Sweet Nothing

I shook my head, my eyes feeling raw and heavy. “I can’t leave her, Qui

Qui

I took Avery’s hand in mine and kissed her fingers, closing my eyes. “Okay,” I said, standing. “You won’t leave her?”

Qui

I nodded, trying to laugh at his joke. If Avery didn’t wake up, I wasn’t sure I’d ever laugh again.

I picked at my fingernails, nervous about seeing Qui

I thought back to my time in the ER before the crash. Qui

A quiet knock sounded on the door. Deb walked in first, followed by Qui

“Hi,” I said simply.

“Hi, Jacobs,” Qui

“You can call me Avery,” I said.

He was wearing his paramedic uniform, the navy-blue T-shirt and matching cargo pants with boots. I wanted to reach out and hug him, if just to feel that fabric against my skin again, but I continued picking at my nails.

Qui

“He’ll wake up,” I said, unsure where the confidence came from.

One corner of Qui

“Weird news travels fast.”

“Josh would love to hear that. He was into you. He talked about you a lot before …” Qui

“I shouldn’t have pulled out before looking. That was stupid,” I said.

Qui

“He called you? From the scene?”

Qui

I smiled. “She’s pretty.”

Qui

My eyes burned, and I nodded. None of what happened was possible, yet it had happened. All of it.

“So, I think it’s nice that you dreamed of him. I don’t think it’s weird at all. Matter of fact, I bet he’s dreaming of you, too.”

I blinked, letting tears fall for only a second before wiping them quickly away. “Have you heard any news? They won’t tell me anything.”

Qui

“They’re going to pull the plug?” I asked, sitting up.

“They don’t have a lot of money, Avery. Josh had minimal insurance. They’ll keep him alive as long as they can. I know. It makes me furious. The guys have started a fundraiser.”

I bit my lip. Desperate times … “Qui

“Sure,” he said, amused through his sadness.

“Is your last name Cipriani?”

He nodded.

I looked at Deb. She shrugged. “You could have heard that or seen that, Avery. You know I want to believe you, but that doesn’t prove anything.”

“Doesn’t prove what?” Qui

“Does your mom make really, really great pie?”

Qui

I breathed out, smiling.

“Avery,” Deb warned.

Qui

“It wasn’t a dream, Qui

Deb walked over to the opposite side of the bed and touched my shoulder. “Qui

I pushed her hand away. “I can describe your mom’s apartment. I can describe the way her pies taste. I can tell you about Josh’s parents.”

Qui

“I know what you’re thinking. I’m not a crazy stalker, Qui

“I’m sorry, Avery. You haven’t been to my mom’s house.”

“House?” I asked, swallowing.

“Avery, stop,” Deb begged.

“What do you want me say?” he asked.

“I want you tell Dr. Weaver that you believe me. I want you to convince her to put me back under.”

“Avery!” Deb said.

I looked down, resolute. “Medically induced comas are done all the time. You can sell all of my things and put me in a nursing home.”

“Avery, enough,” Deb said, getting angry.

“He’s probably worried sick about me!” I yelled. “I have to get back to him somehow!”

Qui

I looked at Qui

Deb’s face flushed bright red, and she gestured for Parsons to escort Qui

Qui

Deb shook her head. “Why didn’t you tell me this was your plan? I do a favor for you, and you lie to me?”

“I’m sorry.” I wiped my cheek. “I just have a few days left, and I don’t know how much longer they’ll leave Josh on the ventilator. It was a last-minute decision.”

Deb sat, digging her elbow into my mattress and resting her head in her hand. “Tell me more.”

I sniffed. “Really?”

She nodded, sincere.

“We’d just finished hanging the last painting on the wall of the apartment.”

“Really? I thought you didn’t like to put holes in the walls.”

“Because it didn’t feel like mine. Josh didn’t understand why it made me so happy to watch him hammer holes into the paint.” My breath caught. “Because it was ours. We’d made it into a home.”

Deb nodded, resting her chin in her hand.

“Josh had just finished setting up the crib. He wanted to decorate her nursery in fire and rescue stuff.” I made a face. “So we compromised. Pink and gray firetrucks and ambulances.” I touched my flat stomach. “He was such a proud father. Now he’ll never be able to hold her. I’ll never be able to hold her. I might never be able to hold him.”