Tough Enough

Rogan’s sigh is so slight I almost don’t hear it. But I feel it, like the empty space in a dark room. You can’t see that it’s there, but you can somehow feel it. “Will you ever let me in?”

As though he knows what my response will be, Rogan shakes his head and pulls me forward again, tugging me through the glass doors into the living room, walking me silently back out to his motorcycle.

EIGHTEEN

Rogan

I’ve got a rip-roaring case of blue balls. I took a shower after I dropped Katie off. Got all hot and soapy, thought about that lush little body of hers and how she pressed her tits to my chest when I kissed her. Thought I’d remove the poisons from the building, if you know what I mean. No dice. I get the feeling only one thing’s go

Shit.

I hit the pulse button on the blender, gritting my teeth as if I’m actually pulverizing the fruits, vegetables and whey. When the mixture is nothing more than a foul-looking goop, I pour it into a glass and start chugging.

“Did you save any for me, asshole?”

Kurt.

I’m not in the mood for his attitude this morning.

“There’s a little left,” I reply mildly, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. “Help yourself.” I can’t bring myself to baby his belligerent ass this morning.

“You don’t have to be a dick,” he snips, grazing my hand with his shoulder as he wheels by me.

“I wasn’t being a dick. That’s your thing, not mine.”

Rather than jerking around toward me, ready to fight, Kurt turns a smug look my way. “Katie didn’t seem to mind.”

“What the hell was that, by the way?”

I’m glad he brought it up so I didn’t have to.

“What do you mean? Does it bother you that she flirted with your crippled younger brother?”

“She didn’t flirt with you, dude. She was just being nice. That’s the way she is.”

Although I’m nonchalant about his claim, a stab of jealousy rockets through me. Katie did seem more natural, more relaxed, even smiled more when she interacted with Kurt. That shouldn’t piss me off. I mean, he is my crippled brother. I should be happy for him if he could find someone to love and to love him.

Just not Katie.

Evidently I’m not that good of a person. At least not where she’s concerned.

“Keep telling yourself that, man.” Kurt clucks, smacking the side of the blender to get out the last of the smoothie. I could help him. But I don’t. Because, like all Rogan men, sometimes I can be an asshole.

I take a swim after my workout, pushing myself harder than usual. There’s a bug up my ass and I’m determined to drown it in endorphins. Unfortunately, they’re not even strong enough to do the trick. After a shower and lunch, I’m still antsy. I’ve glanced at the clock a hundred times. The minutes aren’t passing swiftly enough. What I really want is to see Katie. Only she hasn’t called.

I thought of surprising her this morning. I considered it again this afternoon, but I know I can’t push her. She’s obviously had some kind of bad experience, likely with a guy, that’s made her gun-shy, and the worst possible thing I could do is press her too hard, too fast. But it’s frustrating as shit to go so slow when I find myself thinking about her all the time, wondering what she’s thinking and what I could do or say to make her smile.

I’ve never met someone who I had to work for. Hell, I’ve never wanted to.

Until now.

Until Katie.

There’s just something about her. As vague and stupid as that sounds, there is. Of course I want to kiss her and peel her prim clothes off to see every inch of her satin skin. Who wouldn’t? But I find myself in the unusual place of wanting to get inside her head, too. To find out what scares her and to protect her from it, to do everything I can to take away that wary, distrustful look she carries around so often.

But to do that, I’ll have to go at her pace, which is slower than any snail in the history of time.

I glance at my watch again. Maybe she’ll show up at my door in another hour or so to rehearse again tonight. I left the invitation open. And if she doesn’t, then I’m going to find her. Slow is one thing, but I have to see her tonight. I have to.

Frustrated and full of restless energy, I head back to the pool for more swimming. I have to stay busy or else I’ll be on my bike, heading across town, and I damn well know it.

I’m not sure how much time has passed when I’m sitting on the edge of the pool letting my shorts dry. That’s when I hear the doorbell.

My smile is immediate. She came.

I leap up and head back through the house, calling out to Kurt in case he heard it, too. “I got it!”

No answer. He’s probably wearing his headset, gaming with someone online. Even better. He can stay the hell in there all night. That would suit me just fine. I want Katie all to myself.

I yank open the door without even looking through the glass on either side of the big double wooden panel. I’m not at all pleasantly surprised when I find Rayelle standing in front of me, looking hot in a tank dress that reveals a crazy amount of cleavage and barely covers her ass at the bottom. Yeah, she looks good, but I much prefer Katie’s natural, relaxed beauty to this.

My smile is bland. “Rayelle. What are you doing here?”

Her lips curve in a gesture a hungry lioness would be proud of. “I came to help you with your lines. Tony wanted you to rehearse, and who better to help with that than me?”

Likely story. I don’t have to ask what she’s really doing here. I know. I can see it in the eyes that are eating up my mostly naked form.

She came for me. Plain and simple.

I grin at her. “That’s awfully nice of you, but I’ve got plans for tonight. In fact, someone is coming over to read lines with me, but thanks for the offer.”

Obviously not one with whom subtlety is effective, Rayelle takes a step toward me, leans in to smash her tits up against my chest and plants her mouth onto mine. Her tongue is working its way between my lips at the same time that her hands are skimming their way down my bare stomach to the waistband of my shorts. I don’t push her away. I wait until she breaks the kiss. This is going to be awkward enough as it is.

I look down into her smoky eyes as she reaches inside my shorts. That’s when I take her wrist to stop her hand.

“I’m pretty sure that’s not in the script,” I tell her lightly.

“Not yet. But you know it’s coming. Why not get a little practice in? You know, for the love of the craft. Make it as convincing as possible.” Her smile is sexy and feline as hell. She’s all but purring and rubbing herself on me like a damn cat. “I promise you’ll enjoy it.”

“As, uh, tempting as that sounds, it’s just not a good time.”

The heat in her eyes fades just enough that I know she’s finally getting the hint. “Is this about Victoria? Are you two back together?” She steps away. No one wants to be on the receiving end of Victoria’s claws.

“No, it’s not Victoria.”

Now she just looks confused. I’m sure a girl like this can’t fathom any other explanation for being turned down. I doubt rejection is something she even considered when she was driving over here.

Her eyes narrow and then widen, like she just thought of the only possible reason I might not want a no-strings-attached bang. “Are you gay?”

I would laugh if it weren’t so pathetic. She’d rather chalk it up to me being gay than just not being interested. “Hell no, I’m not gay.”

“Then, what?”

“I’ve got other plans tonight. With someone else,” I say gently, trying my best to protect her ego. I don’t need any more claws pointed in my direction. Damn, these divas are complicated!