Tales from the Hood

Mr. Canis snarled.

“Let’s face it. Hamstead doesn’t sound like the sharpest knife in the drawer. Did you finally see the opportunity to kill the dumbest of the bunch and feast on his bones? Did you kill and eat Mr. Hamstead like you did Little Red Riding Hood’s defenseless old grandmother?”

“Objection!” Robin Hood shouted. “Mr. Canis is not on trial for killing Mr. Hamstead. There is no proof that Hamstead is even dead. Where is the body? Where is the murder weapon?”

“The murder weapon is the savage teeth on this brute!” Bluebeard shouted. “And the body is probably slowly digesting in his belly!”

Mr. Canis roared with rage. He swatted at the table in front of him, knocking it against a wall. It crumbled into splinters. A dozen card soldiers appeared and sprang on Canis. They clubbed him with the hilts of their swords, but their blows didn’t seem to faze him. Sabrina watched in horror. She had never seen Mr. Canis lose his temper so quickly. He tore into the guards like they were nothing, bellowing savagely. Eventually, reinforcements arrived, and the soldiers managed to drag Canis from the courtroom.

Judge Hatter, who had been wildly hammering with his fists, slumped in his chair and wiped his face with his robe. “We’ve heard enough for today. We’ll meet back here Tuesday.”

“But your honor,” Bluebeard said. “Tuesday was yesterday.”

“Hmmm . . . you may be right. When would you like to meet, again?”

“Tomorrow?”

“My good man, you’re a genius. We can’t exactly begin yesterday can we? No, really, can we?”

Bluebeard shook his head.

“Very well, time marches on despite our best efforts. We shall meet tomorrow,” Judge Hatter said.

“But your honor!” Little John cried. “We haven’t had an opportunity to question the witnesses.”

Unfortunately, the judge ignored the big man’s protest and darted out of the room. The Five of Diamonds dismissed the crowd and they began to file out through the double doors. As she left, Sabrina caught Mayor Heart squinting at her. The nasty woman was giggling like an idiot and flashing her yellow and crooked teeth. “Better luck tomorrow,” she cackled.

Sabrina watched Robin Hood deflate. He looked around the court, bewildered and mystified. “What just happened?” he asked.

“We got steamrolled, that’s what happened,” Little John grumbled.

The family hadn’t been home ten minutes before there was a knock at the door. When Sabrina answered it, she found Swineheart and Boarman standing on the porch looking embarrassed.

“We know you didn’t have a choice,” Gra

“We still feel like we let him down,” Swineheart said.

“I’m sure Mr. Canis knows you were trying to help,” Gra

“This trial is a travesty,” Boarman complained. “We can’t let them get away with this!”

“I don’t know how we’re going to stop them,” Sabrina said. “Mayor Heart handpicked the judge, and there are several members of the Scarlet Hand on the jury.”

“Perhaps the two of you might be interested in helping us,” Gra

“Help?” Swineheart said as he eyed the sandwiches hungrily.

“With our defense,” Gra

Boarman and Swineheart nodded.

“We’ll do our best,” Boarman said, “right after we have one of those delicious sandwiches.”

Gra

“What should we be looking for?” Daphne said.

“Any kind of discrepancy,” Gra

Daphne took out her pocket dictionary. That she didn’t just ask Sabrina was infuriating. It was easy enough to tell her sister that discrepancy was another word for contradiction, but the little girl didn’t seem to want Sabrina’s help anymore. It hurt her to feel that “grown-up” Daphne no longer needed her.

“I don’t even know what we’re supposed to be looking for,” Sabrina grumbled as she flipped through the books. “It was six hundred years ago.”

“Well, we should read them all, anyway,” Daphne said. “Maybe we’ll find that there were other eyewitnesses.”

“I think all the eyewitnesses are in the Wolf’s belly,” Sabrina said.

Gra

The group went through as many books as the afternoon would allow, but Sabrina’s heart was not in the research. The memory of Canis in the courtroom kept popping into her head. His rage-filled eyes and horrible roar made her shudder. Was there anything human left in her grandmother’s friend, and if so, how long could it hold out against the monster? Even more unsettling was her family’s lack of worry. What if the Wolf were to escape his chains in court, or overpower Nottingham and bust out of jail? Would he come back to Gra

While everyone was searching through the books, she managed to catch Boarman and Swineheart in the kitchen, rummaging in the refrigerator for more sandwiches. She carefully closed the kitchen door behind her, making double sure that no one was listening, and then turned to the men.

“Mr. Hamstead is alive,” she said.

“We know,” Swineheart said. “He wrote us a letter. You know the next time you folks leave town and want to bring along an Everafter, don’t hesitate to call.”

“Sorry,” Sabrina said. “It was a last-minute thing. He also gave us the key.”

The men shared a nervous look.

“He didn’t tell us that,” Boarman said. “Has your grandmother retrieved the weapon yet?”

Sabrina shook her head. “No, he gave the key to Daphne and me. He told us not to go get the weapon until we absolutely have to, but the way Mr. Canis is looking, I’d say it’s high time. Mr. Hamstead said you two could teach us how to use it.”

“What’s to know?” Boarman said. “It’s pretty self-explanatory. Just don’t point it at anything you don’t mean to destroy.”

Swineheart chuckled. “You remember when Ernest aimed it at his new car? I heard they found it in the next county.”

The pigs burst into laughter, both turning bright red before they got themselves under control.

“We shouldn’t laugh,” Boarman said. “His insurance premiums went through the roof. Still, we had to try it out before we used it on ol’ furball’s behind.”

“You three were the only ones to beat the Wolf, right? Mr. Hamstead told us a little and I’ve heard others mention it before, but I’ve never heard exactly what happened,” Sabrina asked.

Swineheart sighed. “Well, back before you were born the Wolf marched through this town terrorizing people, and no one could stop him. Not even your Grandpa Basil could control him, and Basil was one of the smartest and toughest human beings I ever met. Naturally, a furry lunatic ru