Blindfold

I hadn’t slept worth shit. At best guess, I’d gotten maybe two hours altogether, and that had been in stops and starts throughout the entire night.

A bleary-eyed glance at the clock told me I had to leave in an hour. I'd stayed up late attempting to read the section from the syllabus that they'd covered yesterday in class, but I knew I hadn't processed any of it. I was supposed to meet one of my classmates on campus to get notes, but even the thought of having to look over things made my head hurt. The whole idea of school was making my head hurt. I was down to the last few classes I needed, and I just wanted to...quit.

The thought made me wanted to cry.

I couldn’t quit. I didn’t want to not be a psychologist anymore, but life was kicking me so hard and fast lately, I felt like I was going to break.

First, I'd lost the job that was supposed to have gotten me through school, then everything had happened with Isadora and Ash...

My throat knotted up as his face drifted through my mind. “Quit it,” I said out loud, my voice rough. “You’ll get over him.”

I would, too. I wouldn’t waste my heart on a man who’d never love me. But I wasn't dumb enough to think it wouldn't hurt a little first.

Before I'd even had time to start that process though, I'd found that damn letter. That fucking letter.

They wanted to make sure I knew they could get to me or my family.

They wanted to scare me.

They’d succeeded.

Whoever the hell they were.

I felt sick inside.

What was I supposed to do? Part of me wanted to go to the cops, no matter what the mysterious 'they' had threatened. Yet another part of me still didn't trust them after what they'd done to me and my family. I’d lost my scholarship and so many other things thanks to them. Sure, it had been Vic getting in trouble that had started the whole mess, but they hadn't helped.

I didn’t want to trust them now, but I didn’t know who I could trust, either.

My hand shook as I lifted my coffee to my lips. It scalded my tongue as I took a sip, but I didn’t care. I needed the heat almost as much as I needed the caffeine. I felt frozen inside, frozen in a way I knew no heat or sweater could penetrate.

My mug had barely clicked down on the counter when I heard a knock at the front door. Immediately, I tensed, my limbs locking into place for one terrifying moment. Then, suddenly, I shoved backward, surprising myself when I actually moved so hard I fell against the opposite counter.

I groaned at the impact, banging into the sharp surface with enough force to form a bruise. Straightening, I rubbed at my hip as I stared at the door.

Now I was really shaken. Nobody was able to get in my building without being buzzed in, and I hadn't done it. Maybe someone else had, but that didn't explain why they were knocking at my door. It might've been an i

I started toward the door, pausing to grab my Louisville Slugger from its place behind the front door. I held it in my right hand, comforted by the familiar feel of it. I'd played baseball off and on most of my life, and I could still swing hard enough to do serious damage.

“Who is it?” I demanded, satisfied that my voice wasn't shaking.

The rest of me sure as hell was.

Relief went through me in a rush when I heard a familiar voice answer.

“It's me. I heard you yell. Are you okay?”

Ash.

My relief mixed with irritation.

Now my heart was racing all over again, and my hands felt damp and sweaty. The honest part of me knew that had nothing to do with being irritated and that irritated me even more. But I didn’t care about the honest part of me.

A sudden rush of longing swept over me, then faded as quickly as it had come. I seized onto the anger before it could go too, because anger was a lot better than the hurt that still echoed inside me.

For the first time since I’d read those chilling words, I felt warm. A side effect of what I was feeling, I knew. That emotion could warm me better than two cups of coffee, and it also managed to chase away the rest of the fear and clear my head of the last of the cobwebs.

Still gripping the bat, I dealt with the locks left-handed and wrenched the door open. “I'm fine.”

Ash’s eyes slid from my face to the bat. “And still mad at me, apparently.”

Curling my lip at him, I said, “Yeah, well, I don’t plan on getting another assault charge because of you. No man is worth it.” I tossed the bat back into its place. “Especially not you.”

His mouth tightened.

“Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way back out.”

“I’m not leaving just yet.”

Over my shoulder, I shot him a dark look. “Oh, yes. You are. I'll get the bat if I have to.”

“Toni...”

Spi

Ash stiffened, a flush creeping up his neck.

I waited, heart racing, my breath locked inside my lungs.

He’d explode or he’d leave. One or the other, I knew it.

But...he didn’t.

“You’re right.”

“Oh, don’t give me...” I stopped halfway through my rant as my brain processed what I'd heard. “Wait, what?”

He turned away. “You’re right.”

Moving to the window, he looked outside. My apartment was up on the second floor and he looked down onto the street, seeing a much different view than he was used to.

His voice was quiet as he continued, “You should know that Isadora tore me a new asshole last night. Once you were gone, I...I couldn’t sleep. I closed my eyes and I saw you. All I see is you.”

He turned back to face me and I saw the shadows under his eyes. Waspishly, I glared at him, arms crossed over my chest. “Poor Ash.”

“Your sympathy warms my heart,” he said dryly.

I huffed out a breath and pushed my hair back from my face. As I did, his gaze slid down to my chest. In that moment, I was acutely aware of how the tops of my breasts looked pressing against the low-cut top of my chemise, how the pajama bottoms I wore rode low, just below my hip bones. Judging by the look in his eyes, he was just as aware of the exposed skin as I was.

My arms went over my stomach again. “Yeah, well, I didn’t exactly sleep that well myself. If you want real sympathy, find a sycophant. Somebody is bound to give you some real pity.”

“I deserved the sleepless night.” He took a few steps in my direction, his eyes locking with mine.

I barely even noticed he had moved until that four feet between us narrowed down two feet, then one, then it was all but gone.

“I deserve pretty much every cutting insult you have under your belt, Toni.”

“Is that an invitation?” I gave him a tight smile. My entire body was humming, just from him being so close. I knew I should take a step back, but I couldn't get my legs to obey.

“Not really.” He reached up, trailing one finger down my cheek.

The light contact made me shiver.

“After I say what I came to say, if you want to throw me out, I’ll go. But I need to say this.”

I struggled to keep the edge to my voice. “I'd rather just throw you out now. I'm not really in the mood to hear anything you have to say.”

“Toni, please.”

It shouldn’t have mattered to me. What I’d wanted, needed, none of it had ever mattered that much to him before. Why should what he wanted matter to me now?

Sometimes, one of you just has to be willing to bend. To compromise. And the one who does it is often the strongest one in the relationship.