Wet

Veronica nods her head and her helmet hair nods with it. “Sycamore Falls?” she asks. DD nods briskly.

What an ass. Who brings business cards to a wedding? I take the card, smile and nod too. “Thanks. I’ll be in touch.”

Just when I’m at a loss what to say next, another douchebag guy interrupts us to tell DD that there’s someone he wants him to meet. They excuse themselves and move across the courtyard.

Elle let’s out a deep breath and pulls her arm out of mine. “Thank you,” she says.

“For what?”

“All of it. Saying you’re my boyfriend. Being gorgeous and classy. Not saying what I know you wanted to.”

“Yeah, and what’s that?”

“I’m guessing that the word idiot would be involved.”

I grin at her. “You know me so well.”

I notice she’s chewing on her thumbnail.

“So do you think she’s pretty?” she asks in a soft voice.

“Veronica?”

She nods. For some reason Elle looks a little insecure.

“She’s all right I guess, if you like the pinched face look.”

Elle lets out such a loud guffaw that some wine splashes out of her glass. Luckily I dodge the wave of cabernet.

Pleased to see her enjoy my response, I share my other reference for her ex’s girlfriend. “You know, when I was young and got bored I used to read my sister’s Archie Comics, about that group of kids in high school. I thought Veronica was an uptight bitch. I’d pretty much say the same about this Veronica.”

“Archie Comics! I read those,” Elle exclaims.

“Betty was the one I liked. She was a cutie and kind of sexy. Fourteen-year- old me imagined pulling on her pigtails while I screwed her.”

“Naughty boy,” Elle says finishing off the wine she didn’t spill. “I bet Betty gave good head too.”

When I laugh it’s my turn to spill my wine, but alas my glass is empty. “Damn, Elle, you and your filthy mouth! And meanwhile Veronica was hanging with that rich gay dude . . . was it Reggie? Well honestly, he reminds me of a teenage version of your ex.”

“Me too! And not just in looks! Truthfully I’d screw Archie, or even Jughead before I’d do Reggie, knowing what I know now.”

I tip my head at her. “You’d do Jughead? The dude that wore a crown?”

She giggles. “On second thought, maybe not.”

A waiter comes by, and after taking our glasses he gives us fresh ones. I raise my glass to her. “Here’s to more laughs and spills tonight.”

She lifts hers. “Here, here.”

“I’ve got to say, I thought it was tacky when your ex gave me his business card. Is he always like that?”

“Always working? I bet you thought I was exaggerating. Well, I promise you, I wasn’t.”

“Wow. That sucks.”

She nods. “It does. I did’t care how much money he was making. I mean I work hard, but I want to have fun, too. Otherwise what’s the point?”

“Exactly.”

“You know that’s how I ended up with the house. He got it cheap because it needed a ton of repairs. He lied to the old lady who sold it to him and said he’d move his “family” in when all along he pla

“Good for them,” I say. “Those kind of developers are despicable.”

“Yeah . . . and he doesn’t know that I gave them ammunition to fight him. I love that house and I hated what he did to that sweet old lady. Eventually he gave up fighting them and let me have the house in the divorce instead of a bigger chunk of his money.”

“So you won and the neighborhood won, too.”

She nods. “And the best part is the neighbors all love me for it.”

“You’re a clever woman, Ms. Elle Jacoby.”

She stands up straighter and her smile lights up the courtyard. “Thank you.”

Elle looks off to the far side of the gathering, apparently making sure her ex isn’t close by. “So Stella’s fiancé, I mean husband, told her that Daniel and Veronica met at work.”

“Really? DD and Pinchy?”

She blinks at me rapidly. “Excuse me?”

“Those are my new nicknames for them.”

I love watching her laugh as I explain the references. This time it takes her almost a minute to recover.

She presses her hand over her stomach after she’s caught her breath. “Pinchy evidently is a mortgage broker.”

I nod. “She looks like one.”

She steps close to me and kisses me on the cheek while squeezing my shoulder. “I can’t believe you! I was dreading tonight and I’m having the best time.”

“I told you I loved weddings. The material to work with is endless.”

So whomever is paying for this shindig is loaded. Di

Elle was nervous about giving her speech but she does a super job, telling cute, single-girl stories from her and Stella’s party years that segue to her being overjoyed that Stella has found her prince. She looks relieved when she sits back down at our table.

I lean in close to her. “You did great!”

She glances over at me with big eyes. “You really think so? You aren’t just saying that?” she whispers.

“I swear. And may I also say that you are by far the prettiest girl here.”

She turns to look at me and studies me silently with her lips pressed together and her eyebrows scrunched. Why is she suddenly so serious?

“What?” I ask.

“I don’t know. You’re different tonight. What’s up?”

That damn girl-radar. She’s onto me. I stumble to recover. I don’t want to give up my game just yet.

“Nothing’s up. I’m just having fun. This is a great wedding!” I give her a goofy grin, and after watching me for another long second she takes a sip of wine and settles back in her chair.

Pinchy comes over to our table to say something to the woman sitting directly across from us. The woman nods and Pinchy heads back to the wedding party’s table.

“I wonder if she’s really smart,” Elle says with a pensive look on her face.

“Why do you care?” I ask.

She shrugs. “Oh, I don’t really, but Daniel always made me feel like I didn’t work hard and that I wasn’t smart enough.”

“You?” I ask, not hiding my disbelief at the dickwad’s gall.

She drinks more wine and I’m worried we’re about to head down emo road. When she isn’t looking I move her glass over behind mine.

“He also thought something was wrong with me because I liked sex so much.”

“Well, I think something was wrong with him because he didn’t,” I reply.

“He implied once it was low class.”

“Chalk up number forty-seven on the idiot tally.”

“The final straw was that he kept putting off having kids even though he understood how much I wanted them. He knew about my insecurities from my childhood, and told me he didn’t think I could handle a baby.”

My fingers curl into fists and I feel my pulse pounding in my forehead.

She looks over at me with an alarmed expression. “What, Paul?”

“You need to stop, okay? Because right now I’m amped up enough to beat the shit out of him and then he won’t be Dashing Daniel anymore unless he has deep pockets for plastic surgery.”

She gasps and shakes her head.

Resting my hands on her shoulders, I rub my thumbs over her soft skin. “Please change the subject, okay?”

She blinks rapidly and then her eyes dart around nervously before she leans into me. “I’ve got it. Did you hear what outrageous thing the Bruins did to the Tommy Trojan sculpture yesterday?”

I grin and gesture for her to bring it on.

That’s my girl.

Lots of wine at weddings can lead to some clueless dancing and this wedding is no exception. While out on the dance floor I’ve finally discovered the second thing DD doesn’t do well, after being a crap husband . . . is dancing. He looks like he has a Paul Bunyan-sized stick up his ass. I take great pleasure in watching him embarrass himself.