Pucked Up

“What? But your face wasn’t even in the picture. How could she know it was you?”

“Because you posted it using your own damn name.”

“Oh shit. But it could’ve been anyone’s balls. How did she trace them back to you?”

“It wasn’t just Su

“I’m sorry, man.” Randy looks horrified. “Is Waters shitting a brick? Do you need me to talk to him? Explain what happened? I’ll talk to Su

He means it. Which is why I can’t stay mad at him for long. He wouldn’t have posted the picture if he’d known it was going to mess things up.

“What’s done is done,” I tell him, checking the GPS to make sure we’re still on track. “So there’s a change of plans. I’m not going to Chapleau anymore.”

“I messed things up that bad for you?”

“Su

“So what’s the deal? You still go

“Cancel the reservation; you don’t need it. Waters’ cottage isn’t all that far from here. You can come with me, but that means dealing with Lily and the khaki twins.”

“I’m in. I’m looking forward to the entertainment. Will you come with me tomorrow afternoon now? We could wash this kickass rental.”

“I should be able to. I want to talk to the guy who runs it. After this week I want to get started on that project I’ve been talking about.” Other than Vi, my dad, and my PA, Randy’s the only person I’ve talked to about setting up a fundraiser.

Randy pats me on the shoulder. “I think that’s a great plan. Whatever help you want, I’m in.”

***

We make a quick stop on the way to Waters’ cottage in a tiny town called Bracebridge. The only store I can find is Walmart. I pick up a six-pack of briefs. They’re red. I’m not a big fan of wearing them, but they do a good job of containing my boys and reducing the friction like Nurse Debbie said they would. The swelling has gone down since this morning. I’ve got small apples instead of grapefruits.

In under an hour, we’re there. Waters’ cottage isn’t really a cottage. It’s two stories of stained cedar and massive windows with a wraparound deck. The landscaping is better than at my parents’. Huge pines and birch trees rise up around the house, sheltering it from the neighbors. The camping trailer is parked in front of a three-car garage. There’s music coming from inside. I take a peek in one of the windows. Lily’s boyfriend is passed out. He’s shirtless. And Violet thinks I’m hairy. I’ve got nothing on this guy. He has tufts on his shoulders.

“I’mma pretend I’mma bear and scare the piss out of him,” Randy whispers.

“They’re probably his distant relatives.”

He grabs the door handle, but I put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. “Later. I wa

Randy shrugs and follows me down the driveway to the deck. From where I’m standing I can see all the way to the lake. Patch McBushman is sitting on the edge of the dock with his feet in the water. I hope one of those fishing spiders climbs into his shorts and bites him on his tiny dick.

I find Su

Randy elbows me. “I’m go

I nod and crouch beside Su

“Su

She hums, but doesn’t move otherwise.

I trace the contour of her jaw with my fingertip, moving down the side of her neck to her throat and over her collarbone. The sound that comes out of her is more moan than a hum. Her eyes flutter, and she blinks against the sun. Surprise crosses her delicate features. It’s followed by recognition, relief, and then wariness.

Despite the final emotion, Su

“I am.”

She licks her lips, eyes roaming over my face. “I’m glad.”

“Me, too.”

“I was upset with you last night,” she says sleepily.

I nod. “I could tell. But I didn’t have anything to do with the pictures that went viral.”

“Always with the explanations.” She’s still stroking my beard. Her fingers drift over my lips.

“I thought you’d want to know what happened. Maybe hear my side of things.”

“I did. I do.”

I take her hand in mine and play with her fingers, just so I can touch her. Her nails, usually filed into curves, are ragged and chipped. “I didn’t like seeing you cry and not being able to do anything about it.”

“I was really drunk.”

“I didn’t like that either. I also didn’t like that you were stuck in a men’s bathroom, hiding from Bushm—Kale. Or all the pictures of you he posted this week. When did you get here?”

She stares at my chin when she answers. “Around eight this morning. Apparently I insisted we drive here, and Lily is fed up with Benji, so here we are. I think she drove the whole way. I don’t know where she is.”

“Probably inside, I’m guessing.” Or it’s a full moon and she’s changed into a werebear.

“Probably.” Su

When I’m an inch from her lips, I resist. “We should talk.”

“We should.” Her voice is soft, almost breathless.

I don’t want to say what I’m about to, but I liked what we had before sex and orgasms became part of the equation. It felt like a real relationship. “Before we start making out.”

“I disagree. We should kiss first, then talk.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I missed you this week, and you promised you’d make me feel better when I saw you.”

She clearly remembers our conversation from last night, which is a surprise. “And you think a kiss is going to make you feel better?”

She searches my face. “It doesn’t hurt to try.”

When her tongue peeks out to wet her bottom lip I give in. I brush my lips over hers. Her grip tightens on the back of my neck. Su

I’d like to get her naked right now, but Bushman’s within earshot. Randy and Lily aren’t all that far away, inside the cottage. And talking still takes precedence over taking our clothes off. I settle for deepening the kiss.

A shriek comes from somewhere in the cottage. Su

Lily skids to a halt behind him. She’s wielding one of those toilet paper holder stands. Three rolls flutter in the breeze, the paper unraveling behind her. She’s wearing a towel with shoulder straps. Her legs are covered in shaving lotion.