The Cheerleaders of Doom

“We can’t leave,” Ms. Holiday said.

“We’re the only thing standing in the way of that monster,” Brand said. “We’ll stay and fight him as long as we can.”

Wheezer clenched her fists. It couldn’t end like this! She had to do something. There was no way she was going to let Heathcliff Hodges, or whatever his stupid name was, take over the world. She would stop him even if this world lost its Matilda.

She reached into her utility belt and found her inhalers, but her hand brushed up against the stone statue her mother insisted she take with her to cheerleading camp. She looked down at it, remembering that her mother had told her old grandfather would protect her from danger. Heathcliff qualified as dangerous. With a blast she rocketed into the air. Though her heart was racing, she focused all her mind on her hands, willing the nanobytes in her bloodstream to congregate there, to turn on their power, and to let it build and grow. She could feel her fingers burning as she stopped a few yards from Heathcliff’s gigantic noggin.

“Only one Matilda left?” he said, laughing maniacally.

“You never thought much of me, Heathcliff. You thought you could label me—misfit, nerd, fighter—but it turns out there’s a lot more to me than even I knew.”

“Yes, now you’re a cheerleader. What a complete waste of time. Now fly away before I swat you.”

Matilda was starting to feel dizzy. The power in her hands was intense and threatened to overcome her. She only had to hold on for a few more seconds until the nanobytes were at their maximum charge. She reached into her utility belt for the old grandfather statue, then shoved it into the tip of her inhaler.

“Give me an O!” she shouted.

Heathcliff smirked. “What is this silliness?”

“Give me a U!”

Heathcliff fired another stream of heat vision at her, which she narrowly avoided. “Why won’t you die, already?”

“Give me a C!” she said.

“When I get my hands on you—”

“Give me an H! What’s that spell?”

“Ouch?”

“Yeah, ouch!” And then she squeezed the trigger on her inhaler. The stone statue blasted toward Heathcliff. Its blunt end slammed into the glowing bridge device and the helmet shattered. It also smacked Brainstorm in the skull with a savage force. There was a huge explosion and Matilda flew backward, slamming her head hard onto the ground. She could feel blackness overtaking her. She was sure she was going to die. Her heart felt like it was ready to leap from her chest. But she had to see. She sat up and watched Heathcliff’s giant head waver off balance. There was a loud groan and then he fell over backward. The last thing Matilda saw was a nasty red welt form right between his eyes.

When Matilda opened her eyes, she found her six brothers standing over her.

“Awww, man! She’s alive,” they cried.

“No one is getting my room,” she said.

“Monkeys! Out!” she heard her mother shout and the boys scattered. Her mother and father were standing over her hospital bed. Molly was holding the old grandfather statue in her hand. Ben was pacing.

“Um, am I OK?” Matilda said, looking at the monitors and tubes attached to her arm.

“The doctors say you’ll be fine,” her father said. “I’m sure we don’t need to tell you that you’re grounded until you’re forty.”

“Your librarian says it was a cheerleading accident. I say shenanigans!” Molly said.

Matilda took a deep breath. It was time to tell them the truth. She sat up in bed and described the last year and a half of her life. She told them about her abilities and the missions she had been on. She talked about walking in space and going to alternate realities. She told them about Mr. Brand and Ms. Holiday and the lunch lady and the rest of the team. She explained about Nathan Hale Elementary, and when she was done, she sat back and looked at her parents’ astonished faces.

It was then that Mr. Brand stepped at the room. “Mr. and Mrs. Choi, I am sure you have a million questions. I am fully prepared to answer them when you are ready.”

“Oh, you will!” Molly said.

“What happened to Brainstorm?” Matilda asked.

“He’s heavily sedated. They’re pumping him full of drugs to keep him asleep. The science team believes that if he wakes up, he’ll be able to cause more chaos, so he’s going to stay in dreamland for a while.”

“If he wakes up, I’ll be ready,” Matilda said. “And the cheerleaders?”

“All safe and sound,” Agent Brand said, “though McKe

“Did we save the world?”

Brand nodded. “As far as I can tell, we saved all of them. Get some rest, Agent Wheezer. It won’t be long before we need you to save us again.”

