Directing Disaster

“How’d you get Fr. Palmert to go along with this?”

Ben gri

Joey laughed.

“Okay, now about your daughter.  You know the paparazzi being here means that the crazed fan is going to know where she is.  How are we going to keep her safe?  Although I’ll tell you, I’m not convinced she needs to be protected.  I have a bruise the size of a grapefruit where she shot me yesterday.”

Ben pulled into his garage. And turned to look at Joey.  “Watch yourself.  That one is five feet four inches of intense, like a triple shot of nitrous oxide.  She called me after I started dating her mother and told me if I did anything to hurt her mother, she’d castrate me.  Not hurt me.  Not make me pay.  Castrate me.”  Ben shook his head and laughed.  “I have no doubt that she could do it too.  I had Lane enroll her in self-defense classes a few years ago.  And I’ve been taking the three of them to the range and we’ve been playing paint ball and laser tag.  She can handle herself.  It’s not that.”  Ben shook his head.  “She sniffled when I talked to her yesterday.  You have to understand, there are certain things that Jess Parker doesn’t do unless they’re written in a script.  Crying is one of them.  It ripped my heart out.”

They walked into the house, each into his bedroom and came out in their Brioni suits and Berluti shoes.

“A couple of months ago, I kept Lane here with me to keep her safe.”  Ben looked at his brother.  “Jess may not be a Bellini by birth, but she’s my daughter just the same.  Sometimes I think she’s more Italian than we are.  She understands the concept of protecting the family by whatever means necessary.  She called in a favor from Uncle Vi

“She called in a favor from Uncle Vi

“No one has told me, but I gather Uncle Sal still owes her.”

Joey shook his head and laughed.  “And I’m here to protect her?”

Chapter 15

the bells are ringing

The Bellinis and Lucianos were in the church.  All except Pauli, who was still in St. Louis; and Ben’s sister Marie Terese, who was in Italy managing the family’s vineyard.  Lane’s only family were her children.  Ben and Joey stood at the front of the church with Fr. Palmert, as Jess walked down the aisle carrying a small bouquet of ivory rosebuds.  Joey couldn’t take his eyes off her.  She wore a long sleeved, floor length, cream colored, jersey dress.  She could have been the bride herself. She stood at the front of the church. When the Wedding March began to play, she looked toward the back of the church, as both of her bothers escorted their mother down the aisle.

Ben couldn’t take his eyes off of Lane.  He’d never seen anything or anyone so beautiful.  She wore a long sleeved, blush colored, floor length dress.  It had a sweetheart neckline, emphasizing her beautiful figure.  She too, carried a bouquet of ivory rosebuds.  He needed to send a healthy tip to his florist.  Once again, she’d come through on short notice.

Fr. Palmert asked, “Who gives this woman?”

The three Parker kids in unison said, “We do.”

The wedding ceremony, from procession to “you may kiss the bride”, lasted only about 20 minutes.

Papa Bellini kissed his new daughter on each cheek.  “Bella, benvenuti in famiglia.  Welcome to the family.”

Mama Bellini kissed Lane on both cheeks.  “Bella sposa, non ho mai visto Benito così felice.  I’ve never seen my Benito so happy.”

Ben, Lane, Jess and Joey signed the marriage license, and Joey put it in his pocket.  Joey’s dilemma had been whether to sign his own name or Pauli’s.  The press thought he was Pauli, but Mama knew he was Joey.  The document was public record and if the press got hold of it, they’d be all over that he wasn’t Pauli.  In the end, he’d signed his own name, knowing that it was a legal document and he didn’t want anything to invalidate his brother’s marriage.  He also knew they had a few days before it needed to be filed.

Joey took Uncle Sal aside.  He’d really like to know what Jess had done that the uncles owed her a favor.  “Zio Sal, la bambina è in difficoltà.”

They stepped away from the rest of the family.  “Lei è sotto la mia protezione. UN pazzo si sta insinuando la sua.” Joey told his uncle.

He explained about the notes that had been left in her condo.  He told Sal that Ben had someone in L.A. looking into it. He explained that his biggest concern was the paparazzi following them right now; because the crazed fan would most likely be in Kansas soon, if he wasn’t there already.  They might need to stay at Uncle Sal’s acreage near Parkville, Missouri.

Uncle Sal nodded, “Si, Io mi occuperò di esso.”

Joey looked at his uncle, “È questo per me, non per lei.”  He wanted to make it clear that Jess wasn’t calling in her favor.  He would owe Uncle Sal for this.  Italians were all about keeping score, at least his family was, and they took their obligations very seriously.

The Parkers had just eaten, but when Papa Bellini a

As they walked out of the church, the paparazzi began taking pictures of everyone. Immediately, Joey put his hand protectively at Jess’s back and guided her into Lane’s Escalade, which he commandeered again.  He opened the driver’s door, got in and looked at Jess.  She was trying hard to hide it, but this was taking a toll.  When was this going to be over?

“Mom was a pretty bride, don’t you think?”

“I’ll take your word for it. I don’t make a habit of ogling other men’s girlfriends and wives.”  Hell, as far as he was concerned, there was only one woman in the church; and according to her, she wasn’t anyone’s girlfriend.

In the Board Room, toasts were made to the happy couple.  Some of them were even in English.  Lane pretended to take a small sip of champagne after each toast.  Ben carefully traded glasses with her occasionally, so it looked like she was drinking.

When Uncle Sal toasted them in English, wishing the newlyweds many sons, Jess once again began wondering how she was going to pull off the DNA testing.  The one thing she knew was that the Bellinis and Lucianos wouldn’t know anything about it until the results were in.  Last month, she’d listened as Uncle Vi

Ben had to be in court at nine o’clock in the morning, and he knew Lane was tired.  He talked to Jess and Joey, telling them that he and Lane were going to spend the night at a downtown hotel.  He suggested that Joey spend the night at the Parker house.  The room formerly occupied by Jake was open.  He spoke with Jake and Jamie, explaining that he’d asked Joey to stay at the house, before he made excuses to the rest of the family and left with Lane.

The party didn’t continue long after the guests of honor had gone.  The Luciano Uncles had congratulated Jess on her new movie as they walked with her toward the door.  The paparazzi was waiting in the parking lot as Jess walked out.  She stopped, smiled, and let them get some shots.  Everyone was calling “This way, Jessica.”  “One more, Jessica” then she heard someone yell, “Show us the ring, Jessica.”  What ring?  Then it hit her, the paparazzi had waited outside the church, she was the one wearing “white” oh God, they thought she’d married Joey only they thought it was Pauli.

Joey must have come to the realization at the same time. “She was just the maid of honor, guys.” He flashed that million watt Bellini smile and maneuvered her toward the SUV.  Hell, now they’d be camped out outside the Parker house all night waiting for him to come out. He imagined the headlines.  He couldn’t stay the night there. Oh, hell.