My Kind of Forever

Since Liam and I started dating, I’ve been the outcast - someone who would never be good enough for their son. The photographic memories Liam and I share have always included my family or Katelyn’s and Mason’s. The Westburys were always absent from all of them. I don’t even know if his mother ever posed with him for a prom photo. My guess is she didn’t, especially knowing he was going with me.

I head to work before more anger starts to set in. I can’t dwell on the past or change what has happened. I can only make a change for the future, if that’s what I want. I’m not sure it is though. How much effort do I put forth not knowing whether Bianca would return the gesture or not? Or whether she would be allowed to? We all know Sterling is controlling but Bianca came to my baby shower so either she’s sneaking out, or he’s just too old to care. Or maybe she’s had enough and is standing up to him. I have to admit I find the latter harder to believe.

As soon as I enter the florist side of my business, Je

“I’m restocking,” she says disappearing under the counter.

“I did that last night.” I walk around and find the wrapping paper scattered all over the floor.

Je

“At least she’s cute,” I say to Je

“Let me help you.” I bend down and start gathering the sheets of paper we use to wrap the flowers in. “How are you doing?” I ask her, curious if I’m losing touch with reality because while I miss Liam, the pain I was feeling earlier – the heartache – has subsided and that scares me. This is also the first time Jimmy’s been gone since the shooting.

Je

“I want to tell you yes, that it does get better, but I would be lying. I think we just get used to it.” I pull back and wipe away her tears. “It’s different for each of us. I was asking myself the same thing earlier. I’m not in agony over him being gone; does that mean I love him less?”

She shakes her head. “I’m so worried though. What if he’s not ready to be all crazy up on stage?”

I return to my stack and hand it to her, waiting for her to slide the papers back in. “What does Xander say?”

Je

“I think being on stage and chasing a toddler around are two different things. When he’s on stage, the exhilaration will keep him going. Besides, you know Liam and Harrison aren’t going to let anything happen to him.”

“I know,” she sighs, as she picks up the last stack of paper. “I think I’m looking for excuses for him to come home. I was thinking of taking a couple of days off and going out there.”

Her thought gives me the same idea but with Noah’s schedule, I can’t. He needs at least one parent at his games. If he weren’t playing baseball right now, we’d both be in California with Liam.

“I think you should. I think Jimmy will like that, and maybe it’ll put your mind at ease.”

“You think?”

“I do, and you guys can find time to take Eden to Disneyland. I bet she’d love that.”

Je

We’re still sitting on the floor when a young man steps up to the counter. We were both so lost in our conversation that we didn’t hear the chime on the door.

“Sorry,” I say as I scramble to my feet. “We didn’t hear you come in.”

“It’s cool,” he says. “I’d like a dozen red roses for my girlfriend.”

Je

“What’s the occasion?” I ask, as he signs his credit card receipt.

“No reason. I was walking by and saw the flowers in the window. I love her and think she should know that I’m thinking about her even as I’m walking down the street.”

Je

“Do chicks like that?”

Je

“Yes, she works over at the bank.”

“Then yes,” Je

“All right, then. How much is delivery?”

“It’s on the house,” I say, before Je

“Thank you.” He stays to inspect the flowers and chats with us for a few more minutes. When they’re ready, Je

The way the café was built, I can watch the flower shop while standing at the register of the café. It was done this way because I never thought I’d need staff for both sides. The café part is booming, especially during meals. In between the peak times, we have patrons who come in who read, gossip, and even write their novels. I like to think of the café as a happy place.

Dana and David are working tonight, training Pete and Tracy, who are both older and looking to supplement their income. My plan is to promote Dana at the end of the month once she tells me if she’s staying on through the summer or not.

“Hey, Josie,” Dana walks by with a tub full of dishes. When I started hiring, Mr. Powell suggested I have everyone call me Mrs. Westbury, just as we still call him Mr. Powell. He said it’s a respect thing, and while I don’t disagree, I find it awkward and impersonal.

“How was the lunch rush?” She passes the bucket off to David, who nods in my direction before disappearing out back.

“Every table was full, and Tracy and Pete really knew how to handle the pressure. David said Pete is a whiz in the kitchen.” Our kitchen isn’t anything extraordinary since we serve mostly soups, salads and sandwiches, but it’s good to know that Pete is capable of keeping up.

“That’s good,” I say, glancing back into the shop to make sure I didn’t miss another chime.

“So, how are you taking everything?”

“With Liam being gone?” I ask with a shrug. “It’s not the first time he’s been gone since we’ve been back together. They toured last year and are hoping to tour this summer, as well. Although, during the summer we can go…” I trail off because Dana is looking at me like I have two heads. Her eyes are squinted as if she’s in deep thought or utterly confused.

“What?” I help her along by asking instead of leaving her sitting there with a strained look on her face, trying to decide how to phrase her next question.

“I just thought… with the… never mind,” she says. She tries to walk away, but I reach out and grab her.

“With the what? Dana, what are you talking about?”

“The photos,” she says quietly, almost... shamefully.