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The words came out before she could overthink or analyze. It felt perfect and even though the little aluminum ring wasn’t what she had imagined during the occasional daydream when she’d pictured a handsome suitor sweeping her off her feet, the reality was that while Wilder was no Prince Charming, he was the prince of her heart and if she wanted a happy ever after, it would be with him.
He slipped the foil ring on, pressing it against her skin. “I’ll buy you a ring soon,” he said. “I promise to do this right.”
“You already have,” she murmured, leaning in to brush her lips against his. “You’ve done better than right. You’ve done amazing.”
“I needed you to know that I’m in this no matter what, because I want to be,” he said before she could say another word. “Because I don’t want to be a hermit anymore.”
Qui
Wilder glanced to the wall clock. “It’s time.”
The hospital was close. Her heart sped up but when Wilder slid his hand into hers, the strength of his grasp pressed that thin sliver of aluminum foil against her skin and it made her feel less alone.
“I’ll see you soon, Daddy.” She leaned forward and kissed his forehead. She hadn’t called him Daddy in years but right now she felt reduced to a scared little kid, the one who used to cower when thunderstorms roared over the mountains. He’d always tell her the angels were bowling and even though she knew it was silly, the image made her giggle and pushed the scary feelings away.
After they got to the hospital, she took a seat in the waiting room, and passed Wilder a magazine.
“I’m okay,” he said.
“Sorry, I meant please read to me.” She was desperate for distraction.
He glanced down. “Country Homemaker. Okay, let’s see what we can do.”
For five minutes his low voice rumbled about how to make the perfect fruit cake. She clung to every detail from soaking the dried fruit in rum to when to add the molasses.
“Qui
Qui
The fact let her keep walking even though it felt like she was on a pirate ship in the Caribbean, tiptoeing along a plank and not looking down. No point making eye contact with the hungry sharks. They’d have their turn soon enough.
The nurse smiled and Qui
By the time they were shown into a small waiting room, her heart was beating so loud that she couldn’t hear what Wilder said. His lips moved. His brow furrowed in concern.
“What?”
“Are you all right?”
“I . . .” She had this handled, right? No. Maybe? God, how does anyone handle these last few moments of waiting without coming out of their skin? “I’m going to throw up.”
He dragged over a garbage can and went to the sink, taking a paper towel and ru
She wanted to argue but didn’t have the strength. Instead, she did what he said and found that it did feel better. A little cool water on her flushed cheeks. Who knew?
“When I was in the fire,” Wilder said, “I thought the worst would happen. Dying in a fire was my biggest fear and there I was, looking at it happening. And it seemed like my entire life had boiled down to that moment. The thing that scared me, the burning shadow that haunted all my nightmares was going to come true.”
“What did you do?”
“For a moment I gave up,” he admitted. “I decided this was it. I rolled on my back and all I wanted to see was the sky. I figured if I could go out seeing blue then at least that was something. But instead all there was was smoke, thick and heavy, and while it sucked it was good because it cleared my head.”
“What did you do?”
“I said I wasn’t going to be beaten. If it was my day to go, that was fate’s business, but I’d fight until the end.”
“What if I’m afraid?” Qui
His features were gentle. How had she ever thought them mean? “Being afraid and fighting back is the true meaning of courage.”
There was a knock on the door and Qui
“Of course you will,” Wilder murmured as the door opened. “It’s who you are.”
The doctor entered, looking over her chart. “Looks like you had quite the night.”
“Excuse me?” It took Qui
“There’s a note in the system that you left before finishing your complete physical.”
“I felt fine,” she said. “I had to go last night, for personal reasons.”
“Yes. Mmm. Now for the test results. Well, I might have a few surprises.”
Seriously? This is how they were going to tell her that she was going to have Alzheimer’s, with a surprise! This wasn’t like a five-year-old’s birthday party.
“The Alzheimer’s test came back negative.”
It took a second for the words to sink in. “Negative?”
The doctor smile gently. “You aren’t a carrier.”
“Oh. Oh my God. My God.” She started crying and reached for Wilder. He pulled her close in a bear hug, and even though his grip was strong, she felt the tremble course through his body.
“But I haven’t gotten to the surprise yet. But perhaps it is not a surprise?”
“Wait, okay.” Qui
“You’re pregnant.”
“Pregnant?” She reeled back, unable to keep her voice even semi-steady. “But how? I’m not even late and am taking birth control.”
“It’s very early.” The doctor’s mouth tilted at the right in a small half-smile. “The blood work was done as part of your physical last night. It can detect pregnancy six to eight days after ovulation.”
The examination table felt suddenly wobbly. “Are you sure?”
“Why don’t I leave you two alone?” the doctor said. “We’re not busy today so take as much time as you need.”
The door opened and closed, and Qui
Chapter Twenty-One
THERE WAS A long, awkward silence.
“Say something,” Qui
“Baby.” It didn’t seem real. Qui
“I really am on birth control,” she said quickly. “I wasn’t trying to trap you or anything. I guess there isn’t a perfect statistical track record with taking the pills and—”
“Stop.” It was as if the smoke cleared and he finally saw his life’s purpose in crystal clarity. “Stop trying to explain.”
“I’m sorry.”
Shit. He hadn’t meant to raise his voice. “Wait, I—”
“I can handle this on my own.” Her voice was flat.
“Handle this?” He took by both her shoulders. “In five minutes we’ve learned you won’t get sick and we are going to have a child.”
She nodded tearfully. “It’s a lot to take in.”
He pressed a hand against her cheek, ru
Her brows flew upward. “Are you sure? I mean, it’s one thing to call me Trouble as a joke but this will change everything for you.”
“I never thought this would happen. I’m scared shitless, but a family is what I’ve wanted more than anything.” He pressed his other hand over her flat stomach. “After the fire I thought my purpose was gone. I didn’t realize that the past had to burn for a new future to grow. You. Us. This baby. This is my real life.”