Cruel and Beautiful

Drew, both of our parents, Sha

“So, any late additions to the wedding we need to worry about?” my mom asks.

“Not that I’m aware of,” I answer. “I pick up my dress tomorrow.”

“Whatever you do, don’t let Drew see it. It’s bad luck.”

“I know, Mom. He won’t peek, I swear.” I catch Je

“What can’t I see?” Drew asks.

“My dress. I pick it up tomorrow.”

“Right. I won’t peek. I’m not concerned about the dress, only what’s hidden underneath it.”

Letty gasps, “Drew McKnight! Shame on you! A wedding gown is a bride’s pride and joy.”

Drew acts chastised, but I know better. “I’m sorry, babe. Clearly I wasn’t thinking. I was only being an insensitive man.”

I want to snort at that. “It’s okay. I’ll think of a way you can make it up to me.” The fact is, Drew really doesn’t care about the gown. But once he sees me in it, he’s going to flip. It’s gorgeous. It’s not what you’d call a traditional looking dress. It’s a white silk halter dress that’s sleek and body skimming, making it very sexy. It has a lace cover up that gives it a discreet look for the church ceremony. But, for the reception, I’ll remove the lace and the dress then becomes much more revealing. At first I was hesitant to buy it, even though I loved it and it looked awesome on, but Letty, Mom, and Je

“What’s that look for?” he asks.

“Oh, nothing.”

“Yeah. You’ve got something up your sleeve.”

Je

“Did you all do something to me? Like booby trap something of mine? I know how you girls are when you get together,” he says.

Now we laugh even harder. “No, no booby traps. Go on and get out of here. You need to hang with the guys and leave us to our girl talk.” He leans down and kisses me.

“Okay, but if you put dye in the shower head, someone’s in for it.”

“Um, Drew. Why would we do that? I use that shower, too.”

“I know. But you’d rig it just so and wait with a camera so you could catch me on video.”

“Cate, that’s not a bad idea,” Je

“Drew, you’d better get out of here before you give her any more ideas.”

“Oh, don’t worry. She has plenty. Did she not ever tell you about the time she put saran wrap over all the toilets in Ben’s and my apartment?”

I look at Je

Je

“Eww. That’s gross.”

I look at Letty and my mom. Their expressions are hilarious. We all start cracking up.

Then Drew says, “What’s so foul about it is we didn’t even realize it until Ben started puking.”

I hold up my hand. “Stop! That’s disgusting.”

Je

We look at her and now I really do pick up a hamburger bun and smack her in the head with it. The rest of the night goes from one story to the next until we can’t laugh any more. We sit outside on the deck and I’m on Drew’s lap as we tell our stories. What a great way to christen our new home.

Ten days later, I walk down the aisle on my dad’s arm as Drew waits to receive me, and I become Cate McKnight. It’s the middle of June and for Charleston, the weather couldn’t be any better. It’s eighty degrees with low humidity, which is actually cool for this time of year. The breeze is gentle, though it wouldn’t really matter because all of our activities are indoors. Neither of us wanted to risk dealing with a chance of thunderstorms.

As soon as I step into the aisle to make my way down to Drew, all I notice is him. Everything else fades away—the people, the beautiful flowers, the wedding party, and even my dad, who has been crying off and on for most of the day. When we get up to Drew, my dad hands me off, and I look into Drew’s crystalline blue eyes as they gleam with happiness. His smile is radiant and I want this picture of him to stay forever in my mind—this perfect image stamped eternally on my soul. His hand is warm as he takes mine and his fingers fold over my shaky ones. He mouths the words I love you, and it takes all I have not to kiss him. Then he mouths, I was wrong about the dress. That gets a giggle out of me. We turn and walk up to the altar. The episcopal priest awaits us to perform the marriage ceremony and I hand off my flowers to Je

It’s fu

My morbid thoughts, thankfully, are interrupted, because it’s time for us to take our wedding vows. We deliberated over writing our own, but we eventually settled on letting the priest use the traditional ones. But Drew surprises me. After I’m done with mine, and he says his, the priest looks at him and nods.

Drew turns to me and says, “Cate, Catelyn, I knew the day I saw you I was finished. You caught me, only you weren’t aware.” He looks down and bites his lip for a beat. Then his head lifts, and his irises lock with mine. My heart feels like the wings of a hummingbird. One hand releases mine and cups my cheek. “Oh, Cate, I hope to give you the world, and I’m going to do my honest to god best. You could’ve run, but you didn’t, which tells me everything. Now I need to tell you everything.” The hand that was on my face grabs my free hand and places it on his chest. “This is yours for as long as there are beats within it. Everything I have is yours. My love, my heart, my soul, and my life, for however short or long it may be.”

I can’t breathe. My face is wet, and the reason I know is he wipes my tears. Then he leans in and whispers, “Breathe, Cate.”

Breathe? I can’t even swallow. Blink. I can blink. So I keep doing it, and he keeps wiping my eyes. Finally, the priest tells him to place the ring on my finger and he says some other things, but his words have collapsed me. I need some time alone with him. Like right now. Why did he do this to me? Here?

The priest a

“Jesus, Cate, I didn’t think.”

I throw myself at him and just cry. I need this moment to purge this out of me. “Just hold me,” I say. My tears run dry and I pull away. “A little warning would’ve been good.”