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“There are these things that have been happening to me, Con. It’s real. I thought I had it figured out, I mean, how it happens. So you have to believe me. I can prove it.”
I drew circles with my fork in the syrup on my plate. Circles inside of circles; a line cutting through all of them.
Co
I took a deep breath.
He looked around, guiltily, like he wanted to be certain nobody was listening to him and his crazy friend. The kids who killed someone. “Okay. So tell me.”
“That woman getting out of the car on Forest Trail. Her name is Ellen Goodrich. She has two sons named Ben and Griffin. You could probably check in a phone book or something. I know who they are.”
“And she knows you, right?”
I didn’t say anything.
Of course she didn’t know who I was.
Nobody did.
“So let me tell you what I think,” Co
If this was Glenbrook.
“Okay. I want to know what you think, Con.”
He watched me lift a forkful of pancakes into my mouth.
“I have a feeling you were thinking about talking to that doctor. Weren’t you? Really talking to him, about that Freddie guy and what we did to him. Then you couldn’t do it. You couldn’t talk about it. That’s what I think.”
I swallowed. Picked up my coffee. “So?”
“So, then you started tripping out on all this other stuff. This nonsense about things we never did and people you don’t even know. A lens thing, these kids, whoever. That lady you scared over in Cracktown. Just to get in the way of what you need to do.”
“What do I need to do, Con?”
He always made everything so simple. That was Co
He crossed his fork and knife on top of his empty plate. “I figure you only have two options: You either forget about it and move on, we take off for England in a few days and it’s done; or we go tell someone, Jack. But you got to get it over with, once and for all.”
“That’s it?”
“Yeah.” Co
Co
This isn’t Co
I left him in Marbury, and he’s trying to find me.
I was scared.
I looked my best friend straight in the eyes. “This isn’t you, Co
Co
I pulled out my wallet, left a twenty on the table, stuck inside the ring of sweat made by Co
The center of the universe.
“You remember Blackpool?”
Co
“You remember having a fight?”
“Did I kick your ass?” He laughed.
“I’m not joking, Co
Co
“Nothing. Never mind. You’re right, Co
I stood up and started to make my way out of the diner.
Co
I didn’t want to look at him. I pushed for the door, almost knocked down one of those cheap wooden stands with free Glenbrook real estate magazines in it. And Co
The sky was gray.
It looked like Marbury, but the sun had just finally dropped below the mountains to the west and a white-hot sliver of moon hung in the thick furnace of evening.
Marbury: (noun) Third planet in order from the sun. No natural satellites. This planet, as the only in the Solar System which is inhabited by humans.
I think, standing there at the front of Co
There’s nobody home, Jack.
It was like being dead, or standing in the center of an endless cemetery.
THIS WAS THE HARDEST TO GET OUT OF.
I was done.
So I made a list in my head—first, second, third—the things Jack would do; the last things Jack would ever do.
Fuck this place.
I needed to get out.
“I’m sorry, Con,” I said. “I think I better go home. Maybe I need to sleep or something.”
Co
“I don’t want you to do anything weird, Jack. Maybe you should just spend the night at my place.”
I got in.
“Oh. I’d never do anything weird.”
That made Co
That was good.
I had to get away.
nine
It wasn’t completely dark yet when I left Co
I promised I’d bring his clothes back in the morning, and he joked that I didn’t need to bother returning them—because seeing them on me, he realized how gay they looked.
Before I drove away, I shook my head and rubbed my eyes. I felt like everything I ever knew was gone. I was just so tired.
I believed it was the last time I’d ever see my best friend.
But it wasn’t Co
* * *
I left my truck in the lot at Steckel Park and then I found the bench—the same one where I’d passed out the night Freddie Horvath took me and drugged me. I thought it was the same bench, but I couldn’t be absolutely certain.
I couldn’t be sure anything was the same anymore.
I knew what I was going to do. I had that cop’s business card in my hand. I was just trying to will myself to hit the SEND button on my phone. I’d already punched in the numbers, after I’d double-checked to be sure there was no contact listing for Ben or Griffin—like I’d almost convinced myself that I was just fucked up, that my friends would appear again out of nowhere, and everything would simply go back to being the way it was all supposed to be.
I’d talk to him and then I’d leave. I just needed to know one thing, and then Jack could pop out of this Glenbrook and not come back. And I didn’t care where I ended up.
The glasses were wrapped up in my stinking clothes, sitting under the seat in my truck.
And I thought, Maybe I just need to go find a dictionary, so I can see what words have been wiped out of this universe.
I swallowed, gritted my teeth.
SEND
“Avery Scott.”
“It’s Jack Whitmore.”
There was a pause. Maybe five seconds. And I heard him switch the phone in his hands, like he was putting it down so he could write something. Maybe he had to switch off the remote from the football game or the porn he was watching.
“Don’t put me on a speakerphone,” I said.
Another pause.
Things being moved again.
“Okay. You’re not. You want to talk? I can come to you. Where are you?”
“What’s wrong with doing it like this?” I said.
“If that’s what you want.”
“Okay.” I snapped my face to the side. The lights overhead in the park flickered on and a moth nearly flew into my mouth. “I just want to ask you how you know about me.”
“Look, Jack. I really think we should talk. Why don’t I come there, wherever you are?”
And I wondered if maybe he had some way of pinpointing where I was calling from.
“I don’t want to do that.”
“Nobody’s going to know anything about you. Is that what you’re scared of? The newspapers, the TV, they’ll never know your name or see your face. I just want to find out if you’re okay, kid. I need to know more about that guy. For the other kids. You know, their families. That’s all. I promise.”
It was the second promise Avery Scott made to me that day.
“What can you tell me?”
“I can show you what I got, Jack. What I got about you.”
He was lying.
There was nothing.
He couldn’t have anything about me.
My heart was pounding so hard I could feel it in my throat.
“Jack?”