Sweet Nothing

A sharp knock at the door caused me to jerk my head up, wondering if Avery no longer felt like this was her home. Had she left her keys? I looked around, but couldn’t focus.

“Come on, man,” Qui

My heart sank. I needed to hear my wife’s voice. I had to know she was okay.

Stumbling across the room, I twisted the lock on the handle and pulled it open.

Qui

“Where is she? I need to see her.”

He shook his head. “You really fucked up this time, Josh.

“No, I didn’t. I swear to God, Qui

Qui

“The nightstand?” I cringed, imagining Avery’s reaction when she found them, and how hurt she must have been. “I’d let Hope use our machine earlier that day.”

“Your washer and dryer stack are over there,” Qui

I rubbed the back of my neck. “Avery warned me. She tried to tell me Hope was up to no good. I didn’t see it. I didn’t see it because I’m so in love with Avery.”

He still didn’t look convinced.

“Hope did it on purpose, Qui

Qui

“I never fucking touched her! You have to believe me. I swear on my unborn child. I’ve never cheated on Avery, I’ve never even thought of Hope in that way.”

“Don’t swear on your baby, Josh, Jesus Christ.”

“It’s the truth.”

Qui

I breathed out a sigh of relief. “Thank you. I need to explain to Avery. Can you make that happen?”

“No.”

“Qui

“You need to back off, man. Deb’s really worried about her. So am I. She isn’t in a good spot. She needs some time to think.”

“She can have time. She can have everything she needs, but I have to know she’s coming back. I’m going fucking crazy here, Qui

The muscles worked under the tight skin of Qui

I began to panic. “She is … isn’t she?”

Qui

“She wouldn’t hurt herself. She has headaches and flashes, Qui

Qui

“I need to see her. I need to tell her the truth. The stress is making her worse.”

“Worse? She’s been this way for a while, Josh. I tried to tell you. We all have. You can’t keep ignoring it. Avery needs help.”

I tried to fight against the whiskey fog that was making it all difficult to process. I was angry with myself all over again.

“You should clean yourself up, man,” Qui

“She can’t hate me any more than she already does.”

Qui

“Deep down, Avery knows I wouldn’t cheat on her. She’s just … having a hard time.”

“I hate to say it, brother, but all signs point to a different conclusion. She might be having ‘a hard time,’ but women without a head injury have suspected worse with less evidence.”

“She is having a hard time.”

“And you’re not helping her by making excuses. She doesn’t need you defending her mental state to the world. She needs medication, Josh.”

“I’m not defending her. She hasn’t done anything wrong,” I snapped.

Qui

“I know. I’ll fix it.” I sank down on the edge of my bed, my head hanging as my entire world crumbled around me. “If I just knew how.” My voice was barely a whisper as I thought back to Kayla. I couldn’t help her either.

Qui

I nodded.

“Give her some time, and when she’s ready, you go to her. Explain about Hope. Then you need to get her an appointment with a neurologist.”

“She won’t. She’s scared of what they’ll say.” I let my lashes fall closed, sending the tears that pricked my eyes cascading down.

“She’s scared because she doesn’t understand what’s going on with her health, and now her marriage is falling apart. She might be mad as hell, but she needs you.”

I nodded, swallowing back the lump in my throat.

“I’m go

“Sleep it off. She isn’t going anywhere.” He cupped my shoulder in his hand and then walked away, disappearing out the bedroom door. A few seconds later the apartment door slammed closed, and I fell back on the mattress, letting my sadness take over.

Despite my drunken stupor, it was almost impossible to sleep. I drifted in and out of consciousness, dreaming of Avery coming home and having nightmares that she never would.

When the sun finally cast shadows on the walls, I grabbed my phone. The screen read 7:04 a.m. It wasn’t too early to head over to Qui

I showered, shaved, and brushed my teeth, feeling the way I had before our first date. I looked for the shirt she loved and spritzed on the cologne she always said made her unable to keep her hands off me. If I was going to win her back, I’d need all the help I could get.

I slipped on my jeans and shoes, grabbed my wallet, phone, and keys, and headed for the door. I swung it open, feeling mildly confident. If Qui

My keys dropped from my hands when I recognized the woman standing in the hallway, puffy and red-faced from climbing the stairs.

“Avery,” I breathed.

My purse slipped when I snatched it from the kitchen counter and it toppled to the floor. I crouched, picking up sticks of gum and pe

“Let me help,” Josh said.

“I’ve got it,” I growled.

“Can we talk?”

“I just came back for my vitamins, and no, I don’t have time. I picked up a shift today.”

“Picked up a shift? Avery, your anxiety is through the roof. Did Deb check your blood pressure this morning?”

“It’s a little high,” I said, wiping my hair from face. “Let’s not pretend you care.”

“Just hear what I have to say.” He looked so exhausted, so desperate, it was all I could do not to fall into his arms. But I had to be strong for Pe

I walked past Josh into the bedroom, searching in the closet for a pair of scrubs that still fit.

Josh stood in the doorway, watching me change out of my maternity jeans into scrub pants. I slipped the blouse off over my head and pulled on a matching top over the stretched skin of my belly. I reached down, feeling my belly button through my shirt.