Darkest Before Dawn

“What is it, Honor?”

“First of all, I wasn’t—am not—deceiving you. I’m merely . . . selfish,” she said with a grimace.

“You are the least selfish person I know,” he growled.

She smiled faintly. “It’s just that I had to know . . . I had to know that you wanted me. That you loved me. I didn’t want you to be with me out of obligation. So I didn’t tell you right away. But I’m telling you now.”

His eyes were worried now. Not angry or apprehensive, as though he thought she’d done some horrible thing. He was worried for her, and she loved him all the more for it.

“I’m pregnant,” she said softly. “I’m having your baby, Guy. I’m almost five months pregnant.”

He stared down at her belly in shock and then back up to her face, as if what she was telling him simply didn’t compute.

“I don’t show unless I wear confining clothing. Hence the baggy attire I chose for this trip. Not even the others know. Only my parents and siblings. I had lost so much weight and was so starved that when I got back home, I was literally skin and bones, so the weight I’ve gained with the pregnancy has merely made it appear as though I regained what I’d lost before.”

“Show me,” he said, his voice cracking. “Let me see our child. Please.”

She bunched the hem of her oversized shirt and slowly pulled it upward. Both his hands ever so gently pressed against the mound, his fingers trembling against her skin.

“Are you all right?” he asked anxiously. “You were so hurt and as you said starved. It can’t be healthy for you to be having a baby.”

She smiled, wanting to reassure him. “My OB has me on a strict vitamin regimen as well as an eating schedule that my mother enforces like an army general.”

“Are you happy about it?” he asked, vulnerability creeping into his eyes.

She let him see the full force of her joy as she smiled back. “Oh yes,” she breathed. “The question is, are you?”

“Happy?” he asked hoarsely. “I don’t think happy can aptly describe my utter amazement right now. Oh God, Honor, I don’t deserve you or our child. Do you even know how many enemies I have? Do you understand the danger you’re putting yourself and our child in by wanting a life with me?”

His hands shook even harder, and she laid her palms softly over where his were branded to the swell of her belly.

“God didn’t forget me,” he said in awe, tears glittering brightly in his eyes as they lifted to hers. “I’m not damned. No man without a soul, a man damned for an eternity, could possibly be given two such precious gifts.”

Her heart ached for the pain Guy had suffered for so long. For how so very long he’d been truly alone in the world with no anchor to hold him.

“No, my darling,” she said tenderly. “Indeed you are very blessed. We both are. You’ve now been given a third chance. Tell me. Are you going to take it?”

“Yes,” he said fiercely. “Hell yes.”

He fused his mouth to hers in a hot rush. He was rough, nearly animalistic, his hands roaming possessively up and down her body but instantly gentling when they glided over where their child was nestled in her mother’s womb. He drew away, gasping sharply, his eyes glittering like a predator’s.

“You’ve sealed your fate giving yourself to me twice,” he said gruffly. “I let you go once. I’ll never do it again. So be sure, Honor. Be very sure this is what you want and I’m who you want. Because once you commit to me it’s going to be for goddamn ever.”

“Well thank you, God,” she said, feigning huge relief. “I mean, what does a girl have to do these days?”

“Tell me she loves me,” he said, his voice cracking. Her heart nearly broke as insecurity flashed in his eyes. And fear.

“I love you,” she whispered. “So much. I’ll never love someone as much as I love you.”

“Thank God,” he breathed, crushing her to him, hanging on to her for dear life. Tears burned his eyes and he didn’t care. He’d found redemption when he despaired of ever seeing the sun again.

“You’re a miracle,” he said hoarsely. “My sunshine, Honor.”

“Glad you finally recognize that,” she said with a grin.

EPILOGUE

HANCOCK carefully balanced the tray he was holding as he made his way from the kitchen into the living room where Honor was feeding Reece, who was now just over eight months old. He’d taken special care with this morning’s breakfast, artfully—as creative as he was capable of being—arranged, a single yellow rose in a long fluted vase situated beside the plate and a tall glass of apple juice, his wife’s favorite.

Even after all of these months, he paused at the sight of their son nestled lovingly against his mother’s chest, one of her hands holding the bottle in place while the other tenderly caressed his downy curls. Her expression so achingly beautiful that it never failed to take his breath away.

She murmured in low tones to Reece, telling him how very much he was loved by his mother and father. And she spoke absolute truth. The sun rose and set at his wife and child’s feet. Every single day he awoke, Honor nestled in his arms. Every night he went to bed sated, after making love to his wife, her sleepy, “I love you” or “I need you so much, Guy” brushing over his ears. It undid him every single time and he whispered a prayer of thanks that he’d found redemption and forgiveness, another chance with the woman he loved more than life.

The few times he was away from her, he was besieged by the need to return to her as quickly as he could. He wasn’t sure he would ever get over his fear of losing them, of coming home to find them gone. He, of all people, was all too aware of the evil that walked among ordinary people on this earth, and over the years he’d accumulated too many enemies to count.

It was why they lived as the only inhabitants on this remote island, which was only accessible by boat or helicopter. He’d made a lot of money during his years as a mercenary, fighting the good fight. Money he’d never used. Never had a reason to use. No one to spend it on.

But now? He had a wife and a son to spoil shamelessly, and he did so on a regular basis, much to Honor’s chagrin. He had to call back the grin at her exasperation and the statement she always gave him. That she had all she could ever want. She didn’t need anything else. But that didn’t mean he paid her any attention. If she so much as hinted, in all her i

Even now he was gleefully anticipating giving his first a

Sensing his presence, Honor looked up from where she was speaking in loving, low tones to their son, and she smiled, her eyes so full of love that it instilled a fierce ache in his heart. His soul swelled to near bursting if she so much as looked at him. He’d never grow tired of her love for him simmering in her eyes just as he’d always return it in kind.

“Not that I don’t love you spoiling me so, but what’s this?” she asked in a teasing tone.

He set the tray on the coffee table in front of her and then slid onto the couch next to her, leaning in to kiss her, cradling his son’s head in his large palm.

“Don’t tell me you forgot that today is our one year wedding a

She gri

“You loving me is all the gift I’ll ever need,” he said with complete sincerity.