Cam Girl

—11—

It rained all morning. The road was a ribbon of chrome winding through deep, dark forest, the broken coast shining like shards of metal covered in oil. Wind whipped foam off the water, thickening the air with mist. An empty fury that was all breath.

Ellis drove the rental car. I fought the urge to reach out, put a steadying hand on hers. She was good, if overcautious. I was good but reckless. That’s why we fit so well. Balanced each other out.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” I said. “About Blue.”

She frowned at the highway, the oncoming headlights scribbles of gold gel on the asphalt.

“He asked me to bring you. It was his sole condition for meeting, actually.”

Ellis kept staring straight ahead. “Why?”

Because I’m torn between the two of you. Because looking at you side by side will break me, and I’m not sure which half of my heart will be bigger.

“I don’t know,” I said.

“What if he wants to kill us both?”

“Really? Is this a Lifetime Original?”

“What do you actually know about him?”

“I know he’s not like that.”

“What is he like? Since you’re the expert.”

Her tone was cool, taunting. I wanted to say He’s like you with a dick, but I didn’t rise to it.

After a while she glanced over, sober now. “If it’s Max, and he’s decided he can’t live with the pain anymore . . .”

“Max wouldn’t do that.”

“How do you know?”

“Because he’s had the chance to hurt me.” And the chance to take advantage. I looked out the window. “He never has. We have a co

We fell quiet. Rain came down hard, bouncing off the blacktop like flashing coins. After a while I laid my hand lightly on her leg. Not in an erotic way, but not platonic, either. Merely familiar. I felt her tense up, then relax. We listened to the rain shredding the sky, all those threads of mist fraying into water.

Boston is almost a smaller, statelier Chicago, but instead of a neat grid its streets are a drunken spiderweb. I got us lost twice even with GPS. Neighborhoods scrolled past: cobblestone lanes and redbrick row houses, gas lamps leaking yellow fumes of light into the rain. We crossed the Charles River, its pewter skin stippled with raindrops.

Dane met us at a café a few blocks from the official meeting place. He ran out with an umbrella in either hand. Always the gentleman.

Indoors I threw my arms around him, squeezing hard.

“She missed me,” Dane told Ellis when I let go.

“Shut up.” I mussed his hair. He wore tight jeans and a fitted leather jacket, no inch of muscle undefined, and that puckish smile I’d actually, yes, sorta missed. “Been raising hell?”

“Been raising lots of things, baby.”

Ellis laughed.

“Don’t encourage him,” I said.

Dane winked at her. “You keeping out of trouble, Red?”

We both did a double take. Ellis recovered smoothly.

“Morgan never listens to her voice of reason. That’s why we’re here now.”

“Come on,” Dane said, motioning toward a table. “Let’s strategize.”

I left them to check myself in the bathroom. Last chance before meeting him face-to-face. As soon as I exited eyeshot, I pulled out my phone.

one more hour

my hair is frizzy from the rain

and I’m pretty sure Red hates us both

but this is actually happening

how will I know it’s you? what are you wearing?

—Vada

I set my phone on the counter and touched up my lip gloss, tried to tame the frizz. Understated makeup. Blue already knew me glammed up. No pretension today.

My phone vibrated.

you’ll know me when you see me.

i’m nervous, vada.

but when i think of holding you in my arms, all the fear falls away.

and all i feel is you.

see you soon.

—blue

I pressed the phone to my chest, inhaling deeply.

“Vada?”

Ellis stood behind me, watching me in the mirror. I slipped my phone into my jeans. She stepped close, caught my hand against my thigh. Her eyes were sad.

“This really is what you want,” she said softly.

“I don’t know what I want. That’s why I’m here.”

Our gazes locked in the mirror. For a moment I saw us as characters, not ourselves: a redheaded prince and a black-haired princess, neither of whom could rescue each other, in a story without a happy ending.

“Dane’s waiting,” I said.

“We could walk out of here right now.”

“Ellis.”

“We could go home. Or anywhere. Just me and you, Vada.”

I averted my face, but clasped the hand at my side, twisting my fingers in hers. “You are my home.”

“Then why are we here? What do you want?”

“I don’t know.” Something like this. Me and you, without the fear.

She untangled herself, pulled free. “I tried. But I was never enough for you.”

“Don’t.”

“I loved you the best I could.”

“Don’t make me fucking cry, Ellis.”

Eyes shut. Breathe.

When I opened them again, she was gone.

I turned on the water and listened to it for a while. Let it soothe me. Part of me had been born on a windswept prairie, but part had been born here, on this jagged, sea-lashed shore. The rawness and loneliness of New England resonated inside me like a tuning fork. The ocean was in my blood. I came here to escape who I was and only ended up finding myself again.

“You okay?” Dane said as I joined them at the table.

“Yep. So, plan?”

“Red says you don’t have visuals of this guy.”

I thought of the figurine photos. His hands. “Nothing that would actually help. He’s fair-ski

Ellis flicked a paper packet across the table. She and Dane were playing sugar hockey.

“That describes ninety percent of the people in this room,” she said.

“He told me I’d know him when I saw him.” I intercepted the packet. “That can only mean I already know him.”

“Or he’s someone famous,” Dane said.

“Or he’s lying,” Ellis said.

I flipped the packet to her. “Occam’s razor, Professor.”

“What’s that?” Dane asked, and for a second Ellis met my eyes, almost smiling.

“Assume I’ve seen him before,” I said. “He’s probably light-haired. Lean build. Blue eyes. Somewhere between his twenties and forties.”

Dane reclined in the booth, hands knit behind his head. “Sounds like your type.”

I kicked him under the table. Ellis flicked the sugar packet at his chest and it made a little thwap.

Again we almost shared a smile. Then she said, “He might be armed.”

“Give me a break. We’re meeting at a coffeehouse in the middle of the day. It’s not going to turn violent.”

“Unless you dump him in front of everyone.”

“You’re being ridiculous. I can go by myself if you’re that worried.”

I stood and they did, too.

“Morgan.” Dane touched my arm. “We just want to keep you safe. Right, Red?”

Ellis sighed.

“Look,” Dane said, “I’ll be there the whole time. I’ll come and go in different disguises.”

“Disguises?”

He took Ellis’s glasses and slid them on, gri

“I’m Clark Kent, baby.”

He was so goddamn cute I couldn’t stay mad. “Fine. No heroics, though. If stuff goes south, I’ll give you a sign.”

We hashed out the remaining logistics until Ellis went outdoors to vape. When she was gone I turned serious.

“Is it you, Dane?”

“What?”

“Clark Kent. Red. Our kiss. The show you gave me.” My hand darted across the table, seizing his like a viper. I turned his palm up. “Are you Blue?”

“I guess you’re go

My heart hung in my chest, untethered.

Dane squeezed my hand and let go. “I wouldn’t mess with you, Morgan. You and me had a spark. We let it die. That’s that. Besides, I’ve been busy with the studio. No time for romance. Last couple months, we pulled in more revenue than Frankie’s house.”