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“No, nothing like that. Sleepless nights. No one to cuddle next to and your pillow no longer smells like you. I’ve taken to wearing a few of your shirts that were left.”
The thought of her curled up in my shirt brings a smile to my face. “Would you like me to send you one tomorrow?”
“Yes,” she says without hesitation. The only thing missing is her laugh. I really need to hear her giggle because then I’ll know everything’s okay.
“I love you, Jojo.”
“I love you, Liam. Tell me about LA. Do you remember the time that I was there?”
My groin stirs at the recollection of her in a red dress. The valley of her breasts was exposed, begging for me to mark her as mine. I had to do everything in my power not to cross the line and by line I mean taking her to bed to make her scream my name.
“I’ll never forget that night. I wanted you so badly and not just in my bed, but in my life. I wanted to see how you fit here. There were so many times when I’d stand at the window and imagine you down on the street. I’d look for you in the crowds at a concert. I always said that if I saw you, I’d never let you go until you told me to.”
“Why are you telling me this now?”
I shrug, even though she can’t see it. Taking a deep breath, I prepare to start spilling my guts. “I bottle shit up, you know this. I wish I didn’t, but sometimes it’s easier. Right now, I’m second-guessing myself as a husband, a father and a musician. I want to be home with you and Noah, but I want to be here as well. I’m trying to find a happy medium, but I don’t know what that is. When I was here before, you were on my mind every single day. Songs have been written about you, repeatedly, and that was never enough. It’s like I’m torn in two, Josie. The Page/Westbury parts are fighting for dominance and I honestly don’t know which side is going to win.”
“You’re a wonderful father and an amazing husband. You’re the husband I thought you’d be, the only difference is there’s no football, and that’s okay because that means no injuries, no free agency, no one talking about how old you are. You’re successful and have worked hard to gain what you have, what you give Noah and I. I don’t want you to change, Liam.”
She pauses, catching her breath. I can tell from her voice she’s been crying and even though she’s assured me nothing’s wrong, I know she’s not being honest with me.
“I want you to be who you want to be. Noah and I will support you no matter what.”
Her words trigger a wave of relief within me. Suddenly I feel ten pounds lighter. “You’re too good for me, you know that right?”
Josie sighs and giggles. She finally fucking giggles and now I’m smiling like a damn fool. “I’m not but I like that you think I am. We’re good for each other.”
Before we can get into how things are going, Noah’s home and chatting my ear off about baseball practice and spending the night at Nick’s. He tells me that Aubrey made him a tent for over his bed, and while he’s too big for it, he slept in it anyway so he wouldn’t hurt her feelings. He hangs up before I can ask him to put his mom back on the phone.
I’ll call after Noah’s in bed.
I shoot her a quick text. I’d rather let her spend some time with Noah, instead of sitting on the phone with me. Besides, with him in the room, we can’t really talk, so I’ll call her tonight. As I walk down the hall back to the club, I stop at the picture of my grandfather. I wish I had met him, had been a part of his life or he mine. My grandmother loved him, even though he left her. It takes a strong woman to hold on that long. Josie is strong like my grandma, while my mother isn’t. I don’t know what would possess anyone to give up their life for someone else. Not in the sense that you’re committed to each other, but to forget who you were. Because of what my mother did, likely at the request of my father, I didn’t get to know my grandmother and neither did my son. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to forgive her or Sterling for that.
It feels amazing to be back on a stage. We need to make a few adjustments for this venue, but we still have a few days before the first show. Tickets went on sale this morning and are selling like crazy. Even if Trixie closes Metro, she’ll have enough money to pay off debtors and get some repairs done. The club is really in need of a makeover.
As soon as the equipment is put away, I tell the guys that I need to speak with them. They both give me the “we don’t want to talk business” look. I don’t really blame them. Right now, business is at a standstill but we’re going to fix that one way or the other. Being in LA is an opportunity that we need to seize, grab the bull by the horns so to speak.
“Let’s get di
“It’s nice to see back in the magazines, Mr. Page. The camera sure does love you.”
I pause, resting my hand on top of the door. “What are you talking about?”
“You and Ms. Richards are on the front of every magazine and website out there.”
My blood turns cold as I take in his words. This is not good. I had forgotten about the paparazzi being outside the club when I let her in yesterday.
“Mate, your headline is the shit,” JD says as he holds his phone out for me.
On his screen is a picture of Layla and me. It’s fuzzy and meant to give off that stealth look and I can see why. Without the image being crisp, you can’t see us hugging. Instead, you see me trying to kiss her and it looks as though my hands may be in inappropriate places. As if the picture wasn’t bad enough, the headline reads: “Former lovers reunite as Page steps out on his wife” in bold letters going across the screen, really driving the point home. The only consolation out of this is that Josie doesn’t look at this shit, but I still have to tell her. I can’t hide this from her.
The former lovers part gives me pause. No one, aside from Harrison, Sam, Layla and her ex knew that we had slept together so I’m curious where the photographer picked up his information. It’s definitely not common knowledge.
Harrison pulls me into the car, still clutching JD’s phone. He takes it back, clearing the screen and leaving me with my own thoughts as the car takes off. Nothing is going right with this trip. First Josie goes radio silent, then Moreno shows up and now this photo. The next bomb to drop will be the book…
“Motherfucker,” I blurt out, earning stares from both Harrison and JD.
“Care to share?” Harrison asks. The answer should be no, but he’s my best friend, and he knows I’ll tell him everything.
I shake my head and ask myself how I could be so stupid. I should’ve pressed Josie harder on the phone about why she wouldn’t call me. I’ve been gone on tour before and we talked all the time. She’s never blown me off like that.
“JD, can you look and see when that book about me is coming out?”
He nods and starts moving around on his phone. I could look, but he knows his way about the web much easier. I swear it’s an age thing.
“Looks like it was three days ago, mate.”
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” I growl as I pound my fist into the door of the car. Everyone else is silent as I throw my temper tantrum. “The headline… whoever wrote the article read the book. No one knew about Layla and me, at least anyone that would tell. And the other day, Josie wouldn’t talk to me, I have a feeling she’s read the book.”
“She wouldn’t,” Harrison says and I want to agree with him, but the way things were left I’m not so sure. Josie didn’t want me to come out here and if she saw the book in the store, she’d buy it. Hell, if our roles were reversed, I’d buy it and read it in the car. My past is just that, my past. If I wanted people to know shit about me, I’d write my own fucking book.