Pucked Up

“Let me see that.” Randy holds out his hand, and she passes it over. He flips the cape up and starts laughing so hard he almost falls off his chair. “It’s a superhero dick.”

“I bet a million dollars that’s Violet’s work,” I say.

“What’s the MC stand for?” Randy asks.

“I think that’s what Vi calls Waters’ dick. Monster Cock or something,” I offer. Everyone stops eating. “She does a lot of oversharing.”

Randy snorts. “Waters’ isn’t that hung.”

“That’s what I thought, but he’s got a stash of Magnum XL in his bedroom,” I reply. “Su

“No shit. He must be a serious grower.” Randy stabs a green bean and bites it in half.

“I can’t deal with this conversation.” Lily drops her fork on the table and grabs the dick sculpture. She and Su

The two of them are ridiculous, giggling their asses off as they hide the Superhero dick behind pillows, on the fireplace mantel, and in the fridge. It’s the first Lily’s smiled since Randy and I arrived.

When they’re done, Lily and Randy take care of the dishes while Su

“You okay? Still itchy?”

“It’s fine. I think it was a mosquito. I’ll put on some bug spray once we get the fire started.”

I wait until we’re away from the cottage before I say anything about our friends still inside. “You should probably warn Lily about Randy.”

“I already did.”

“Yeah, but—”

Su

“Yeah, but she’s probably not going to be making the best decisions, and Randy can be smooth.”

“Like you?”

There’s a difference between me and Randy. He’s a different kind of smooth. He’ll get involved with a bu

We were eleven when Randy’s parents split for good. His dad was mostly farm team with only a couple NHL seasons under his belt. He wasn’t very good about keeping his dick in his pants on the road. Randy’s mom put up with it until she couldn’t anymore. I think Randy’s afraid he’ll follow the same path, so whenever it starts to get too real, he bails.

I’ve always been upfront with bu

Still, her comment hits me right in the chest.

She must read it in my face. Her fingers curl around my chin. “I don’t mean it the way you’re taking it, Miller. Well, in some ways I do. You know what to say and when to say it, and you definitely know what to do and how to do it well, but I never feel like you’re feeding me lines.”

“That’s because I’m not.”

“I know. Lily’s been with Benji for a long time. She hasn’t been happy for a while. I think this week made her realize things aren’t going to get better.” She picks up a stick and twirls it between her fingers. “It’s another reason I didn’t want to flake out on Lily for this trip. Benji’s got some . . . issues. Sometimes he can be mean. Anyways, it might be good for her to have a fling.”

“As long as she gets that that’s all it is.”

“She knows all about you hockey boys.” She grabs my hand and moves toward the forest. “Come on, let’s get some kindling.”

We end up making out in the forest against a tree. Making out turns into moving Su

Once it’s blazing, I go back to the cottage to look for marshmallows and roasting sticks. Campfires aren’t campfires without them. I also want to head off any potential fuckery between Randy and Lily.

I’m too late, though. I find them in the kitchen. Randy has Lily pi

I close the screen door harder than I need to. Lily shoves him away and spins around, dunking her hands in the sink. Her back expands and contracts with every heavy breath. Randy wipes his mouth with his sleeve as he glances over his shoulder. “’Sup, Miller? You get a campfire going yet or what?”

“It’s marshmallow time.” I wrangle up a bag from the pantry along with graham crackers. I can’t find a chocolate bar, so I make do with Nutella. “You guys coming, or are you pla

He slips an arm around Lily’s waist and nuzzles her neck. “I’m partial to option two, but I’ll leave the decision to Lily here.”

“We’ll be right out,” she croaks.

Randy chuckles. I shake my head and shut the screen door behind me. For someone with a big hate-on for players—perceived or real—Lily seems intent to hook up with one. I wonder how long it’ll take for her to regret it.

***

I soon discover that Su

We stay outside for a few hours, but Su

Su

“I need a shower; my hair smells like campfire,” Su

I wrap my arms around her from behind and shove my nose in her blond waves. “You smell like toasted marshmallows. I like it.”

“I smell like smoke and bug spray. And I’m itchy.”

“I’ll give you a hand, then, eh?”

She turns around, her grin sloppy and her eyes glassy from all the mojitos. “I love it; my Canadia

“I like it when you rub your Canadia

I kiss her. Even her lips taste smoky. Easing my hands down her sides, I squeeze her ass. On the way back up, I pull her shirt over her head. She’s not wearing a bra. I’m about to take full advantage of that fact, until I notice the rash. Streaks of red cover her chest. I move her hair out of the way and note the same rash around the back of her neck, as if it’s followed the line of her bikini.

“Do you have any allergies?”

She looks down and screams, then brings her hands up to touch her boobs. I grab her wrists before she can make contact.

“Sweets, are you sure that was Virginia Creeper in the forest today?”

Her eyes shoot up to mine, tears already brimming. “Oh my God! I have poison ivy on my boobs?” It’s a question, like she doesn’t want to believe it’s possible.

I can’t lie to her. The evidence is splashed across her chest in a red, blistering rash. It’s even on her poor little nipples.