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But despite all my internal questions, I wouldn’t voice any of them to Sean. I couldn’t give him any more false hope when I truly believed it was Lily Brogan who’d died in the dumbwaiter of Mac’s new home. The thought was realistic but depressing enough that I forced myself to brush it away and tuned back in to Eric and Sean’s conversation.
“Until we hear from the medical examiner,” Eric was saying, “we won’t know for sure how the victim died.”
“Or if it’s even my sister?” Sean asked.
“Frankly, we won’t know that for certain until we check dental records and run DNA tests.”
“I’ll be happy to submit my own DNA if you need a comparison.”
“I’d appreciate it.”
“Not a problem,” Sean said. “I want answers even more than you do, Chief.”
“I know that.” Eric paused in his official tone and ma
“Thanks.”
Eric stood. “Let me get a swab of your DNA and then you’re free to go. I’ll be in touch as soon as we know anything.”
The two men shook hands and the interview was over. But I couldn’t have been more pleased that they had formed an alliance to find justice for Lily.
* * *
It was pouring rain by the time we left the police station. I dropped Sean off at his small Craftsman-style house on the east side of town, after extracting a promise that he’d meet me and some of the guys at the pub later for di
Before he jumped out of the truck, Sean turned to me, wearing a sheepish look. “I guess you were right.”
“How so?”
He shrugged. “Eric seems like a good guy, so I’ll call him if I think of anything that might help with the case.”
I grabbed him and gave him a hug. It warmed my heart to hear him say it. I hoped it meant that he wouldn’t turn into a gloomy hermit anytime soon.
As I drove home, my thoughts were consumed by Sean and Lily. The closer I got to my house, the more the weight of the discovery of Lily’s bones hit me. I began to tear up again and knew I needed to pull myself together or I wouldn’t be able to continue driving. It was bad enough that there were bucketfuls of rain hampering my visibility. Tears would not help matters at all.
Lily Brogan had been a beautiful girl with dark red hair and perfect skin. She was two grades ahead of me, so it was a shock the first time she ever spoke to me back in grade school. She’d said, “Sorry to hear about your mom, Sha
My mother had died a slow death from complications brought on by diabetes. It wasn’t easy watching her fade away. A week after her funeral, I finally went back to school.
“Thanks, Lily,” I’d said, feeling tears form in my eyes. How was it possible to cry this much? “I really miss her.”
Lily must have heard the catch in my voice, because she’d put her arm around my shoulders and squeezed a little. “It’s a blessing to have good memories of your mother. You should cherish those, because not everyone is that lucky.”
At the time, I was too wrapped up in my own grief to realize what she was really saying or to recognize how mature her words were for someone so young. But years later, in high school, I found myself alone with her again while we waited for the library to open.
“Hey, Sha
“Hi, Lily. You look so pretty. I love that blouse you’re wearing.”
“You sure? You don’t think pink clashes with red hair?”
“Not at all,” I’d said, wondering if she was fishing for a compliment. “I’d wear it anytime. It looks perfect with your complexion. Who told you it clashed?”
She had made a face. “My mother. She said I looked like a whore.”
I was stu
Lily had brightened. “I won’t say a word—promise. We redheads have got to stick together.”
I’d loved the thought that we could be in some exclusive club together. “You know it.”
“Does your mother ever say stupid stuff like that? Oh, wait.” She’d given herself a sharp smack in the head. “I’m so sorry, Sha
“That’s okay. I’m just sorry your mom hurt your feelings.”
I had been surprised to see her eyes get watery, but she’d quickly sniffed away the tears and gritted her teeth. “I don’t care. I won’t have to live at home much longer.”
“Are you going away to college?”
“One way or another. I’ve applied for a bunch of scholarships, so I’m hoping to get one of them.”
“You will,” I had said with enthusiasm. “You’re really smart and talented. Everyone’s going to send you offers.”
“You’re sweet, Sha
Memories faded as I stopped at another red light at the edge of the town square and watched the rain pour down on the windshield. Everyone in town had been shaken when Lily disappeared only a few days before the opening of the a
I braked at a stop sign. Thinking about those conversations with Lily was stirring up memories of my mother’s death. Somehow our brief chats had always revolved around our mothers. Because of that we had shared an oddly special bond, despite our two-year age difference. Now I wondered if Lily had wished her own mother were dead. Or if, after seeing my pain, she might have tried to bridge that gap and make an effort to be closer to her mom.
Sadly, that would’ve been a lost cause. Mrs. Brogan, in her own way, had been as awful a parent as their father had been. And now I could see maybe Mac had been right earlier when he said that it was sometimes hard to tell which was worse, the abuser or the enabler.
Lily’s mother’s words had been terribly hurtful. And those were just the words Lily had told me. There had to have been so many more instances that were even worse. So yes, Lily had been physically beaten by her father, but I wondered if the kind of emotional thrashings she’d had to endure from her mother might’ve been just as devastating and probably longer lasting.
Wow. It really made me appreciate my parents and the relatively easy childhood they’d given me.
A few blocks from home, I remembered that I needed to pick up a pound of coffee and a quart of half-and-half for the morning. I pulled into the supermarket parking lot, found a place, and turned off the engine. I had to sit there for a minute, as all the confusion and heartache of those days came rushing back. It was painful to find out that Lily had never really disappeared; she’d been in town all this time. But nobody had ever thought to search for her inside the deserted lighthouse mansion. Could she have been saved? We would never know.
A dreadful thought occurred to me. Even if someone had thought to search for her in the mansion, would they have found her curled up inside the dumbwaiter? As soon as I pictured it, I had to shake off the image of Lily inside that cramped space. I jumped out of the car and ran through the rain into the market.