The goon knocked out the window at a tiny roadside motel room and let himself in. He went straight for the bathroom and stood before the filthy mirror staring at his bandaged face. He had to know what was underneath. Using his hook he slashed at the bandages. What he uncovered could hardly be called a face—red and raw with exposed skin and muscle. It was grotesque.

In anger, he punched the mirror. It shattered and fell into the sink.

“You sacrificed me for your own foolish plan,” he raged, as if his boss, the child, were standing in front of him. “You threw me away like I was trash, and look where it got ya. You’re a freakish monster filled with sedatives. They ain’t never going to let you wake up. Well, I’m not sitting around waiting for ya anymore. It’s time this goon got promoted.”

He reached into his coat pocket and removed a black mask with a skull painted on the front. He slipped it over his wounded face and then stared at the menacing villain before him.

“Looks good on ya, bud. It’s got just the right amount of fear and mystery. That’s the kind of face that makes people tremble. And tremble they will. Look at me, world. Look at the man who’s going to rule this planet. Look at the Antagonist!”

GIVING YOU THIS TEST HAS BEEN HARD ON ME. LOOKING INTO YOUR FREAKY EYES HAS GIVEN ME NIGHTMARES. WATCHING YOU SWEAT AND STAMMER AND TALK TO YOUR BELLY BUTTON HAS NOT HELPED, EITHER. THE TRUTH IS IF I HAD TO DO THIS ANY LONGER, I MIGHT GO NUTS MYSELF! SO LET’S SEE HOW YOU DID. GO BACK AND TALLY ALL THE QUIZZES FOR YOUR NUMBER. HEY, WE’RE DOING MATH—THIS TEST TOTALLY TIES IN WITH THE CASE FILE!

OK, TELL ME THE TOTAL.

OH BOY!

36–100: PASS. YOU ARE CERTAINLY ECCENTRIC. YOU PROBABLY HAVE A FEW RESTRAINING ORDERS ISSUED AGAINST YOU. STILL, WITH A DOCTOR’S SUPERVISION YOU WON’T HURT ANYONE. YOU CAN STAY ON THE TEAM.

101–212: PASS. IT MUST BE EXHAUSTING TRYING TO KEEP YOURSELF FROM STRANGLING PEOPLE, BUT SO FAR, SO GOOD! JUST TRY TO REMEMBER THAT THE SATELLITES AREN’T WATCHING YOU AND YOU’LL PROBABLY BE FINE. YOU CAN STAY ON THE TEAM.

213–392: CONDITIONAL PASS. WOW! YOU’RE PACKED AND READY TO MOVE TO CRAZYTOWN. YOU NEED LOTS AND LOTS OF SUPERVISION AND PROBABLY QUITE A BIT OF BRAIN SURGERY, TOO. IF AFTER THAT YOU CAN STILL FEED YOURSELF, WE’LL CONSIDER PUTTING YOU BACK ON THE TEAM.

393 AND BEYOND: FAIL! OK, KEEP YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM. WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? YOU’RE CARRYING A DEATH RAY AND YOU’RE NOT AFRAID TO USE IT? THAT’S A BANANA, PAL! NOW LISTEN, THESE MEN IN THE WHITE COATS ARE GOING TO TAKE YOU SOMEWHERE YOU CAN REST. YES, THEY’RE YOUR FRIENDS. AND LOOK! THEY BROUGHT YOU A NEW JACKET! WOW, LOOK AT ALL THOSE FANCY BUCKLES AND LOCKS! YOU SHOULD TRY IT ON TO SEE HOW IT LOOKS ON YOU. THAT’S RIGHT … PUT ON YOUR STRAIT—I MEAN, YOUR NEW JACKET. WHAT’S THIS? OH, IT’S JUST A LITTLE INJECTION TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER. IT WON’T HURT AT ALL. YES, JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES. SOON YOU WILL BE SOMEWHERE VERY NICE, AND GUESS WHAT? THERE IS GOING TO BE JELL-O! MMM, JELL-O! THAT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL MUCH BETTER.