Pucked Up

Here’s the thing: I don’t blow smoke up girls asses. It’s never been my style. I’ve always been a straight shooter. Well, mostly. My dick curves a little to the right, so I compensate for that, but when it comes to my relationships, or non-relationships, I’ve never been a bullshitter. So everything I’ve said to Su

There’s nothing tentative about the way she shifts her pelvis so my dick goes real low. There’s no hesitation when she turns her cheek and bites the fleshy part of my palm before she kisses it.

“I’m the only person you’re seeing?”

“It’s been me and my hand—and yours, when I see you.” I leave out the part about my porn mags. Those don’t count since they’re only two-dimensional. Plus I always close my eyes at the end and pretend it’s Su

“Me, too.” She smiles, but it turns pensive almost immediately. “Well, mostly.”

I tense, because what the fuck does that mean?

Her eyes go wide, possibly at my expression. “I mean, it’s just been me, but sometimes I use . . . helpers.”

“Helpers?” I have no idea what she’s talking about. It makes me think of little elves ru

“Mmm . . . I have this little vibrating thing called a bullet, but it’s still just me touching myself. I’m go

She pulls me back down to her mouth. We’re slipping and sliding until it gets to the point where we’re both moaning, and I’m at risk of blowing my load all over her stomach if I don’t get in there soon. I glance down at the floor where my pants lie in a heap, wondering how I’m going to get to my wallet. Which is when I realize, I’m not packing.

CHAPTER SEVEN

BAGGY LOVE GLOVE

“Shit.” I bury my face in her neck and stay where I am, nestled nice and snug against her skin. I didn’t come with soldiers.

I haven’t been carrying condoms for a while now because I don’t have a reason to use them. Having them on me is like letting an alcoholic carry around a bottle of booze and expecting him not to drink it. It’s better to go unprepared so I don’t accidently do something I regret. Up until now it’s worked out damn well. Now it’s stupidity on my part.

“What’s wrong?” Su

“I didn’t come prepared.” If my dick were a person, he would grow arms and legs and kick the shit out of me. I’d ask for a blow job, but I almost don’t deserve one for not having packed the most important damn thing of all. And I’m supposed to be a top-tier boy scout. Fucking fail.

“Prepared?” She runs a hand through my hair and tilts her head back, giving me access to her neck. Her other hand comes to rest on my ass.

I kiss along her throat to her lips. “I didn’t bring any condoms.”

“Oh.”

Her obvious disappointment makes me feel better and worse at the same time. I almost want her to say it’s okay to do it without one. She could tell me she’s on the pill, or gets the shot, or has one of those DUI things, and I’d still bag it. I can barely take care of myself at this point in my life; I don’t need to make it more complicated with unexpected surprises.

“Oh! Wait! Alex always used to keep some in his bedroom. I’ll go check!” She unhooks her legs and pushes on my chest. I’m quick about getting off her, excited by the prospect that this could still go down. Su

I lie on my side, my hard-on hovering a few inches off the bed, suspended in mid-air. “I’ll be right here, in this exact position, when you get back.”

She bites her lip and looks me over, then turns and runs down the hall, her pert ass jiggling. As I lie on her bed, waiting for her to return, I wonder how she knows about her brother’s stash of condoms. Maybe she snooped in his room. I can’t imagine Waters offering up that information willingly. He’s far too protective of Su

Su

At first I think it’s awesome, because clearly this means Su

“These came from your brother’s room?”

“Yeah!”

“Did you bring his entire stash?”

“Nope. There’s loads more if we need them!” She’s bouncing, and her boobs shake with the movement. It’s distracting. “He used to have a couple of boxes in there, back before he moved to Chicago. I figured I’d take a chance and see if there were any left, and this is what I found. I guess he probably doesn’t need them anymore, so they’re all ours.”

I ignore the last part. I don’t want to think about what he and my sister get up to since I’ve already witnessed the tail end of fuckery—literally—in the team locker room after he got ejected from a game for fighting. No amount of brain scouring will get rid of walking in on that. The only good part about that night was meeting Su

I sift through the pile, flipping them over as I go, looking for something more my size. So far all I’m finding are the XLs. “You think he used these?”

Su

“You’re sure he didn’t get them for promo or something?” I’ve never checked out Waters’ junk on purpose, but we all walk around the locker room and air our shit out after it’s been cramped in a cup. Except Randy. He’s weird about shit like that. Waters doesn’t look like he should need these. I’m way bigger than he is when I’m hanging low. But then I’m a shower, not a grower.

“I have no idea. All I know is he keeps them in his closet.”

“You said he wasn’t a dickwhore. Why would he need all of these if he wasn’t pla

She waves off the comment. “I don’t think he usually has this many. His friend Reid gave these to him as a joke for his twenty-fifth birthday.”

“Huh. Well, I guess we lucked out. It looks like you found the mother lode.” Now I know way too much about Waters’ dick and the reason for Violet’s awkward gait when they were first dating. I guess she must have gotten used to him by now.

I sift through the pile and finally find a green foil square, thank Christ. Here’s the thing about condoms: it definitely sucks if they’re too small. No one wants to feel like the circulation is being cut off in his dick. But I’d sure as hell rather wear a condom that’s a little on the snug side than go with one that’s go

I’ve used the green ones before. They’re extra snug, and it makes my junk look more impressive when I have to fight to roll it on. The shaving routine helps make everything look bigger, too. Not that I need any help there.

“So . . . um . . . do you think one of those will work? I checked the expiration date. They’re all good for, like, two more years.”

She’s doing that thing with her hair again. I hold up the green foil square. “This is perfect. I’ll thank your brother the next time I see him.”