reaches for me. I shrink back.

What are you doing? I ask.

Wiping up the blood, he says.

Not with that filthy shirt! I retort. And I told you, I’m fine. No need to stain your shirt even more.

I’m a barbarian, remember? His grin fades as concern returns to his features. Perhaps we should rest longer.

For me? I ask indignantly. I get to my feet and hope I’m not still shaking. There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m not some delicate flower. I’m ready to go now.

Fei, it’s okay if we take a break, he says. There’s no need to let your pride get the best of you. Again.

Again? I ask, unable to ignore the barb. I gesture imperiously to the rope. Just fix it so that we can keep going.

He gives me a mock bow. Yes, apprentice.

Tension fills the air between us as he readjusts our line to set us on a new trajectory down. My hands hurt badly, even with the gloves, but fear and pride compel me to keep my grip through the discomfort. We continue rappelling down, and though we are still cautious, both of us move a little more quickly. That last avalanche was too close a call, and we’re eager to make it to the plateau I’d noticed earlier and finally get a real rest. Closer and closer it gets, and despite Li Wei’s warnings, I find myself sneaking peeks down. I don’t know what I was expecting in the lands near the mountain’s bottom, but the terrain below us looks similar to what we left behind on the mountain’s top, filled with green, dense forest. The only difference is that from this height, it is all in miniature, almost as though we’re looking down at an incredibly lifelike map.

When we are level with some of the trees growing on the plateau, I hear another boulder above us—in Li Wei’s direction. I tug the joining rope and nod. He scurries to get out of the way, but in his haste, his grip on the rope slips.

He loses his foothold, and all I can do is gasp as he starts to fall. The rope around me snaps tight, pulled taut around my torso by his added weight, cutting off my ability to get air. I jerk forward, struggling to keep my grip firmly on the rope. Gravity wants to take me down with him, and the rope begins to slip through my fingers.

I fight for breath, watching the terror on Li Wei’s face as he is suspended in the air, hanging only by the rope co

Gritting my teeth, I squeeze my fingers tightly around the rope, refusing to give another inch. More wild maneuvering from Li Wei throws me off balance, causing me to lose my foothold on the cliff. I cling to the rope for dear life now, but I can see it is a losing battle. Li Wei’s weight is too great, his pull on the adjoining line too strong. Pain sears my stomach as the rope digs into me, stretched as taut as it can possibly get. My hands slip again down the rope, and I struggle to draw breath until—

—in seconds, it’s all gone.

The pressure is gone. There is no more pull, no impossible weight for me to fight against. I can breathe again.

Because the rope has snapped, and Li Wei is falling.

There is nothing to save him, and I can only watch in horror as he falls the rest of the way down, his eyes wide with terror. I hear my second human scream in as many days. This time, it’s my own.