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TOP SECRET DOSSIER
CODE NAME: BEANPOLE
REAL NAME: MIKEY BUCKLEY
YEARS ACTIVE: 1977–82
CURRENT OCCUPATION: CHILDREN’S BOOK AUTHOR, NERDS CONSULTANT
HISTORY: IF ONE COULD SUM UP
THE MANY TALENTS AND GIFTS MIKEY
BUCKLEY POSSESSES IN A SINGLE WORD,
IT WOULD HAVE TO BE “BRILLIANT.”
A RARE GENIUS WITH AN UNRIVALED
IMAGINATION, BEANPOLE IS BELIEVED
TO BE THE CREATOR OF THE BENJAMIN
ORB, THE UPGRADE CHAIR, FRENCH TOAST
STICKS, AND THE MOON BOOT STILTS
THAT ALLOWED HIM TO RISE NEARLY
FIVE STORIES ABOVE THE GROUND. I
COULD LITERALLY GO ON AND ON ABOUT
HOW COOL THAT KID WAS … AND HE
WAS GOOD-LOOKING, TO BOOT. BUT WHAT
COULD I SAY THAT HASN’T BEEN
SAID IN THE THOUSANDS OF
BIOGRAPHIES WRITTEN ABOUT
HIM, OR THE FOUR FEATURE
FILMS THAT ALL WON
OSCARS, OR THE ALBUMS
OF SONGS BY NIRVANA,
MADONNA, AND TAYLOR SWIFT
THAT HE INSPIRED? I MEAN, IF
YOU HAVEN’T READ THE BOOKS OF
POETRY ABOUT HIS HAIR ALONE,
THEN YOU’VE BEEN LIVING UNDER
A ROCK. SO, SUFFICE TO SAY,
BEANPOLE WAS THE GREATEST AGENT
IN NERDS HISTORY.
UPGRADE: WHAT COULD TECHNOLOGY
GIVE HIM THAT THE GOOD LORD HAD
NOT GENEROUSLY BESTOWED? THE
BOY WAS SIMPLY AWESOME!
When the NERDS used the ball pit to return to the present, they agreed that they needed to keep their end of the wormhole open no matter what, just in case Agent Brand made it back. They closed all the other ball pits out in history, and Heathcliff adjusted the facial recognition software on the Playground computers in hopes of spotting their boss somewhere in time. But it gave them no word of Brand or Ms. Holiday.
Still, there was good news. The present the children came back to was changed for the better. The Playground was no longer buried under concrete. President Lipton had never been arrested and the NERDS organization was still a national secret.
Ruby hoped she would find things at home altered, too. As she walked toward her house, her palms began to itch. She was allergic to uncertainty. What would she find beyond that door?
“Get in here out of the cold,” her mother said, opening the door before she could even knock.
“Good news, sweetpea,” her father said when she came through the door. “We found a hotel for everyone.”
“And it’s got a pool,” Cousin Fi
The rest of the family followed. They were all there! Every single one!
“We’ll be out of your hair in no time,” Aunt Laura said.
“This hotel better have an elevator,” Grandpa Saul said.
“Of course it has an elevator. What hotel doesn’t have an elevator?” Grandpa Tom cried.
Predictably, a huge spat broke out with everyone bickering and talking at the same time.
“I’m going to order everything on the room service menu,” Cousin Imogen said.
“Don’t go,” Ruby said.
“Huh?” her parents said simultaneously.
“I want you to stay,” Ruby said.
“But sweetie, you’re go
“No place I’d rather be. You’re my family. As much as you fight, it’s a miracle we can all stand to be in the same room together. I want that miracle for this holiday.”
“I call the bathtub!” said Grandma Tina.
That night, when everyone had found a space on the floor to sleep, Ruby caught the news. The lead story was that President Lipton had a
“Being the president of this great nation has been a wonderful experience and a huge responsibility. I think we’ve gotten a lot done in the past three years, but that work has come at the expense of my family. Someone told me once that family has to come first, and she was right. So tonight I’m a
Lipton took his wife and daughter in his arms and hugged them both as reporters charged forward with cameras and questions.
Ruby smiled. She and her team would have to keep a close eye on Tessa. She had upgrades and a nuclear-powered time machine, but Ruby hoped that the soon-to-be former First Daughter would no longer need it—or her second face.
The next day, Heathcliff and Jackson walked to Heathcliff ’s parents’ house.
“What if it doesn’t work?” he asked. “The upgrades didn’t exactly tell me how the nanobytes would get my family back.”
“Then they’ll just think you’re some weird kid, and we’ll go back to the drawing board,” Jackson said. “Do you want me to go in with you?”
He shook his head.
“All right, Agent Hodges, good luck.”
“‘Agent’?”
“Ruby told me to tell you. She’s going to need all the help she can get managing all the new recruits,” he said. “Now get going. Oh, and good luck, buddy.”
Heathcliff smiled. “Thanks … buddy.”
He raced up the sidewalk and threw open the front door.
“Mom! Dad!” he cried.
His mother was the first to appear. “Who in heavens are you?”
“Mom, it’s me—Heathcliff. I’m home!”
“Thomas! Thomas, there’s a strange kid breaking into our house,” she cried.
Thomas came into view. He had a golf club in his hands and he was holding it threateningly. “Get out of our house!”
“Dad! Don’t you know me?” Heathcliff asked.
“I’m calling the police,” his mother said. She took out her phone and called 911. “If you don’t want any more trouble, I’d leave right now.”
Had the machine fooled him? Was it one of those super-dumb lessons he was supposed to learn? Like at the end of a book, when the fairy appears and tells him he had all the power he ever needed inside of him. That would be pretty lame, and he’d end up getting arrested.
“There’s the siren,” his father said.
Heathcliff panicked. They were going to take him away and his family would never know who he was. No! He couldn’t let it end like that. They might not know him, but he needed them to know he was sorry for all the things he had done and that they were great parents and that all his mistakes had nothing to do with them. He needed them to know that their boy loved them dearly.