The Dark Palace

‘All these bleedin’ Germans ’ave to get their ’air cut somewhere, don’ they? Stands to reason. I’ll bet you anythin’ they all go to this feller off the Strand. Dortmunder. That’s ’is name. Fritz Dortmunder. I mean. Summink like that. I ask you. If that ain’t the name of a German, I don’t know what is.’

‘I don’t doubt Herr Dortmunder is German, Inchball,’ said Qui

‘He’s more than that! He’s a bleedin’ spy master. See, all the other spies come to ’im to get their ’air cut, don’ they! I’m certain of it. It’s the perfect cover. People comin’ and goin’ all the time without drawin’ suspicion. Chattin’ away in that lingo of theirs. Who knows what they’re talkin’ about? Coastal defences in Kent? The Royal Navy’s new submarine design? Inland lines of communication? Could be anythin’. We don’t know. That’s the point. Why don’ you let me go there, guv? I’ll find out what he’s up to.’

‘And how do you propose to do that, Inchball?’

‘I shall masquerade … as a gentleman in need of a haircut.’

‘And then?’

‘Well … and then we shall see.’

‘I don’t quite understand, Inchball.’

‘We shall see what we shall see, guv. I know how to keep my eyes open, don’t you worry.’

‘For what in particular will you be on the look-out?’

‘What would you say, guv, if a man who was not in need of a haircut – nor indeed a shave! – went into a barber’s, sat down in a barber’s chair, and consented to have a sheet thrown over him and a pair of scissors taken to his neck? This a man, mind, who is in need of neither haircut nor shave. What would you say to that, guv?’

Qui

‘You would say it was suspicious, guv. And you’d be right. You could even go so far as to say it was mighty suspicious.’

‘How do you know that is what you will see?’

‘I already seen it! Yes! With my own bleedin’ eyes! And shall I tell you where I saw it? At Fritz bleedin’ Dortmunder’s. That’s where.’

Qui

Macadam’s enthusiasm for kinematography showed no signs of abating. By the middle of Tuesday, Qui

‘But you will sign the form?’

A flicker of his eyelids was all the assent Qui

An unexpected shadow passed over Macadam’s face, his head dipped in sudden reticence. ‘With respect, sir, for all the undoubted virtues of the Kineto camera, and it is a very good camera; you certainly ca

Qui

Sergeant Macadam’s eyes widened in hopeless, i

‘I don’t care about the damned camera.’ Qui

‘No, sir. I see, sir.’

‘What I mean to say is I shall leave it up to you.’

‘In that case, sir …’ Macadam leafed rapidly through the pages of the Kinematograph Enthusiast’s Weekly as if he feared it would be snatched from his hands again. ‘May I draw your attention to Messrs Butcher and Sons Empire Camera Number Two? It boasts many of the advantages of the Kineto camera which you selected …’

‘I didn’t select it, Macadam.’

‘The Empire Two can hold its own against the Kineto – that is what I’m saying, sir. And yet, it retails at a significantly – a significantly – lower price. What is more, from everything that I have read, this saving is achieved not through any sacrifice of quality, whether in the standard of engineering, manufacture, or the durability of parts. On none of those heads does the Empire Two give ground to the Kineto. Indeed, there are those who would argue that in one or two respects – I don’t wish to overstate the case, sir – in one or two respects only, it has the upper hand.’

‘Very well, the Empire Two it is, Macadam.’

‘Although … you may be wondering why I am not recommending the Empire Number One Camera, also manufactured by Messrs Butcher and Sons.’

‘I would expect that, Macadam. If they produce the Empire Number Two, I should expect them also to produce the Empire Number One.’

Macadam was momentarily thrown by Qui

‘Just complete the procurement form with the details of the camera you recommend and your reasons. I shall sign it and it will go up to Sir Edward.’

‘We shall need a projector too, sir. That goes without saying. As well as film stock and, uhm, there will need to be budgetary provision for processing. I am not sure the photographic lab here at the Yard will be up to it, sir. I could undertake to set up a darkroom myself, of course. It would require further expenditure initially, but …’

‘You are a policeman, Macadam. Not a lab technician. We shall have the films processed elsewhere.’

‘I agree, sir.’ Macadam gave an eager nod of obedience. ‘How long do you think it will take, sir, before we have the camera?’

‘I make no promises, Macadam. It is up to you to make the application as compelling as possible.’

‘Sir Edward is a great believer in i

‘We shall have to see.’

‘At any rate, the sooner we have the camera the better. There is no time like the present, after all. It would be invaluable in the present investigation of the German barber. I could, for instance, set up a concealed camera outside the barbershop and film everyone who comes and goes.’

‘Let us get the camera first,’ said Qui

To Qui

Qui