Life and Death

“What if I can’t control it? What if I hurt you?”

“Don’t panic, Beau, I know you can do this. Hold your breath. Run away if it gets bad.”

“But Edythe—”

She put her finger to her lips and stared southward.

It wasn’t long before a set of headlights turned into view.

I was expecting the car to pass. After all, the wolves wouldn’t even fit inside the little sedan. But it slowly came to a stop not far from where we waited, and I realized it was Bo

Then two of the wolves were there, coming from the forest on the other side of the road. They split to move around the car on either side; it looked protective. The woman in the driver’s seat got out and came around to get Bo

Clearly she didn’t just look strong. She picked Bo

Sam and the dark brown wolf led the way as the tall woman carried Bo

“I can’t see as well as you,” I heard Bo

“Hello, Bo

“I can’t see, Paula,” Bo

“Carine Cullen,” Bo

“But you were wrong,” Edythe said.

“That’s what Sam says,” Bo

“All we have is Beau’s word and our own. Will you believe either?” Edythe asked.

Bo

“Please,” Carine said, and her voice was much kinder than either of the others’. “We’ve never hurt anyone here. We won’t start now. It would be better for us not to leave immediately, otherwise we would go without an argument.”

“You don’t want to look guilty,” Bo

“No, we would rather not,” Carine said. “And in truth, we are not in breach.”

Bo

“Bo

She winced at my voice.

I was out of air. I gripped Edythe’s hand and took a shallow breath. Still upwind, it was okay.

“I know I look and sound a little different, but I’m still me, Bo

“So you say.”

I raised my free hand helplessly. “I don’t know how to convince you. What I told Sam was true—another vampire bit me. She would have killed me, too, except that the Cullens got there in time. They didn’t do anything wrong. They were always trying to protect me.”

“If they hadn’t gotten involved with you, this would never have happened! Charlie’s life wouldn’t be broken in pieces—you’d still be the boy I knew.”

I’d had this argument before, and I was prepared. “Bo

She flinched.

“If the Cullens hadn’t been here, those other vampires would still have come to Forks. They might have killed more than me while they were here, but I can promise you, if Charlie had survived, he would be missing me just the same. And there would be nothing left of the boy you used to know. You might not be able to see it, but I’m still here, Bo

Bo

“We’ll stay here another year. We’ll leave after Edythe and Archie graduate. It will look natural that way.”

Bo

“We understand,” Carine said softly. “There was no harm done. Maybe even some good. It’s better to understand each other as much as possible. Perhaps we could even talk again some—”

“The treaty is unbroken,” Bo

Carine nodded once.

Bo

The breeze shifted.

Edythe and Carine both grabbed my arms at the same time. Bo

“What are you doing to him?” Bo

“Protecting you,” Edythe snapped.

The dark brown wolf took a half-step forward.

I took a quick breath, preparing myself to run if it was bad.

It was bad.

Bo

And yet, while I wanted to quench my thirst… badly… I knew instantly that I didn’t have to. I wouldn’t want to be any closer to her, no, but I was pretty sure I could handle it even then. I’d expected that when the newborn thing reared its ugly head, I wouldn’t be able to think or decide. That I wouldn’t be a person anymore, I’d be an animal.

I was still me. A very thirsty me, but me.

It only took half a second for me to figure all this out.

“No, don’t worry, Bo

Edythe slowly took her hand off my arm. Carine looked at me, her face kind of… awed.

Bo

“So it sounds like I won’t have a chance to talk to you again,” I said. “And I’m sorry it’s that way. I guess I don’t understand all the rules yet. But since you’re here, if I could just ask one favor…”

Her face got hard again. “What?”

“My dad.” My breath did that weird hitching thing again and I had to take a second before I could go on. Edythe put her hand on my back, but it was for comfort this time. “Please, just… take care of him? Don’t let him be alone too much. I never wanted to do this to him… or my mom. That’s the hardest part of all this. For me, it’s fine. I’m good. If only there was anything I could do to make it better for them, I would, but I can’t. Could you please watch out for him?”

Bo

“I would have done that regardless,” Bo

“I know. I couldn’t help asking, though. Do you think… you could let me know if there ever is something I can do? You know, from behind the scenes?”

She nodded slowly. “I suppose there may be some of Beau left after all.”

I sighed. She was not going to believe it if I told her that all of me was left, that there was just more added on top.