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“That’s what you’d do, isn’t it?”
“I hope so,” he said.
“Men are such goddamn assholes,” Lily said.
After another long silence, Lucas asked, “So what are you doing for sex?”
She started to laugh, but it caught in her throat, and she stood up and picked up her purse. “I better get going. Tell me you’ll come to New York.”
“Answer the question,” Lucas said. Without thinking about it, he moved closer. She noticed it, felt the pressure.
“We’re . . . very careful,” she said. “He can’t get too carried away.”
Lucas’ chest felt curiously thick, a combination of anger and expectation. The electricity between them crackled, and his voice was suddenly husky. “You never really liked being careful.”
“Ah, Jesus, Lucas,” she said.
He stepped up to her until he was only inches away. “Push me away,” he whispered.
“Lucas . . .”
“Push me away,” he said, “I’ll go.”
She stepped back, dropped her purse. Outside, the first heavy drops of rain careened off the sidewalk, and a woman with a dog on a leash dashed past the house.
She rocked back on her heels, looked down at her purse, then grabbed his shirt sleeve to balance herself, lifted one foot, then the other, pulled off her shoes, and stepped into the hallway that led to the bedroom. Lucas, standing in the living room, watched her go, until halfway down the hallway she turned her head, her dark eyes looking at him, and began to unbutton her blouse.
Their lovemaking, she said later, sometimes resembled a fight, had an edge of violence, a tone of aggression. They might begin with an effort at tenderness, but that would slip and they would be bucking, wrenching, twisting . . . .
That night, as the last of the storm cells rumbled off into Wisconsin, with the room smelling of sweat and sex, she sat on the edge of the bed. She seemed weary, but there was a smile at the corner of her lips.
“I’m such a goddamned slut,” she said.
“Oh, God . . .” He laughed.
“Well, it’s true,” she said, “I can’t believe it. I was such a nice girl for so long. But I just need. It’s not intimacy. You’re about as intimate as a fuckin’ bear. I need the sex. I need to get jammed. I really can’t believe it.”
“Did you know you were going to sleep with me?” Lucas asked. “When you got here?”
She sat unmoving for a moment, then said, “I thought it might happen. So I went to the hotel first, and checked in. In case anyone called.”
He ran a fingernail down the bumps of her spine, and she shivered. She was going back to the hotel in case “anyone” called . . . .
“This guy you’re sleeping with? ‘Anyone’?” Lucas said.
“Yes?”
“What are you going to tell him?”
“Nothing. He doesn’t need to know.” She turned toward him. “And don’t you tell him anything, either, Davenport.”
“Why?” Lucas said. “Why would I ever see him?”
“His name’s Dick Ke
CHAPTER
5
Early morning.
Lucas strolled along Thirty-fifth Street, sucking on half of an orange, taking in the city: looking at faces and display windows, at sleeping bums wrapped in blankets like thrown-away cigars, at the men hustling racks of newly made clothing through the streets.
The citric acid was sharp on his tongue, an antidote for the staleness of a poor night’s sleep. Halfway down the block, he stopped in front of a parking garage, stripped out the last of the pulp with his teeth, and dropped the rind into a battered trash barrel.
Midtown South squatted across the street, looking vaguely like a midwestern schoolhouse from the 1950s: blocky, functional, a little tired. Six squad cars were parked diagonally in front of the building, along with a Cushman scooter. Four more squads were double-parked farther up the street. As Lucas paused at the trash basket, disposing of the orange, a gray Plymouth stopped in the street. A lanky white-haired man climbed out of the passenger side, said something to the driver, laughed and pushed the door shut.
He didn’t slam the door, Lucas noticed: he gave it a careful push. His eyes came up, checked Lucas, checked him again, and then he turned carefully toward the station. The fingers of his left hand slipped under a brilliant-colored tie, and he unconsciously scratched himself over his heart.
Lucas, dodging traffic, crossed the street and followed the man toward the front doors. Lily had said Ke
“Are you Dick Ke
The man turned, eyes cool and watchful. “Yes?” He looked more closely. “Davenport? I thought it might be you . . . . Yeah, Ke
Ke
“Lily’s been telling me about you,” Lucas said, as they shook hands.
“All lies,” Ke
“Christ, I hope so,” Lucas said. Lucas took in Ke
“Gauguin,” Ke
“What?”
“Paul Gauguin, the French painter?”
“I didn’t know he did neckties,” Lucas said uncertainly.
“Yeah, him and Christian Dior, they’re like brothers,” Ke
“Yeah, but when you croak, how’d you like it to say on the stone, ‘Died opening a door’?” Lucas asked. Ke
“I could die pulling the tab on a beer can, if they let me drink beer, which they don’t,” Ke
“I don’t want to hear about it,” Lucas said.
“I don’t want to talk about it, but I do, all the time,” Ke
“Yeah, yeah . . .”
Lucas followed Ke
“ . . . your people’d get off their fuckin’ asses, we could get somewhere. That’s what’s fuckin’ us up, nobody wants to go outside because it’s too goddamn hot. We know he’s using the shit and he’s got to get it somewhere.”